No-shows

[2924]

I've been communicating with this guy NewbieNudes, The best Amateur Porn Community for months now, and the other day we arranged to meet up on Thursday (today) and have a bit of fun; wanking each other off and seeing where it led, sort of thing.

The plan was to meet at this big cinema complex and then go on to his house which was free all day. We'd swapped phone numbers so we'd be able to find each other, and since I arrived an hour early I texted him to tell him as much. Didn't get any reply, but I just thought, "what the hell, maybe he's not got any credit. I'll keep an eye out for him anyway". Half an hour later and this becomes "Maybe he's not got my message and will arrive when we arranged". Another half an hour later and there's no sign of him, so I phone him and find his phone's switched off. Giving him the benefit of the doubt I wait another half hour, and there's still no sign, so I give up and get the bus back to the railway station and so back home.

So that's about £10 spent on bus and train fares for no reason, and me put off trying to meet anyone else.



Not really sure what the point of this thread is, but I had to rant about it somewhere.

Anyone else had similar disappointments?

 

[eric19831]

Good rant. I'd be pissed if that happened too! That would be such a let down. Better luck next time buddy

 

[D_alex8]

Anyone else had similar disappointments?

In the reasonably distant past, I twice ended up standing on a street corner waiting for a no-show. On both occasions, I was in a rather seedy area, and realized that the longer I stood there waiting and trying not to look suspicious, the more I looked like a rentboy touting for trade.

Happy days.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

He probably got cold feet, not much you can do about that, try sending an understanding email and see if that's the case.

On the other hand it might have been a mindfuck... this is the internet afterall.

 

[DC_DEEP]

If you are really really lucky, you'll have about a 50% flake rate. Expect it, don't take it personally.

Standing someone up is the sign of the truest lowlife slimebag.

Cold feet is no excuse. If you get cold feet, you call and cancel. The only acceptable excuse is a death in the family, and that's only barely acceptable.

 

[whatireallywant]

This has happened to me too. I talked to the guy on the phone, we agreed to meet, I went to the place we were to meet and he never showed up. I figured it was just as well. He was probably someone I wouldn't have wanted to meet anyway. And later on, I did meet others from my ad (although only one of them I went farther with than just dinner out.)

 

[B_Lightkeeper]

True story. Many years ago when I was bar-active and lived in Birmingham (Alabama) I met this cute guy in a gay club and bought him several drinks. He was with this other guy who I was not really interested in, but his friend kept wanting me to meet them both later.
I gave him my home phone number (just in case) and drove out to the shopping center where we had agreed to meet. I saw there waiting and waiting. I finally gave up and returning home, I found a message on my answering machine. It was the guy I was after apologizing and explaining why they didn't show up. It seemed his buddy was a hustler and wanted to rob me - maybe worse - that night.
I thanked this guy for letting me know and we made plans to meet - just he and I, the next night.
He kept the date this time by himself and I had a great time even though all he wanted was a blow job. He and his friend had heard about this bar and thought they could get their rocks off and maybe earn a few bucks.
He told me that he wasn't going to hang around with this guy anymore since he was a trouble maker.
He kept my phone number and called occasionally when he was feeling horney. I found out later that his friend was in jail for DUI as well as trying to hustle a vice cop. Served him right!

So maybe your friend had a good reason or isn't completely out with his sexual orientation.

Sometimes things work out for the best.

 

[crescendo69]

No-shows could be viewed as a blessing, I suppose, if they aren't ready or sincere. I've only met one contact from the internet so far; he was a nice guy, but I just didn't feel a spark, so after a meal and movie, we parted as light friends.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

If you are really really lucky, you'll have about a 50% flake rate. Expect it, don't take it personally.

Standing someone up is the sign of the truest lowlife slimebag.

Cold feet is no excuse. If you get cold feet, you call and cancel. The only acceptable excuse is a death in the family, and that's only barely acceptable.

Standing someone up is obviously a shitty thing to do, but I advocate a more open minded approach: maybe the person wasn't totally out or totally comfortable, and his conscious got to him, then he got cold feet and felt so bad about it that he turned his phone off out of fear of confrontation.

