No sex-drive?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Opalite, Aug 22, 2009.

  1. Opalite

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    I'm a bit worried about my partner, and I was hoping you guys had some experience with this.

    For the last seven or eight months my partner seems to have completely lost his sex drive. He does't get arroused, he doesn't get hard, and he doesn't seem te even want to. It's never been like this for us, and it's getting frustrating for the both of us. We do have an appointment at the doctor's on monday, but I'd like to know what you guys think.

    As a lady, it does make me feel rejected in a way.. Like I'm not doing it for him anymore and it's actually taking it's toll on my self-asteam in ways I never imagined. I'm puzzled as to whats causing his lack of interest and lust but I'm possitive he's not cheating.

    Even taking testosteron didn't seem to have much effect.. What could it be?
     
  2. badgirl22

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    I completely understand how you're feeling. Been there myself and it's a huge hit to the good ole self esteem. Not knowing the two of you it's hard to say what the problem might be but I'd first ask if there is any new type of stress in his life. Work? Family? Financial? That type of stress can cause problems. How is he feeling about himself physically and mentally? Has he started taking any new medications? Many meds have this undesired side effect.

    It sounds as though it's not just the physical erection thing that's a problem but the actual desire as well. Is the desire gone as a side effect because he lost the ability to get hard?

    I think going to the Dr. is the best thing he can do. I hope he figures it out for the benefit of both of you. Best wishes.
     
  3. luvinlife83

    luvinlife83 Member

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    In additon to no sex drive, is he feeling tired, depressed, and moody? If so, he might be experiencing the same thing I am which my doctor believes to be low testosterone. I am currently waiting for some more blood work to comeback to confirm it's low testosterone. That might be the issue.
     
  4. Opalite

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    There's nothing if such, appart from our sexlife everything is going great! He just started a new job, which I never saw him happier with and we've been planning a trip to Las Vegas (which for us is a big deal, seeing it's a 15 hour flight) for months and we're really looking foreward to it. Appart from that, there's no stress whatsoever.

    He is quite moody, but he isn't really depressed or tiered.. We did try testosterone, but It didn't do anything for him.

    I really hope the doc can shine some light on this, because it's getting really frustrating.

    Although I believe him when he says it's not because of me, I doesn't feel that way..
     
  5. sargon20

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    Sounds like depression to me.
     
  6. Opalite

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    Nope - no medications at all and he never drinks alcohol. But we'll see after we've been to the doctor I guess! :frown2:
     
  7. D_Tina_Ciao

    D_Tina_Ciao Account Disabled

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    Wishing you the best - you should have been to the doctor by now (unless it's a week from today). Will look forward to hearing what light he was able to shed on this. Good luck! :>)
     
  8. Symphonic

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    If he took the testosterone and his behavior didn't change he has brain cancer. 6 mos.
     
  9. erratic

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    He just started a new job - which, even if it's lots of fun is a lot of stress. Stress can kill libido, and you don't have to be depressed...
     
  10. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    Is he depressed or anxious? Or majorly stressed out at all?
     
  11. Bob Ross

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    I know I've been in a relationship and had a span of a week or two where I was never in the mood but if it's been 7 or 8 months that can't be good. Are we talking no sex at all over that span of time or just less often?
     
  12. cqguy

    cqguy New Member

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    Work and money stress can be a huge killer for me. Not so much that I lose sex drive, but I don't pay enough attention to my wife and get moody. I'm getting better at it though!
     
  13. areacode604

    areacode604 Well-Known Member

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    i agree. even a small amount of stress or anxiety can kill my libido. it doesnt have to be any kind of major event or problem, just annoyances at work, traffic, money.....its always been a problem for me. drugs like clonazepam help alot. muscle relaxants also work well for me.
     
  14. Notsoproud

    Notsoproud New Member

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    Your sexy...

