Not a trick, but genuine feelings

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mtsuenigma, May 19, 2010.

  1. mtsuenigma

    mtsuenigma Member

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    So, here's the deal. I was on a national tour last summer, and met this guy, we'll call him Craig. Craig and I became really close over three months, and when it was time for tour to end, we cried, said our goodbyes, and parted ways - me headed to Tennessee, him headed back to Michigan. We've talked online and on the phone ever since, and now more than ever (since that same tour is about to start again, and neither of us will be on it), I find myself thinking about Craig a lot. About the experiences and the laughs we shared. He's even told me he wants me to come up to Michigan to see his new place this summer.

    Here's the catch - he's straight. I've developed feelings for a straight guy, and I don't know what to do about it. I really do like him, and may even be in love with him, and I don't know how to tell him without fucking up our friendship.

    Anyone on here have a similar story to tell? Any response would be GREATLY appreciated!
     
  2. Nickstevens

    Nickstevens New Member

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    Dude, you have a pretty big problem. If he is straight, he is probably friends with you because he likes to hang out with you. If you are going to tell him that you are gay and want him as a lover, unless he is not 100% gay, I think it would backfire big time.

    Are you sure he is not gay, or maybe at least curious. Whatever it may be, try to confirm his sexual orientation for sure before telling him anything. If you have really strong feelings for the guy, just tell him and let what happens happen. Either way, you will be out of a dilemma.
     
  3. Novaboy

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    I too wonder if he is closeted. I can't see most straight guys crying when they say their goodbyes to a friend they have know for a short while. Even keeping up the relationship by phone and email sounds like there could be more here. I also could be completely wrong but those are the thoughts that immediately sprang to mind when I read your original post. Tread carefully and good luck.

    NB
     
  4. mtsuenigma

    mtsuenigma Member

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    He knows that I'm gay - with the tour we were on, we lived in close quarters with 150 other people. We each had air mattresses that always found there way beside each others, and we showered together (along with about 20 other guys usually) daily.
     
  5. lvsxy808

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    This.
     
  6. SpeedoMike

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    can you visit and not expect it to be sexual? if you can then make the visit. otherwise stay home.
     
  7. rugger89

    rugger89 Member

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    im with a couple of other people here...unless hes a super sensitive guy he might actually be gay/bi
     
  8. _LUX_

    _LUX_ Member

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    But then again, he could just be very sensitive. It happens. Or confused about his sexuality. If he knows you're gay I would rather wait until he makes the first move or at least gives you a hint that he's interested, or you'll lose him completely.
     
  9. mtsuenigma

    mtsuenigma Member

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    well, I'm going to be going to visit him in July - we made the plans tonight. He lives in Michigan, and I live in Tennessee, and he's even offered to get a plane ticket for me.
     
  10. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    Play it cool, see what happens. I personally wouldn't go declaring your undying love for him while staying at his house (that could end up messy). He may just be a very emotional straight guy who really values your friendship. When visiting him, he will make it clear if he wishes to act on anything - he knows you're gay so the ball is in his court IMO.

    Have a great time anyway :)
     
  11. MACattack

    MACattack New Member

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    Look, pretty much everything you said points to: "you should tell him how you feel."

    I say this because you sound like a resonable guy that won't overdo your confession. Keep it on the level. Points to note:

    1. He cried: Either he is a super sensitive "straigh"t guy (in which case he should be able to understand your confession without going berserk and it shouldn't ruin the relationship), or he is "gay/bi" and has feelings for you. Either way you should be in the clear with a confession. Reciprocated feelings is another story however.

    2. He knows you are gay and is still inviting you out. He is at least comfortable with your orientation and probably assumes you have some feelings for him. Even if he doesn't, the fact that he's cool with hanging out with you makes it fine for you to confess to him. Once again, don't make it awkward. If he says no, just play it cool. Don't beg or leave or try to convince him. That could hurt the relationship. Just wait till you go home for the night and cry.

    3. It was a short time period to offer to fly a guy out to visit. Even my good and somewhat loaded college friends don't offer to fly me out. I've only ever offered or been offered a plane ticket from family, women/men sexually interested in me and friends from like 3rd grade. And the occasional offer to be in porn.

    4. You have feelings for this guy and have talked to him for quite some time. You are BOUND to have given off some hints to deeper feelings. Either this guy is completely oblivious (which only makes sense if he didn't know you were gay), is a massive tease (in which case you're going to get hurt anyway), wants you too or simply doesn't mind your feelings but also doesn't want to ruin the friendship.

    All in all, I say let him know how you feel. Once again, don't make it awkward. Put it out matter of fact then either be embraced or say ok and go on with the tour.
     
  12. B_dxjnorto

    B_dxjnorto New Member

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    So you're still "gay" if you cry?
     
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