No sex...

edinbi18

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I have to say some of you are lucky that you have to decide not to have sex rather than you just dont get it at all :p I'm lucky if its once a year
 

EllieP

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The longest for me aside from the first 16 years was 24 months, and I had resigned myself to being celibate for life. I was thoroughly convinced I couldn't be in a relationship with a man for longer than a month. After five or six failed short-term attempts I decided just to hang up the old vagina and concentrate on my child and career.

Wouldn't you know it some asshole comes along and ruins my best laid (or unlaid) plans.

I seriously don't think I could go without for longer than six weeks (our longest because of surgery) without losing my freaking mind.
 

StatusQuo

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So I've set myself a challenge to go without sex for at least 3 months. It's already been 1 month. 3 months is my record...I reckon I can do it.

Just thought I'd share, I know nobody actually cares haha :tongue:

Are you talking about 3 months without sexual release, or sex in general?
 

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Are you talking about 3 months without sexual release, or sex in general?

Sex in general...anything sexual with a man. I can please myself as often as I wish. But I have no sex drive at the moment, so I'm lucky to it even once a week haha. But that suits me just fine :redface:
 

_Jonesy

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Why don't you keep having sex, but only with the best of the best. Don't let it just be anyone, you choose who you want because it will make you feel good... then you won't be the sexual object, they will :p

Seriously though good luck. I went 6 months to a year but although my sex drive is high when I am seeing people it can become quite low when I am not looking. The longest time before that was 17 years :p Although thinking about it... I have technically in my mind not had sex for years because I wasn't all that attracted to anyone I did have sex with. I think I need to like them to enjoy it, as in, be seeing them and almost love them? Strange.
 
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StatusQuo

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Sex in general...anything sexual with a man. I can please myself as often as I wish. But I have no sex drive at the moment, so I'm lucky to it even once a week haha. But that suits me just fine :redface:

Well best of luck to you. Not every guy out there is a dick. Not trying to keep you from your goal, but it seemed like it was in response to a string of bad experiences. Just letting you know not everyone is like that.
 

justacynic

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So I've set myself a challenge to go without sex for at least 3 months. It's already been 1 month. 3 months is my record...I reckon I can do it.

Just thought I'd share, I know nobody actually cares haha :tongue:

When you get to 12 months, we can start to talk...
 

rtg

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Why don't you keep having sex, but only with the best of the best. Don't let it just be anyone, you choose who you want because it will make you feel good... then you won't be the sexual object, they will :p

Seriously though good luck. I went 6 months to a year but although my sex drive is high when I am seeing people it can become quite low when I am not looking. The longest time before that was 17 years :p Although thinking about it... I have technically in my mind not had sex for years because I wasn't all that attracted to anyone I did have sex with. I think I need to like them to enjoy it, as in, be seeing them and almost love them? Strange.

Well, my dear friend, I can't have sex with the best of the best because you are not here :tongue: haha

But in all seriousness, I'm the same as you...I don't enjoy sex unless I'm actually really in love with someone. So what's the point? I'm just going to wait for that person. The only person I've had that amazing love making experience with is my ex (the one in the US)...and we all know that there is no future there (I'll update you again next time we talk lol).

There is this guy I'm friends with and he's really hot and has quite a nice cock (I'd prob rate it in the top 5 cocks I've had lol)..we slept together once and he has tried to sleep with me again quite a few times since. But I'm just not interested in sleeping with him again because there's not that emotional connection. It just didn't really do much for me and I just can't be bothered going back for seconds. I even stopped talking to him a couple of weeks ago cos I was sick of him trying to sleep with me lol.

So, this is why I'm waiting. I'm at that point in my life now where I don't want meaningless sex anymore to try and fill the void.
 

_Jonesy

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So what are you doing instead. Now you have more energy and time you should take up a hobby :D

Also, I'm one of those weird guys who doesn't like sex for sex. Seems I'm only just discovering this... I always wondered why sex was so boring to me.
 

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I am! I'm going to start getting guitar lessons again and the softball season started again. Haha it's not like I was spending much of my time having sex anyways since my ex worked outta town lol.

I think I've known what you are just discovering for a long time, but I'm only just really coming to terms with it... Sex kinda became like an addiction to me to make myself feel adequate.
 
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In general, in all aspects of life I think that you should avoid doing things that make you feel shame because you should feel proud of who you are when you look at yourself in the mirror. Whether you should feel ashamed over doing something is worth addressing because sometimes people feel shame when they should not, but most people probably should listen to what their emotions are telling them a little more than they do. Shame is a feeling that tells you when you're behaving in a way that is contrary to your own expectations of respectable behavior. You should listen to those feelings because how you see yourself is more important than how anyone else on earth sees you and that is essential to your own happiness.

So in regards to your sex life, if it doesn't suit you, then I commend you for changing it!



I've now experienced both sides.

I've always had a high sex drive. Between turning 18 and having a baby, the longest periods of celibacy were 3 months, which usually occurred because of distance from my lover, or a short period of time after breaking up with someone, and once because I was mad at my boyfriend and contemplating breaking up with him but I was still undecided because I loved him very much but I didn't want to have sex with him when I wasn't sure whether I was leaving him or not. Every time those three months felt like an intolerably long time.

Then I had the baby and everything changed. My hormones went out of whack and I lost my sex drive. It's not difficult to not have sex if you don't actually crave it. What bothered me was that I felt that I was obligated to fulfill that need for my partner and that a fundamental part of my identity had changed and that change made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn't realize that it was a part of my identity until that changed, but I didn't like the new way that it made me view myself. It dawned on me that I derived a feeling of satisfaction from feeling like we had an enviable sex life if people only knew. I felt like we were a hot couple and that was a part of my personal identity, but we became a lukewarm couple because even if you look good, you aren't hot if there's no sexual tension between the two of you. Anyway, I digress....

I suppose it is a little like addictive behavior, in the way that addictions are a kind of hunger. Just like with literal hunger for food, how a person fulfills that need can be healthy or unhealthy, just like if you ate a pile of Twinkies for lunch instead of a healthy sandwich and a bowl of soup. Maybe you should feel a little bad for eating all those Twinkies because it isn't healthy for you and it's not something that you ought to do every day, but there should be no shame associated with just being hungry and wanting to eat.

great post! I have had similar experiences after getting my heart broken, although it was not hormone-induced (that I'm aware of). Thanks
 

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Personally, I think waiting caps out on excitement after a few weeks. After that you just get so used to going without it, to me, it becomes easier to go without it. I never liked that effect.

i agree, i haven't for almost 2 years. and, i actually am not in any rush to.