Not a fan of virgins (women)

[Gecko4lif]

Any other guys here not a fan of virginal women? I mean it isnt like I want a whore or anything but virgins are so much more trouble than they are worth imo. So many more emotions and connections are involved than the typical spontaneous/casual encounter. Thats alot more pressure than needs to be involved in a sexual situation. Im much more the relaxed kind of guy who is more concerned about things being fun rather than perfect.

The reason I bring this up is the girl im currently involved with (I hesitate to use the term girlfriend) has recently dropped a bomb on me that she is a virgin. This really just left me dumbfounded because my typical assumption is that a woman has had enough partner to be comfortable with herself but not enough to where I find it distasteful. Somewhat benefit of the doubt.

Back to the topic I really dont want to be the one to take her virginity because if things dont work out I dont want to be remembered as THAT GUY. It rubs me the wrong way. But at the same time how do you turn something like that down without it being taken the wrong way? Because for one reason or another she REALLY likes me. It seems to be the typical all or nothing response I illicit from women.

Seems like a no win situation for me so which would be the lesser of 2 evils?

 

[galaxus]

Its her life. Let her make her own decisions. Tell her about how you feel. But don't be afraid.

Just have fun.

 

[Intrigue]

I think I understand. You are worried about way too much emotional contact or clinginess that comes with taking a V-card. I personally had a few in highschool, and it wasn't that bad to me, and your right about the attachment. In my experience I have had women become very much emotionally attached. The only part where I'm different is that I would become attached too. I felt a sort of responsibility for taking such a sacred gem and tryed to treat it with respect. Your not into all that and it brings alot of pressure, right ? I am not sure what you can do, but I would definitely hesitate and tell this girl exactly what you want and where you want this relationship to go, if anywhere. Sounds like ya just want to have fun and this doesn't sound like fun at all.

 

[lpsgnoob]

You crazyyy?? Are you telling me that you don't like to pop some cherry?:tongue:Virgins are sexy, so what if they are not skillful in bed?? Big deal.

Just be a generous lover and if you really do love her and if you are really looking for long term relationship then go for it. But if you are just looking for a shag or fuck buddy then be honest with her and tell her what you are after. This way you will avoid any drama and you wont break her heart and you won't be labeled "that guy".

You should consider yourself lucky because this girl likes you and trust you that much to let you take her virginity.:smile:

 

[Bbucko]

I have never had the slightest interest in fucking a virgin of either sex, and never will.

 

[Gecko4lif]

You crazyyy?? Are you telling me that you don't like to pop some cherry?:tongue:Virgins are sexy, so what if they are not skillful in bed?? Big deal.

Just be a generous lover and if you really do love her and if you are really looking for long term relationship then go for it. But if you are just looking for a shag or fuck buddy then be honest with her and tell her what you are after. This way you will avoid any drama and you wont break her heart and you won't be labeled "that guy".

You should consider yourself lucky because this girl likes you and trust you that much to let you take her virginity.:smile:

You make valid points

Looks like it is time for... *blows dusts off big red button* COMMUNICATION!

 

[voodooyoudo]

It's not all it's cracked up to be, and I had good experiences. It's more of an ego trip thing for some guys.

I've had two. One is now my wife and that was A LOT of fun (perverting the "innocent"). The other was a friend who wasn't looking for emotional attachment, just wanted the stigma of being a "virgin" to go away.

 

[alx]

I'm a bit more old skool. I wouldn't fuck a virgin if it meant nothing to me, simply a shag kinda thing.

However if I cared and was genuinely into her then yes i'd happily take her virginity.

So personally if i were in your shoes I wouldn't.

 

[MarkLondon]

I have never had the slightest interest in fucking a virgin of either sex, and never will.

Well someone's gotta do it, lol!

 

[Gecko4lif]

Well someone's gotta do it, lol!

... Thats true.

 

[B_Craiggers]

.

 

[B_Craiggers]

So many more emotions and connections are involved than the typical spontaneous/casual encounter.

You sound like that's what you're actually after... spontaneous / casual encounters.

If she wants to be in a relationship and you're looking for a quick lay, quit stringing her along.

If you're actually interested in her and want to be with her, then just make it as fun as you claim to.

 

[drumstyck]

I'm a bit more old skool. I wouldn't fuck a virgin if it meant nothing to me, simply a shag kinda thing.
However if I cared and was genuinely into her then yes i'd happily take her virginity.

^yep.

in college i had 2 virgin experiences. one, a girl i was close friends with asked me to be her first. we didnt date, but there was an attraction, and she told me she wanted to lose it to someone she trusted. which did put some pressure on me lol. but it was a great experience, i took my time with her, let her set the pace, did whatever she wanted and didnt do what she didnt.

the 2nd virgin, however, turned out to be insane. when i found out she was a virgin, i should've just said "ok, lets stay friends" because as others have said, i was just in it to get some. after learning more, and finding out her only previous boyfriend had been more than twice her age, i should've realized she had some issues and ran.

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

Gecko, you should cut this girl loose. You begrudgingly call her your girlfriend and think of her virginity as a hassle, as you don't want to be "that guy". That tells me that your feelings probably don't go much farther than casual dating and sex, which is okay if she wants the same (but I'm willing to bet she doesn't.)

Let her go so she can lose her virginity to someone that actually wants to be her first and take care of her right. She deserves the dignity.

p.s. I deflowered a male that ended up causing me more trouble than he was ever worth...and he wasn't even my boyfriend.

 

[Wrat]

I actually refused to have sex with a virgin once because I didn't want to be the guy who did it without caring for her. The truth was that I didn't care for her. So, I didn't fuck her.
There are things I congratulate myself for over and over. That's one of them.

 

[D_Cock_Hudson]

It's not something I've never really given much thought to as all my sexual encounters have been with women who I'm sure had a reasonable amount or a lot of sex before meeting me.

 

[rob_just_rob]

I didn't have an issue with it when I was 20-25. Now, it would be a little weird.

What point were you trying to make with this statement?

my typical assumption is that a woman has had enough partner to be comfortable with herself but not enough to where I find it distasteful.

 

[dolfette]

there's a bit of a double standard with virgins.
with women people make a much bigger deal about the emotional side. there's an assumption in our society that she should be with somebody super duper special, who will nurture her and hold her hand. it's almost like we infantalize virgin women, assume they don't always know what's best for them.
but maybe it's fine for some women if they lose it with a guy who means nothing, or a casual fling, a one night stand, or a guy they lust but don't like. maybe some virgins don't expect you to be in love, to maybe even get married, to just be so damn special.

 

[B_Craiggers]

The tone I catch from the OP though is that the woman he's with wants to do this as part of a committed relationship (that he doesn't seem very into himself).

I think it's fine if a woman just wants to get laid, but that doesn't sound like the woman he's referencing in his first post.

 

[dolfette]

The tone I catch from the OP though is that the woman he's with wants to do this as part of a committed relationship (that he doesn't seem very into himself).

I think it's fine if a woman just wants to get laid, but that doesn't sound like the woman he's referencing in his first post.

yeah, i got that.
i was talking in general terms rather than in gecko terms. the OP question seems to have already been answered quite adequately already.