1. schopenhauer

    schopenhauer New Member

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    I have this big problem... well... been together for over a year with my gf.. and she 'was' a virgin.. and said she wasn't ready for sex... besides oral, hand sex.... after some months.. we did some penetration/fucking.. but it hurt too much.. and after a few times... she didn't like it anymore.. saying she needed time.. but that's like 7 months ago...


    and I'm just starting to think.. I'm not the right person for her or something.. and I don't wanna pressure too much but still... how can you don't wanna have sex?? she says she's not ready... we have every form of sex on a regular basis.. (3 times a week) but no actual good hard fucking! drives me crazy sometimes...

    ah well.. anyone been in that place?
     
  2. Rubenesque

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    7 months? that's nothing..... I haven't had sex for a year!!! lol
     
  3. RoyalT

    RoyalT New Member

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    Take it slow when breaking her in. Maybe you were too eager and little rough (relative to her tightness etc).

    For now, maybe romance her. A nice dinner or write a song for her or something. Then slowly build up to sex with lots of kissing and cuddling, caressing.

    Then just go very slow, finger her first. Maybe oral. Do what she likes. I hope she likes SOMETHING be it oral or fingering or clit massage. Then put your cock in slowly. Maybe only the first inch. Then hold it while she gets used to it. Push a little in more slowly and hold it again. Play with her clit while doing that to make it easier for her. In a few weeks to months of this (weeks if you do it every day/multiple times a day) she'll be sufficiently stretched out.

    Good luck.
     
  4. SammyQ

    SammyQ New Member

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    Well my gf and i went over week without sex. tons of schoolwork and studying. and i thought that was a lot!! After that time though the first time he got back together...mmmm it was great.
     
  5. snoozan

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    has she seen her doctor (ob/gyn)? it could be psychological, but there also may be a medical problem. women that have been abused in the past often have difficulty relaxing enough to have intercourse. there are medical conditions that can make intercourse very painful.

    you really need to sit down and have a frank discussion with her about why she's reticent to have intercourse. we can't help you here anywhere near as much as an honest, candid talk with her. if you can't have that discussion with her and get a very specific answer, neither of you have any business being in a serious relationship.

    from what i gather from your post, she's said not ready. if after talking to her, this is still her stance for whatever reason, don't pressure her. you either need to respect and accept that or move on. you sound very young. go out and screw your brains out while you can if that's what you want.
     
  6. Love-it

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    Been there, done that. Sometimes 6 months, sometimes a year or more and what we finally found after 31 years was that my girth was too much for her. She has been dilating her vagina for over a year and still hasn't been able to get there. I believe the physical pain has led to a situation where she believes that intercourse will hurt and therefore it does.

    You seem willing to help your girlfriend work through this. If your girlfriend is willing to engage in foreplay, use more lubrication, has interest into dilating to acommodate you, there is hope.
     
  7. schopenhauer

    schopenhauer New Member

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    I did ask her about that once though.. abuse.. and I already asked her why it was... but the strange thing is.. after like a few months in the relationship... it was building up... I mean.. from and inch to whole insertion in the course of a month.. but then suddenly.. she refused once.. and again.. the next time she said she wasn't in the mood.. then i was a bit pissed or something.. and since that time.. well.. just oral/masturbation sex...

    maybe I should try to take the same approach as I did after a few months in the relationship...

    and I'm not that young anymore.. well.. in the middle of 20 and 30 ;)
     
  8. bassdude8

    bassdude8 New Member

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    I'm not that young anymore.. well.. in the middle of 20 and 30 ;)
    LOL- sorry, reading that last line just kinda hit me funny being 50yrs old!
     
  9. Duane.Ament

    Duane.Ament Member

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    I think that you need to be honest and tell her that you want to fuck and that it's driving you crazy that you two are not doing it!

    I'm not sure that I would dump her if nothing changes...but I might start exploring my options...
     
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