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I’ve been in a long term relationship for 8.5 years now (MM). My partner about 2 years ago expressed the need/desire to be non-monogamous. I agreed and we set ground rules but never wanted to partake myself. Our own sex life has been poor throughout but we’re great life partners so have made it work.
My issue now is my partner keeps overpassing the ground rules we’ve set and recently I’ve found video evidence on his iCloud. This gives me a visceral emotional reaction but then logic dictates that I allowed this and we never really set rules on videos or anything so I feel I can’t grumble.
So current situation is a poor sex life for me with a partner who fulfils his needs elsewhere with my assent. I’m not against him being non-monogamous but I feel I get the raw end of the deal here with occasional sex and lots of wanking alone.
If you were in my shoes what would you do?
Despite us coming close last year we decided we don’t want to break up, indeed our relationship apart from sex is very strong.
My issue now is my partner keeps overpassing the ground rules we’ve set and recently I’ve found video evidence on his iCloud. This gives me a visceral emotional reaction but then logic dictates that I allowed this and we never really set rules on videos or anything so I feel I can’t grumble.
So current situation is a poor sex life for me with a partner who fulfils his needs elsewhere with my assent. I’m not against him being non-monogamous but I feel I get the raw end of the deal here with occasional sex and lots of wanking alone.
If you were in my shoes what would you do?
Despite us coming close last year we decided we don’t want to break up, indeed our relationship apart from sex is very strong.