No players!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Kassokilleri2ff, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. Kassokilleri2ff

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    Ive scouted out some dating sites, payed and free. And things that arent necessarily dating sites, like myspace, and one thing i see alot is "i don't want a player"

    Damnit, women! Stop that. Its hard enough to get a girl without being a player. But now, if i try to learn the ways of showing confidence and being nice, and talking right, and acting right, then you wont like me because i have learned some skills! You will think that I just want to get in your pants like the other 100k girls pants ive gotten into. And its true! but ive only gotten into 3 pants, and realy, thats not my ultimate goal. But i cant just come out and say that of course, that would be stupid lol.

    If you don't want a player, the alternative is a guy with maybe some self esteem issues, not too much, maybe alot who knows, but it would show alot more than a player would show. You will have to settle for a guy who doesn't look that great,(and maybe he has potential but is not very good at bringing it out). And is not a pro at being romantic (hell maybe he hasn't a clue). You have to settle for somebody who doesn't always say the right thing at the right time, (all these things players know how to do).

    I know you want a guy with morals, and long term goals, the ability to take care of himself and you, some maturity, fun, blah blah blah blah. But! how will you ever find out that we have these qualities? I cant get a girl to talk to me now, and im a pretty decent looking guy i think, and i have some confidence, not too much tho. Im trying to learn how to catch eye contact and just try to be more playerish. But if i come off as a player you will ditch me?!!? noooooo!!! its hopeless!!

    I give up! your all too confident. Maybe ill turn gay. It would be hard seeing as guys look ugly to me. lol.

    Whats the deal ladies? What do you want a guy to do, when he first starts to talk to you?

    Should he act like hes hot shit, but then trip on his shoes and fall? Somwhere inbetween player and loser is the key? lol. Im just confused.
     
  2. 7x6

    7x6 Member

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    You aren't confused, you are this far>< from working out something that I didn't work out until I was 40. Women want it both ways, they don't want something between, they want a cocky funny bastard that could get any woman he wanted and a sensitive, faithful, romantic soulmate and friend. the dynamics of relationships are very fucking weird, don't pick the bland middle ground, try to be both, pick one and spend a little time as the other. I could never have managed to come across as a 'player' with a sensitive side but i've realised it's easy to be the sensitive, open, thoughtful friend with a slightly filthy sense of humour who turns out to be a surprisingly good fuck.

    Try being the (in your terms) loser but be, above everything, open and be yourself and do it with a twinkle in the eye and the occasional comment that'll ensure women don't see you as "just a friend". It's kept me in pussy since my divorce. I'm now with a stunning, multi-orgasmic jamacan woman who occasionally says things like "wow and to think I thought you weren't my type". Wish it had all clicked into place when I was 21.
     
  3. AlteredEgo

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    Wow. Listen to 7x6. He is onto something.

    I like finding out that that the shy, quiet guy is really brilliant and funny if you can get him to talk. I like to find out that his reticence is not a symptom of low self-esteem, but that he is in fact very confident and self-assured. I'm just one woman, but I can't be alone in this.
     
  4. snoozan

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    Yep, totally makes my pants fall off.
     
  5. Principessa

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    7x6, OMG! You have figured us out! Who told you the secret? :biggrin1::wink:



    You hit the nail on the head AlteredEgo! :smile:
     
  6. AlteredEgo

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    Thanks for the validation, Ladies. Now let's hunt down 7x6 and force him to stop giving away trade secrets. LOL

    Seriously, though. You have wisdom, Dude. Write an e-book and profit!
     
  7. 7x6

    7x6 Member

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    Really?, I don't think so, I just went through the emotional mangle a few years ago and came out of it a better person, my fear of rejection disappeared (simply by paling into insignificance compared with what i'd been through) and found myself simply fascinated by people. Little things like 'just be yourself' that i'd been advised when I was younger suddenly made sense for the first time. You can't completely reinvent yourself (for example, you can't decide to be a player if that's just not you), just picture a very slightly different but realistically achievable version of yourself and head for that and see how it goes.