Sure, in maybe 2/3rds of cases the person is just an asshat, but there are also people out there who make mistakes and are too scared to admit it, and too scared to explain themselves through fear of confrontation.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

There are a lot of people who use the net who are, in real life, crippled by shyness or don't find it easy to meet people, they use the net as an escape where they can be someone else. I think they often don't intend to mislead people but get carried along by the moment. You suggest meeting and they take it as 'net talk' and say yes, then when they realise it's for real they find it hard to say that's not what I want because it would mean gainsaying all the crap they'd said to you. Others tell fibs so meeting would mean that the fibs they'd told you would be proven wrong. It's a shitty thing to do, people should make it clear pretty soon into a net friendship if they're really interested in meeting or just want to keep things on the net, that way you can both relax and know what expectations there might be.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

There are a lot of people who use the net who are, in real life, crippled by shyness or don't find it easy to meet people, they use the net as an escape where they can be someone else. I think they often don't intend to mislead people but get carried along by the moment. You suggest meeting and they take it as 'net talk' and say yes, then when they realise it's for real they find it hard to say that's not what I want because it would mean gainsaying all the crap they'd said to you. Others tell fibs so meeting would mean that the fibs they'd told you would be proven wrong. It's a shitty thing to do, people should make it clear pretty soon into a net friendship if they're really interested in meeting or just want to keep things on the net, that way you can both relax and know what expectations there might be.

Thats basically what I'm trying to say - coming from somebody who is utterly crippled by shyness in real life.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Standing someone up is obviously a shitty thing to do, but I advocate a more open minded approach: maybe the person wasn't totally out or totally comfortable, and his conscious got to him, then he got cold feet and felt so bad about it that he turned his phone off out of fear of confrontation.

Sure, in maybe 2/3rds of cases the person is just an asshat, but there are also people out there who make mistakes and are too scared to admit it, and too scared to explain themselves through fear of confrontation.

Even a simple phone call to say, "I changed my mind, I really can't go through with that" isn't ideal, but it's better than a no-explanation no-show. It doesn't matter what the excuse is, whether or not it's true. But just to leave someone hanging, waiting, is not excusable in my opinion. Better yet, though, is to avoid making commitments you KNOW you won't keep.

There are a lot of people who use the net who are, in real life, crippled by shyness or don't find it easy to meet people, they use the net as an escape where they can be someone else. I think they often don't intend to mislead people but get carried along by the moment. You suggest meeting and they take it as 'net talk' and say yes, then when they realise it's for real they find it hard to say that's not what I want because it would mean gainsaying all the crap they'd said to you. Others tell fibs so meeting would mean that the fibs they'd told you would be proven wrong. It's a shitty thing to do, people should make it clear pretty soon into a net friendship if they're really interested in meeting or just want to keep things on the net, that way you can both relax and know what expectations there might be.

Precisely my point. I find it exceptionally hard to believe that an individual really does not know himself well enough to know whether or not he will show up for a net-arranged meeting. I tend to think that when the person says "let's meet at The Boar's Tusk Pub," they know AT THAT TIME if they will or will not show - and if they know they will not, they should not agree to in the first place.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I realized that the longer I stood there waiting and trying not to look suspicious, the more I looked like a rentboy touting for trade.

Degrees of sameness, Heinz.
The rentboi wannabe in you is laughably transparent.
At all times, dude.
Get it? All times.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I find it exceptionally hard to believe that an individual really does not know himself well enough to know whether or not he will show up for a net-arranged meeting. I tend to think that when the person says "let's meet at The Boar's Tusk Pub," they know AT THAT TIME if they will or will not show - and if they know they will not, they should not agree to in the first place.

Well, DC, maybe they hope they can overcome their shyness. Maybe they really do believe it when they say it.
Doesn't excuse them, of course, for not alerting the other person once they find themselves settling into their old pattern of avoidance.

 

[D_alex8]

The rentboi wannabe in you is laughably transparent.
At all times, dude.
Get it? All times.

Excuse me while I retitle my memoirs "The Invisible Man-on-Man"...

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Excuse me while I retitle my memoirs "The Invisible Man-on-Man"...

I thought it was already optioned by Ralph Hellufun.

 

[D_alex8]

I thought it was already optioned by Ralph Hellufun.

I heard he changed his surname to Sellufun after he started turning tricks.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Excuse me while I retitle my memoirs "The Invisible Man-on-Man"...

But Heinz, you've already got the next best thing to invisibility.
As you once so artfully said: "All these big-dicked twinks look quite similar to me, though, so I could well be wrong.":redface:

Well, you've never been wrong, Heinz ... though this rare display of near-humility is refreshing.

And you're right again, twinkster.:biggrin1:

For the full factum, folks, look here: http://www.lpsg.org/adult-websites/32596-uncut-monster.html#post544767