No!

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah, Jan 12, 2008.

  1. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Let me start by saying im not a door mat i just like people to be happy. The problem is in the process i have noticed that i will do things i don't want to do and be unhappy to make them happy. Normally this isn't a problem because i like to think im reasonably easy going and will go along with most things.

    However a situation arose earlier this week where i knew i was being taken advantage of, being pushed aside and was going to be miserable if i didn't confront the this.

    Now whilst i do feel slightly horrible for being the break in the chain i do feel proud of myself and relieved that i could finally say NO to this person and stop the situation from going against me and my better judgment. even when they started pressuring me to go along with their plans i stood my grounds and stuck to my firm NO.

    Its a good feeling to know that i do have that strength to stand up for myself when need be. And that the world isn't
    going to turn against me for doing so
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    Damn right! And well done.
     
  3. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Good job Lisa:wink:
     
  4. Gillette

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    Good for you.

    They may not be happy with your refusal but they'll respect you more for holding your ground.
     
  5. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    FANTASTIC!!

    i need to work on this too!
     
  6. SpoiledPrincess

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    We all do things every now that we don't want to, but it depends who you're doing them for that makes the difference, doing something you're not overkeen on for your partner is very different to being a doormat for strangers or acquaintances. Sounds like you finally said no to someone you should have said it to long ago, well done :)
     
  7. njreg

    njreg Member

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    I agree wholeheartedly, SP. I remember reading a while back that some semi-famous person (Ann Landers, I believe) said "No one takes advantage of you without your persmission." Or something similar to that. I always keep that thought in mind when I begin to wonder if I'm doing a nice gesture for someone or whether it's expected from them because they're "entitled" to it.
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

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    It should be a two way thing when it's with your partner, we all do some things that we're not keen on (not things we strongly object too I'd hope) just because our partner likes them, and he/she will do things for us, but some people put the feelings of strangers before their own in a desire not to offend, or not to be seen as the bad guy.
     
  9. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I find assertiveness is difficult because I was taught that it's pushy and rude. The result is either I gave in and felt like shit or I got angry. There was no middle ground. I'm still not good at it but am learning. It's not easy and am glad you have found a way to do it. Congratulations!
     
  10. Jovial

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    I think a lot of women have a desire to make others happy. It gives them a goal to work for. Men can also be like this, but it seems more often (from my perspective) in a relationship the woman is the one trying harder to make the man happy. The problem is if the giver doesn't feel appreciated over time he/she gets tired of giving. It sounds like this is what happened to you.

    Two things a successful long-term relationship needs are respect and appreciation. Making sure you receive these things from a partner can prevent you from becoming a doormat.

    I'm happy to hear that you finally stood up for yourself and demanded some respect.
     
  11. Mr. Snakey

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    This is just one of many reasons why you are so wonderful.:smile:
     
  12. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Damned bunch iof pushoverss.
     
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