    I reckon a lot of guys my age and who were in my position are in a very similar position.
     
  8. optimum

    optimum New Member

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    AlteredEgo, you just described my entire demeanor at college.

    I regret to inform you it's gotten me nowhere.
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    7x6, that is precisely what wisdom is.

    Ampoblaster, stop dating other 19-yr-olds. Either that, or maybe you're not talking to women who agree that you are funny. Not everyone's humor is for everyone. When I was 19, I didn't think my then-boyfriend was too funny. I could seee that he had a great sense of humor which would appeal to someone, but it didn't appeal to me most of the time. He was absolutely outstanding in a lot of other respects, so I dug him anyway. At the end of the day, though, you'll have the most success with women when success with women is less important to you. Just keep being yourself, keep meeting people, but try not to care about the outcome of those meetings.
     
  10. optimum

    optimum New Member

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    I don't, which I attribute my year of celibacy and non-existent dating to.
     
  11. Kassokilleri2ff

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    Damn lol. Guess i should get out there and try to close that gap. But first i must learn the ways of the cool loser! lolz.
     
  12. Jovial

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    Women feel guilty about wanting sex more than the guy, so they want the guy to be the aggressor. It's also a big turn on to be wanted for sex. These things partially explain why it seems women want "players".

    Also, If two guys are interested in a girl, one wants to get to know her and the other is more aggressive and seems to be more attracted to her, she will spend her time with the second guy. She thinks why should she waste her time getting to know a guy that doesn't seem that interested?

    Once a girl wants to have sex, you are compelled to have sex or else she will lose interest and think you are not interested. With every girl I've had sex with, I had to be more aggressive and/or have sex sooner than I actually wanted to. I'd be happy to wait a while and get to know them more before having sex, but if I do they think I'm not interested. It's like I have to have sex just to keep them around and get the opportunity to get to know them better.

    Women's perception of how much a man likes them is guided by the typical guys they meet. Since most guys try to have sex soon, women judge the nice guys that want to take time to get to know them as being uninterested. So as a "nice" guy you have to act like you are much more attracted than you actually are early on, just to keep the woman around. This also explains to women why some men seem very interested early on, then lose interest after a few weeks.
     
  13. kazooplayer

    kazooplayer New Member

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    Perfect advice. I do pretty well with women, and most of my guy friends do far less well; part of it is that I'm good-looking, workout, keep in good health - all that - but, mostly, I just don't give a shit. I am so jaded by relationships past, that I think every encounter is doomed from the start, so really, I talk to every girl as if I could really care less about the future and I'm only enjoying the moment. I think pretty girls are so used to having guys clamor all over them, when a guy pays them as much attention as the next person, they're intrigued.

    That said, if you want a girl, act like you're finding out if she's good enough for you, don't try to prove that you're good enough for her.
     
  14. 7x6

    7x6 Member

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    Sorry to take this way off topic but why do americans say "I could care less" where people from the UK would say "I couldn't care less". It seems to me that "couldn't care less" is making the point that you care so little about something that you simply couldn't care any less. What does "could care less" even mean?
     
  15. Jovial

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    It's sarcasm.
     
  16. JennyS

    JennyS New Member

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    Yeah. There are some questions on the new USA citizenship test that verify an immigrant's ability to be sarcastic. It's a requirement for all US citizens these days.
     
  17. 7x6

    7x6 Member

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    Really?, it's not very good sarcasm is it?, sarcasm would be "yeah, I really care a _lot_", not saying "I could care less", which is (sarcastically) claiming to care at least a little bit. If sarcasm is 'inverting' the sentiment of the phrase, what is the opposite of caring a little bit?, i'm confused, but not as confused as an american trying to get to grips with fucking irony...
     
  18. bigboy9239

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    It just goes to show you that a filthy sense of humor goes far....I have never been a player...but since my separation...I too....have had more pussy than I can handle..the puerto rican...black white...whatever.. chicks LOVE me....go figure..and I'm 55 and i'm getting girls that are 27-28...and FINE. Damn...if only i knew then what i know now....jesus...how many child support payments would i have?


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