No such thing as love?
- Thread starter Rugbypup
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unique_exposure
Experimental Member
I've always thought of love as more of a "force," as distinct from emotion. Romantic love is only a tiny slice of unconditional love, but seems to be a way many people prefer to conceive of it. Love based on attachment feels really different than not. Connection and joy seem to be entranceways into a state of love. It is sustained by the innate sense of freedom it brings, and by gratitude. $0.02.
wallyj84
Superior Member
Can someone really be a fucking wanker? Being a "wanker," i.e. someone who wanks, implies a lack of fucking.
Preakness
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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wanker
While "to wank" means "to masturbate", the term "wanker" is seldom if ever used in British slang to denote "one who wanks". It is quite wrong to infer from somebody's being a wanker that they in fact wank (and vice versa), but of course, fair to assume they do in any case. Herein lies the genius of the insult: if you call someone a wanker, it's probably true, but only literally.
I suppose it all originates from our repressed Victorian sexualities, from back when everybody thought they were the only ones to suffer the secret shame of being an actual wanker.
Most children these days learn the word "wanker" long before they learn its literal meaning.
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I've been reading and it seems, all emotions stem from one of two primal, fundamental emotions, fear and love.
In that sense, thinking of the strong positive emotions I have had, I'm reassured to know they are a derivative of being able to feel love.
I can feel attachment, affection, loyalty, happiness, excitement, joy.
I have siblings and parents and have felt that kind of love for family.
I've had pets and quite frankly go completely gooey over puppies and dogs.
I've just not had a distinct feeling for a person that i could say I know to be love, specifically romantic love. I find that worrying is all, because should it happen I'm afraid I will lack the fundamental skills to understand it.
Attractive men make me shy, bashful and introverted but also defensively cold, distant and unapproachable. Though I've never really ever been approached in a romantic manner anyway, lol.
How did you know, when it hit you, this is love?
What do you feel?
In that sense, thinking of the strong positive emotions I have had, I'm reassured to know they are a derivative of being able to feel love.
I can feel attachment, affection, loyalty, happiness, excitement, joy.
I have siblings and parents and have felt that kind of love for family.
I've had pets and quite frankly go completely gooey over puppies and dogs.
I've just not had a distinct feeling for a person that i could say I know to be love, specifically romantic love. I find that worrying is all, because should it happen I'm afraid I will lack the fundamental skills to understand it.
Attractive men make me shy, bashful and introverted but also defensively cold, distant and unapproachable. Though I've never really ever been approached in a romantic manner anyway, lol.
How did you know, when it hit you, this is love?
What do you feel?
It's hard to explain. I think the easiest way to put it is that you care more about the person you're in love with than you do for yourself. Making them happy is more important than your own happiness, but that sounds very unhealthy, and I suppose that's how many abusive relationships develop. In healthy relationships, the feeling's mutual, so it's not taken advantage of.
As for how it feels to be in love, there's a sense of excitement to it all. When you're apart, you can't wait to see each other again. You find yourself smiling at the thought of them and wondering what they're doing, and when you do see them again, you feel as if your heart will burst. I've been with my other half for 15 years now and although there are times when I feel like throttling him (and I'm sure it's mutual), I still get that warm fuzzy feeling and my heart skips a beat when I see him again if we've been apart.
There are many different ways for love to strike. It can be the thunderbolt - your eyes meet across a crowded room kind of thing - or it can be something that develops so gradually that you don't even realise what's going on.
As for how it feels to be in love, there's a sense of excitement to it all. When you're apart, you can't wait to see each other again. You find yourself smiling at the thought of them and wondering what they're doing, and when you do see them again, you feel as if your heart will burst. I've been with my other half for 15 years now and although there are times when I feel like throttling him (and I'm sure it's mutual), I still get that warm fuzzy feeling and my heart skips a beat when I see him again if we've been apart.
There are many different ways for love to strike. It can be the thunderbolt - your eyes meet across a crowded room kind of thing - or it can be something that develops so gradually that you don't even realise what's going on.
There isn't fundamental skills other than the precursor emotions! It comes naturally, without the need to understand.
You are overthinking it. Its not something that just switches definably on and off. Just forget all the worry, and wondering how it comes about, and just let what will happen, happen. :wink:
I don't think that love can be felt.
Love is not an emotion.
Love (as most people know it) is a complex construction of various learned behaviors and grouped emotions experienced over time.
