No sex...

LaFemme

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I rather have satisfying sex with myself than be used as a glorified masturbatory device for some cretin.

i will echo this.

i have had two 5 year periods without sexual intimacy involving other people (as a sexually active adult). didn't care in the long run, rather that than lousy/forced sex! i know how to please myself.

Absolutely!
 

Hand_Solo

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Went five years without sex before separating with my wife. Goin' on six now. 'Tis a gift not to be squandered on the unworthy. Christ, that sounded incredibly vain. So be it.
 

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Oh, to be young again and think that a few months without sex is a big deal. Talk to me when you can count it in years! :eek:

Haha okay my bad...duly noted! :redface:

I rather have satisfying sex with myself than be used as a glorified masturbatory device for some cretin.

Well this is one of the reasons why I'm not having sex either. What's the point in having meaningless, boring, unsatisfying sex with someone when I can please myself much better haha.

Try studying engineering.
What's the point of this response? I've already graduated from a 4 year university course and don't need, nor would I ever want to, ever study engineering :smile:

Boo hoo. 21 year old virgin here. Don't come here crying that you cant handle a few weeks.

I was't crying or even complaining. Man up. :rolleyes:

Went five years without sex before separating with my wife. Goin' on six now. 'Tis a gift not to be squandered on the unworthy. Christ, that sounded incredibly vain. So be it.

I like this philosophy :smile:
 
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blakemilan

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most i been without sex was a year, and it was horrible. my hormones went berserk. now 2 weeks without it and i go berserk again
 

LaFemme

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@rtg - Sweetie, you should absolutely only be talking months at this point in your life. I applaud you for doing your best to make it count! Good for you!

Still, make sure you're enjoying yourself. Have fun when you can. There's plenty of time for celibacy, so if you don't make it to 3 months, who cares? It's not like you get a prize or anything. :biggrin: Do what you need to do for yourself!
 

rtg

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@rtg - Sweetie, you should absolutely only be talking months at this point in your life. I applaud you for doing your best to make it count! Good for you!

Still, make sure you're enjoying yourself. Have fun when you can. There's plenty of time for celibacy, so if you don't make it to 3 months, who cares? It's not like you get a prize or anything. :biggrin: Do what you need to do for yourself!

Thanks LaFemme :) I just feel like I need to do it at the moment cos I know how shit it makes me feel for being treated as a sexual object and not being appreciated or appropriately respected by men. So, I'm just going to wait until I find someone who I can share something meaningful with. But if I get too horny and that takes too long to find...then you're right, who cares if I don't last. Thanks :smile:
 

Tattooed Goddess

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I truly don't know how people can live in a sexless marriage. The longest I've been without sex since becoming sexually active was 27 months due to religious beliefs. Never again. I have to have some sort of sexual touch with another person a couple times a week (atleast) to be functioning at optimum potential.
 

LaFemme

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Thanks LaFemme :) I just feel like I need to do it at the moment cos I know how shit it makes me feel for being treated as a sexual object and not being appreciated or appropriately respected by men. So, I'm just going to wait until I find someone who I can share something meaningful with. But if I get too horny and that takes too long to find...then you're right, who cares if I don't last. Thanks :smile:

Excellent!

I truly don't know how people can live in a sexless marriage. The longest I've been without sex since becoming sexually active was 27 months due to religious beliefs. Never again. I have to have some sort of sexual touch with another person a couple times a week (atleast) to be functioning at optimum potential.

I couldn't have a sexless marriage or relationship. But I'm not married or in a relationship. I'm just without sex.

I miss sex so much, it's unbelievable, but I just can't go out and do it anymore - not casually anyway. But like you mentioned earlier, there comes a point when you can learn to function without it, and I can please myself quite well. It's not the same as being with someone, but......well, if there's no one there, there's no one there.
 

redneckgymrat

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A question. How important *is* sex to the average person? And yes, I'm asking sincerely.

I've been reading this thread, incredulously, and trying to imagine what it must be like for those who indulge/refrain. I truly do not understand the appeal...but, then, I admit to having no sex drive. In my imagination, it's messy and unhygienic. Your posts seem to imply that it's almost irresistible.

