Not enjoying sex

[Gecko4lif]

How come when ever somebody says they dont enjoy sex someone else always chimes in you must not be having good sex then.

Is it so impossible to believe that some people legitimately dont enjoy sex regardless of the quality?

Is it really just that much of an abject alien concept?

 

[Charles Finn]

to those that are horny all the time yes
I have met 2 a sexuals they were not gay as i first thought they were just not interested in sex at all. me I have to jack off at least once a day up to 3 times a day

 

[LaFemme]

Well, I was in a relationship with a man who didn't seem to enjoy sex very much. He thought I was far too oversexed and that bothered him, so he desired sex even less.

I also know many women who say they don't enjoy it - they merely tolerate sex and if they were told they would never have to do it again? They'd be thrilled.

And as someone who has privy to extremely private details of couples (for professional reasons), I know of a few couples who only do it once or twice a year and both feel that is more than enough.

Lots of reasons that people don't enjoy sex - psychological, emotional and physically. Some women (and men) have been helped by testosterone patches or therapy; and others like things the way they are.

So, I think there are people who don't enjoy sex regardless of the quality.

 

[dad4you]

There might be several reasons people don't enjoy sex with others, physical, emotional or spiritual pain. Sometimes it is hormonal, but rarely, mostly I think it is that people don't enjoy intimacy because of some trauma earlier in their lives.

 

[rob_just_rob]

How come when ever somebody says they dont enjoy sex someone else always chimes in you must not be having good sex then.

Most people like to recharacterize other people's preferences in a way that doesn't upset their own worldview.

Is it so impossible to believe that some people legitimately dont enjoy sex regardless of the quality?

Is it really just that much of an abject alien concept?

For some, yes. Alien or threatening.

Whenever I see someone fulminating about how asexuality is bad for a person, and talking about therapy to 'cure' them... I think about how well the attempts to "cure" homosexuals that were so popular 40 years ago, go over now.

 

[RawDog]

I was in an almost sexless marriage for nine years and I could never wrap my mind around the idea of anyone not enjoying sex.

I hope I never understand it.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I find the idea of not enjoying sex completely alien, but I don't judge people on those choices, or think they should come around to my way of thinking - unless they're my partner :biggrin1:

 

[D_Ichabod Longfellow]

im unsure if you could have a partner that did not enjoy sex....

 

[B_subgirrl]

im unsure if you could have a partner that did not enjoy sex....

My ex had almost zero sex drive actually :frown1:

But thanks :biggrin1:

 

[petite]

How come when ever somebody says they dont enjoy sex someone else always chimes in you must not be having good sex then.

Is it so impossible to believe that some people legitimately dont enjoy sex regardless of the quality?

Is it really just that much of an abject alien concept?

My initial reaction is always disbelief, and then I have to think about what I know about what other people have shared about their experiences. It is so alien to my own personal experiences for so long now that it's a foreign idea to me.

I think at least the first dozen times that I had sex I really didn't enjoy the intercourse part of the sex very much. His penis didn't feel like it belonged there and it felt weird. I didn't orgasm, even though I regularly masturbated by myself to orgasm. I suppose there might be some people for whom it's like that. They just don't enjoy it, or maybe there's just no drive for it at all.

Like LaFemme described so well before, I know of couples who have almost no sex and seem to be happy with that, and I've been with a man who seemed so uninterested in sex that I wondered if I never came on to him if we would ever have sex again. He seemed so blase about it that I wondered if he had sex with me just to satisfy me, which negatively affected my ego. I shouldn't have taken it personally at the time. We were probably just incompatible.

Like subgirrl, I don't judge people for feeling that way. There's nothing wrong with it if they're happy with the way that things are. For most people the dissatisfaction seems to come from making one's partner unhappy by having a sex drive that isn't compatible, or sexual interests that don't interest one's partner, and that's when it seems like the issue of how do two people who aren't naturally sexually compatible but love one another and want to be happy together make it work?

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

when the reason for having sex does not come out of pleasure or lust I do not enjoy it. I've been told that if we didnt have sex a lot she thought I would leave her and that is an instant killer

 

[marriedasian]

is it really that hard to believe? i mean some people don't like to kiss and some people don't like to hug. maybe not as major as having sex but it's along the same lines. some guys don't like sports cars and some guys don't like trucks. some girls don't like dressing up and some girls don't like makeup.

if u like sex and u meet someone who doesn't like sex, then i guess you best be moving on.

i feel we always have to accept the fact that anything is possible.

 

[SpeedoMike]

ask a few middle-aged women what they think about their partner's sex drive.

 

[Hoss]

How come when ever somebody says they dont enjoy sex someone else always chimes in you must not be having good sex then.

Is it so impossible to believe that some people legitimately dont enjoy sex regardless of the quality?

Is it really just that much of an abject alien concept?

It's completely understandable. Everybody is different and unique and has their own things which make them feel happy&good. I have been iin sexual encounters which really weren't enjoyable. I may have had a split second tingle at orgasm where it felt decent, like scratching an itch it wasn't what I'd term enjoyable.

It's like people that are dumbfounded when a person says theyy don't like chocolate or pizza, they can't believe that, the same happens with sex.

 

[rob_just_rob]

It's also possible that the person in question has other priorities that make sex relatively unimportant to them.