When someone does something really amazing to or for you, the first emotion (if you are wired correctly) will be gratitude. You don't love them for their kind action. Now, if you know this person well, have personal respect for them and have experienced some sort of a "relationship" over time. You could then take that gratitude to the next level and "feel loved".
Love (as we know it) is a manmade construction though.
But...
That is only in receiving love, not in giving it.
You have what we refer to as "love" inside of you. It's in every cell of your body. It is the basic construction of our universe. It is more casually known as the "good that you give to others" without condition.
You feel love when you give goodness unconditionally. Love is forgiveness and love is help when you need it. Love is also stripping away the density of our physical bodies and experiencing another person's soul.
When humans relate soul to soul, they are in the process of loving one another.
You can only give love, you cannot accept it. When one person gives love and the other person gives love... there is love.
Love is sacrifice.
Love is not an emotion.
Love (as most people know it) is a complex construction of various learned behaviors and grouped emotions experienced over time.
When someone does something really amazing to or for you, the first emotion (if you are wired correctly) will be gratitude. You don't love them for their kind action. Now, if you know this person well, have personal respect for them and have experienced some sort of a "relationship" over time. You could then take that gratitude to the next level and "feel loved".
Love (as we know it) is a manmade construction though.
But...
That is only in receiving love, not in giving it.
You have what we refer to as "love" inside of you. It's in every cell of your body. It is the basic construction of our universe. It is more casually known as the "good that you give to others" without condition.
You feel love when you give goodness unconditionally. Love is forgiveness and love is help when you need it. Love is also stripping away the density of our physical bodies and experiencing another person's soul.
When humans relate soul to soul, they are in the process of loving one another.
You can only give love, you cannot accept it. When one person gives love and the other person gives love... there is love.
Love is sacrifice.
For me, love is not something that is learned, we all have it within us however it may take a certain someone or something to trigger the feeling. It's a raw part of our make up alongside other human traits such as happiness and jealously. Love is always there.
It's not a skill that you acquire due to practice. I am no better at loving another person than anyone else - we are all born with this capability inside of us, some chose to hide it or not let it rule them, but it is there. Just like we all know how to blink, how to breathe and so on, our ability to feel is something we are all capable of.
This is a really interesting question and the replies are really interesting and insightful.
It's not a skill that you acquire due to practice. I am no better at loving another person than anyone else - we are all born with this capability inside of us, some chose to hide it or not let it rule them, but it is there. Just like we all know how to blink, how to breathe and so on, our ability to feel is something we are all capable of.
This is a really interesting question and the replies are really interesting and insightful.
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I don`t think I have ever loved a person in that sexual way of loving!
I always wanted to love a person, I think I`m capable....it just seems men find it hard to love me...
Don`t know why
Oh, and it never crossed my mind to be the first to fall in love, I shall love only when I`m certain I am loved...
Selfish....idk.
I always wanted to love a person, I think I`m capable....it just seems men find it hard to love me...
Don`t know why
Oh, and it never crossed my mind to be the first to fall in love, I shall love only when I`m certain I am loved...
Selfish....idk.
helgaleena
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:fing02:Some of these definitions of love are really getting metaphysical. I think that's good!
I have heard it postulated that there are only two constituents to the universe-- light and love, or yin and yang, or levity and gravity... depends who's theorizing.
If you are meditating and begin to experience your living being as its constituent elements, however you may do it, you will discover that we all have the capacity of love because we are alive.
That may be of limited practical help to you, Pup. But I believe it. :240:
I have heard it postulated that there are only two constituents to the universe-- light and love, or yin and yang, or levity and gravity... depends who's theorizing.
If you are meditating and begin to experience your living being as its constituent elements, however you may do it, you will discover that we all have the capacity of love because we are alive.
That may be of limited practical help to you, Pup. But I believe it. :240:
B_theOtherJJ
Sexy Member
i don`t think i have ever loved a person in that sexual way of loving!
I always wanted to love a person, i think i`m capable....it just seems men find it hard to love me...
Don`t know why
oh, and it never crossed my mind to be the first to fall in love, i shall love only when i`m certain i am loved...
Selfish....idk.
dont get me started !!!!
Incocknito
Sexy Member
according to osme psychologists love doesnt actually exist it is a reaction to the nuerotransmitter oxytocin, so therefore if thats right then if something stimulates the release of oxytocin it produces feelings of being in love so most likely according to them psychologists everyone has felt "love" but not necessarily in the context of them feelings resulting from human interactions
Drifterwood
Superior Member
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