Non-Sexual Ass Slap?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by hoggindaz, Sep 3, 2010.

  1. hoggindaz

    hoggindaz New Member

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    This is something i do occasionally to men and women i work with usually after meetings to boost my employees moral, despite what you may think it is completely nonsexual i don't really try to do it consciously but it sort of became a habit from years of wrestling, anyway recently we got a new hr person and she took me aside after a meeting and was bugging out on me "what are you doing?, are you crazy you'll get sued for sexual harassment" i explained it to her and she told me i need to stop or there will "consequences" in a threatening way. Obviously i am not going to do it anymore but I run a really laid back small organization and im pretty close with most of my employees, so i don't know if i can keep from doing it reflexively.

    Thoughts? am i going to get sued?
     
  2. kcb4316

    kcb4316 New Member

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    I would listen to your HR person. American cultural norms are pretty clear that hand-to-ass contact is off-limits in corporate settings. Sexual harassment law is pretty clear that your intent doesn't matter as much as other people's perceptions of it; if someone is offended or uncomfortable and they can show a pattern of the behavior over time, you'd be screwed. Look at it this way: your HR person trying to protect both the long-term interests of you and the company. (And I say "you," because obviously you'd lose money if you ever got sued).

    That having been said, I do enjoy getting my ass slapped occasionally in social settings :). But there is a time and place for everything.
     
    #2 kcb4316, Sep 3, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2010
  3. red7.5

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    Try "high-fiving" instead.
     
  4. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    You're not Sparky Anderson, stop slapping co-workers on the ass.

    For me, ass slapping is absolutely sexual and not something I want to experience with some random douchebag at work who does not understand boundaries.
     
  5. helgaleena

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    It is sexual for both sexes, unless you are playing football. Even then you might get misunderstood.

    Since you have a relatively small organization, there is a chance you can approach each person you have slapped on the butt in the past and double check with them what they think about it. If the employee truly enjoys getting a butt slap from the boss, go ahead. But do not expect new employees to be fine with it.

    And do not be surprised if some of them admit privately that they think it's a bit too familiar. Even a pat on the back can be too much for some people's comfort. It's called 'personal space' and it is a psychological reality that people can feel violated.
     
  6. LaFemme

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    If someone slapped my ass to "boost moral" he/she is going to draw back a stump! I am a "boss" and as mentioned earlier, even a pat on the back is too much for some. And employees will put up with a lot and pretend to be ok with something even if they are not. Fist bumps, high fives, thumbs up, coffee coupons, hell - even gold stars - but no ass slapping.

    But that's just my opinion :)
     
  7. Zeuhl34

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    When I receive ass-slaps in the context of sports, I dislike it. But then again, I'm just not big on unexpected human contact. I like my space.

    I'd really suggest listening to your HR person.
     
  8. josty

    josty Member

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    People are weird about this kind of thing. I think there's nothing weird about the idea of a non-sexual butt slap. However, not in the work place. It's a very casual, intimate gesture. You (hopefully) probably wont get sued but it would be wise to stop. Ask your HR person whether you should privately apologize to people.
     
  9. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Ass-slapping in the workplace is NOT okay.
     
  10. irox19

    irox19 New Member

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    I used to work in law enforcement (union) and my old boss *almost* gave me an ass slap once but caught himself and said, "I just almost spanked you." lol I don't know what I would have done....I was 24....he was old as hell...I probably would have just laughed it off.
     
  11. hoggindaz

    hoggindaz New Member

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    good point about the pressure, now i wonder if some of them are secretly resenting me lol. To give more context, i am friends with just about everyone i work with and i like to keep a high energy due to our business(sales) running most efficiently that way, usually its just a reflexive thing at the end of a meeting as people are leaving, ill give encouragement and try to keep the team morale up.
     
  12. helgaleena

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    If you are friends with them, check person by person if they are ok with it. Don't simply blanket slap everybody's butt, just the ones that don't mind it.
     
  13. avg_joe

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    Yeah, you would probably be sued for sexual harassment. One of my co-workers used to do that to me, and I grabbed his dick and squeezed it hard as a revenge.
     
  14. D_Ezdras Dingledonger

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    Hehe, maybe that's what he's going for.

    Either way, I can't imagine this being acceptable anywhere. I understand wanting to be close with your coworkers and I think it's great if there's a relaxed atmosphere in your office, but you should probably drop this habit. People get so easily riled up about things these days, not to mention the PC-police that like to do everything by the book. It's a matter of time before you get in trouble for it. You did also get a slap on the wrist by that one chick, so take that as your warning, I guess.
     
  15. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    As a female boss, I have had to be very careful not to get 'touchy-feely' with my male subordinates. Even if you start out as "friends" in the work place, imagine a worst-case scenario, where you have to fire one of these friends. They become resentful at that point and all of a sudden, you have been sexually harassing them this whole time.

    People's attitudes change under different circumstances, and even if they say it's ok now....it may not be tomorrow when you have to play the tough guy.

    Your HR person is there for a reason...and paid to make sure the firm avoids any potential employee liability. Listen! Sounds like he/she knows the business.

    Oh, BTW, I've been told before that the upper arm (from elbow to shoulder) is the SAFE ZONE for touching, if you have to. With me, being a touchy-feely, affectionate type....I try to just pat the upper arm. You can tell whether a person is receptive or not. Usually they will unconsiously (or not) withdraw if they feel their space is being invaded.

    Fancy.
     
  16. D_Relentless Original

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    Its a No-Go. I am a manager and i have to be careful what i am saying;never minding touching or slapping. Take HR advice. Times are hard, people are making all sorts of compensation claims. Besides that, i don't think it is professional.
     
  17. Rikter8

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    No matter what, you have to remind yourself that you are at work in a professional setting. Friends or no friends. You are at work.

    I would apologize and make it known that it was not intended as a sexual advance.
    It's a learning curve for managers with new employees...everybody's different, and you have to accommodate for that.
     
  18. zaragoza

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    That's a definite no,very unprofessional,and someone may take it the wrong way,do it to your friends,work is work,keep it professional.
     
  19. BigDallasDick8x6

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    Let me get this straight -- HR gave you some advice on avoiding a sexual harrassment claim and you are double checking their judgment with the members of a large penis site?? Let that sink in for a minute.
     
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