non-binary vers top advices

eaubrouillante

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Hi everyone! Well, as the title says, I'm a non-binary person who has had more sexual experiences being a bottom than as a top. Personally, I enjoy both, but slightly more top as being bottom involves getting prepared and the constant fear of something happening during sex (I already had some of those, and I can say that I'm a bit traumatized by that, so every time I'm going to have sex where I know I'm gonna bottom at some point, that fear appears, and I can't enjoy the whole experience as I should). Meanwhile, this doesn't happen when I'm topping because I simply don't care if something happens, or if the bottom showered or not. Well, the problem is that as I'm a non-binary person, it's more likely that people tend to think that there's no other possibility than me being bottom because I'm more fem and because I have a big bum. Instantly people are interested in topping me, even if they are most often bottoms.

So, I feel trapped in this paradox, that the only possibility that people will get interested in me is if I'm a bottom (or vers that will have to bottom at some point), and feeling uncomfortable being bottom because of all the work involved with it (even tho I LOVE to bottom as well)

I'm here looking for people that could give me advice on what I could do, or if anyone has already experienced something similar.
 
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Hi everyone! Well, as the title says, I'm a non-binary person who has had more sexual experiences being a bottom than as a top. Personally, I enjoy both, but slightly more top as being bottom involves getting prepared and the constant fear of something happening during sex (I already had some of those, and I can say that I'm a bit traumatized by that, so every time I'm going to have sex where I know I'm gonna bottom at some point, that fear appears, and I can't enjoy the whole experience as I should). Meanwhile, this doesn't happen when I'm topping because I simply don't care if something happens, or if the bottom showered or not. Well, the problem is that as I'm a non-binary person, it's more likely that people tend to think that there's no other possibility than me being bottom because I'm more fem and because I have a big bum. Instantly people are interested in topping me, even if they are most often bottoms.

So, I feel trapped in this paradox, that the only possibility that people will get interested in me is if I'm a bottom (or vers that will have to bottom at some point), and feeling uncomfortable being bottom because of all the work involved with it (even tho I LOVE to bottom as well)

I'm here looking for people that could give me advice on what I could do, or if anyone has already experienced something similar.
Hey there. I’m enby and present male with femme attributes. Dominant in bed and 100% top (I have IBD so bottoming causes a fair amount of pain and flare — also, i just love fucking a perky ass :cool:)

anyway, it’s v frustrating when people assume sexual roles based on gender and presentation. Or body part. show someone a pic of my ass and the first thing out of their mouth is “why show me your ass if you’re a top?” The implicit meaning being I’m not really a top but obtusely begging to get railed.

what has worked for me and my best advice: be you as a top and be honest. And I mean v simply, advertise yourself as a more femme enby exploring themself as a sexual top and looking for bottoms who are into it. There are bottoms who love to get topped and even dominated by more femme folks.

bottom (and top) line: don’t try to fit any particular expectation of being a top. Be the best top YOU are. And if you’ve had experience as a bottom, you know what makes a bottom comfortable, feel attractive, turned on. You’ve got an insider’s knowledge (I’m sure there’s a pun in there somewhere). And let people know you are experimenting and broadening your horizons. It takes some of the anxiety out of feeling the need to perform like some veteran pornhub top.

does any of this rambling make sense? Haha
 
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