    Only thing I could think of is.. he needs to stop J/O. Or work is getting to him
     
  15. Opalite

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    That's absolutely no sex for the last eight months, and with no sex I mean any for of intimicy appart from kissing. He told me yesterday he does masturebate in the shower at most once a month, but that he only does soto relieve stress and that there is nothing sexual about it

    We have a doctor's appointment this next monday hopefully.. So far he found excuses for them every single time. Eventhough I do understand inpotency is a super scary thing for a guy, my patience is running out.

    He is just 33 (I'm 20), so it doesn't seem to be an 'age thing'. We've litterally tried everything.
     
  16. D_Mansworthy Meatwrench III

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    It sounds like a mixture of stress, with equal parts life, and bullshit.

    By that I mean, life finds a way to get in the way of the fun parts, like sex.
    Doc might find his diet/nutrition will play a part as well.

    There is a large difference between "impotence", and not wanting to have sex, or not being in the mood. "Sex Drives" are dependant upon so many variables, THAT is scary.
    One variable at a time, one fix at a time. Medical, Psychological, take your pick.

    Patience, young Jedi, and then, more patience.
    It is the way it works, as they say.
     
  17. D_Cavernus Manhole

    D_Cavernus Manhole New Member

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    Sounds to me like he is bored with the sex in the relationship.
     
  18. Phil Ayesho

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    Male libido is a complex issue.

    33 may sound young, but it is the age when lots of men first begin to have issues with sexual performance.

    His lack of interest may be the result of a lack of confidence in his ability to perform... men will generally pull away from intimacy rather than feel they are letting their woman down because of erectile dysfunction...
    It is an embarrassment and that only adds to their sense of stress over sexuality and intimacy.

    Chances are it is not a lack of interest in you... the most likely culprit is cardiovascular. High cholesterol, not enough exercise, and a genetic tendency to circulatory disease can cause erectile dysfunction and testosterone will not have the slightest effect on that.

    You say he's tried testosterone... but if it did not come in the form of a cream, or a patch, then it was almost certainly not the right thing.
    Testosterone can not be taken orally, and most injectables you can get outside of the doctors office are other androgens intended for muscling up, not improving libido...

    Also- has he tried Viagra or Cialis?
    If he tries either of these and gets results, then it is most likely a circulatory/fitness related ED issue.

    Don't take it personally...
     
  19. Opalite

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    I said impotency, not because I thought it's the same as sexdrive, but because I suspect it beeing the underlying problem.. Either not being able to preform or the fright not to be 'good enough' (he always had a "problem" with cumming early, eventhough I've told him so many times I thought it was sexy). I might be absolutely wrong, and you do have a point.

    Though what Phil said did make a lot of sense, maybe I'm running ahead of things. I love him, but it sure gets frustrating a times. The testosterone he took were pills by the way, just something he still had from back when he used to fight professionally and trained a lot. Silly I never questioned the effect that it should have..

    We have only used kamagra (gell), but that did nothing appart from taste bad. Heh. He doesn't really seem to want to try anything else anymore.

    He is a big guy, in that he does have quite some pounds to spare. We do eat rather unhealthy seeing our unconventional working hours (tattoo parlor; up early, home late)... It does seem to add up!

    It's now saturday here, and we have a doctor's appointment scedueled for tuesday so I'll let you know how it went if he does decide to want to go this time...
     
  20. Phil Ayesho

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    No oral form of testosterone can survive the digestive tract.
    The kind of testosterone that might boost his libido will come in either the form of an injection, or, most likely, a topical cream or a patch ( like a nicotine patch)... the most commonly prescribed testosterone booster is a patch.
    You do not apply the cream or the patch to the sexual organ at all... it can literally go on any part of your body, and the testosterone is absorbed thru the skin into the bloodstream.

    I he is overweight, and his diet poor, then that is almost certainly the culprit, more likely than low testosterone.

    The Doctor will check his blood pressure, A high blood pressure, combined with weight and inactivity, causes the majority of ED...
     
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