Viewed through my prism, it almost seems like addictive behavior.

To the OP, I'm actually rather proud of you for deciding to break the cycle of that addiction. Good job!
 

rtg

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A question. How important *is* sex to the average person? And yes, I'm asking sincerely.

I've been reading this thread, incredulously, and trying to imagine what it must be like for those who indulge/refrain. I truly do not understand the appeal...but, then, I admit to having no sex drive. In my imagination, it's messy and unhygienic. Your posts seem to imply that it's almost irresistible.

Viewed through my prism, it almost seems like addictive behavior.

To the OP, I'm actually rather proud of you for deciding to break the cycle of that addiction. Good job!

Well, thankyou :) For me, when it is with that special someone it is very important to me and I enjoy it immensely. I don't enjoy meaningless, random sex though...but in the past it did become somewhat an addiction to me to try and make myself feel good about myself (i.e. feeling attractive and wanted).

I think we are always seeking that amazing sex that keeps us going back for more...in my opinion, this is hard to find though and only happens for me when it's with someone that I have real feelings for.
 

petite

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In general, in all aspects of life I think that you should avoid doing things that make you feel shame because you should feel proud of who you are when you look at yourself in the mirror. Whether you should feel ashamed over doing something is worth addressing because sometimes people feel shame when they should not, but most people probably should listen to what their emotions are telling them a little more than they do. Shame is a feeling that tells you when you're behaving in a way that is contrary to your own expectations of respectable behavior. You should listen to those feelings because how you see yourself is more important than how anyone else on earth sees you and that is essential to your own happiness.

So in regards to your sex life, if it doesn't suit you, then I commend you for changing it!

A question. How important *is* sex to the average person? And yes, I'm asking sincerely.

I've been reading this thread, incredulously, and trying to imagine what it must be like for those who indulge/refrain. I truly do not understand the appeal...but, then, I admit to having no sex drive. In my imagination, it's messy and unhygienic. Your posts seem to imply that it's almost irresistible.

Viewed through my prism, it almost seems like addictive behavior.

To the OP, I'm actually rather proud of you for deciding to break the cycle of that addiction. Good job!

I've now experienced both sides.

I've always had a high sex drive. Between turning 18 and having a baby, the longest periods of celibacy were 3 months, which usually occurred because of distance from my lover, or a short period of time after breaking up with someone, and once because I was mad at my boyfriend and contemplating breaking up with him but I was still undecided because I loved him very much but I didn't want to have sex with him when I wasn't sure whether I was leaving him or not. Every time those three months felt like an intolerably long time.

Then I had the baby and everything changed. My hormones went out of whack and I lost my sex drive. It's not difficult to not have sex if you don't actually crave it. What bothered me was that I felt that I was obligated to fulfill that need for my partner and that a fundamental part of my identity had changed and that change made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn't realize that it was a part of my identity until that changed, but I didn't like the new way that it made me view myself. It dawned on me that I derived a feeling of satisfaction from feeling like we had an enviable sex life if people only knew. I felt like we were a hot couple and that was a part of my personal identity, but we became a lukewarm couple because even if you look good, you aren't hot if there's no sexual tension between the two of you. Anyway, I digress....

I suppose it is a little like addictive behavior, in the way that addictions are a kind of hunger. Just like with literal hunger for food, how a person fulfills that need can be healthy or unhealthy, just like if you ate a pile of Twinkies for lunch instead of a healthy sandwich and a bowl of soup. Maybe you should feel a little bad for eating all those Twinkies because it isn't healthy for you and it's not something that you ought to do every day, but there should be no shame associated with just being hungry and wanting to eat.
 
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Gamm

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Here I am losing my mind because I just ended a 6 year rocky relationship. The sex was mind blowing. She was just too cruel to everyone who was attached to me. She hated everyone that crossed my path. Everyone. I'm here wondering where I'm going to find a girlfriend because I'm Agoraphobic and can't get around like most people.... and women would be put off by it I guess. So I see celibacy in my present day and for God only knows how long. So how are YOU doing?