not liking oral sex

NotSoDumb_Blonde

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I feel put out if a playmate dislikes performing cunnilingus on me.
I go out of my way to use all my skills to make him happy orally and, yes, I do enjoy it but part of me hopes to inspire a playmate to at least equal my efforts in South Belly Button.

I have let a playmate go who looked upon the whole idea of cunnilingus as some sort of sufferance he had to endure in order to get to the ...ahem..."good stuff".
How the hell am I suppose to feel good, let alone suppose to get off on that?

Exactly -- how are you supposed to feel good about yourself if someone doesn't feel they shouldn't be there for you? Especially something so sensitive.

I've been in a relationship where the sex was ....not good. I tried all kinds of things to help us out, even 'stuck it out' because I thought ending our relationship because the sex was horrible was kinda....not cool. (hard to explain) But, in the end? It bloody killed every part of what had started out as a great friendship. I can't -- even now -- stand the person. Uck.

It was important life lesson. You have to say what you need. If the other person can't give you that? You have to move on. *shrug*

Good luck
 

1958ST

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Physical intimacy is such a large part of a long-term relationship to me. If these items are not agreed upon then I don't think a relationship exists. If terms change during the relationship, such as smaller boobs, then there must be an agreement on how to handle the situation.

Don't people talk anymore?

Right on Miss Ellie: talk it out. The longer the relationship forseen, the more the talk is needed even the conclusion to agree to disagree for the moment. There is a lot of give and take in relationships, trial and error in practice. If one partner agrees to give something a try and then says not again or even backs out half way, then if you really have a relationship talk some more and wait.

My love has always orally caressed my dick and ball effectively and for long periods of time, just as I have tongued her. But she did not want to receive a load in her mouth. On our 1st aniversary she agreed to for me and gagged. She did not want to try it again. OK, it is a partnership of sharing desires so we did what we both enjoyed orally. Now thirty years later all of a sudden after all our our oral sex leading up to intercourse or just by itself, my love has decided that there are nights when her arousal is such that she wants to take my withdrawn head to orally clean. Great! I reciprocate. But the point of the story is that tastes (uh oh did I say that) change. Favorite positions, favorite actions, can change in a long terms relationship. They can change as much as the type of vegatables you eat or seasoning you like.

The relationship makes the sex hot. Relationships are built by talking things out.
 

IlovePussy420

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Yes, you could make a "dental dam" out of a condom. Saran wrap won't do shit It has microscopic pores in it that render it useless for this.

But honestly... ladies, have you ever had anyone pull out a dental damn or a condom and a pair of scissors before going down on you? and how did/would you react to that?
 

MickeyLee

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urm, respectfully?
:confused:



not gonna take it as a personal insult "ohhh, girl, you dirty!" thang
is gonna be more "yeah... i do this with everyone.. better safe than blistery"

if the person bothered enough to use party plastic wrap in festive colors i'd appreciate the extra effort :wink:
 

Daisy

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Sexual chemistry (for me) is a very important fundamental aspect to a relationship. So, if sex and sexual intimacy including oral sex is a vital part to a relationship to that person, then yes, it's a valid reason to break up if those needs are not met.

For me, if I was with a man who wouldn't let me suck his cock daily, that'd be a dealbreaker. My needs to please him wouldn't be met. Just so you look at it in a different way. I would feel rejected.

If you're not having great sexual chemistry and great sex, then what's the point?

We are all snowflakes...and what not. ;)

What she said. I wouldnt date a guy who didnt want to have his penis constantly played with, or daily blowjobs or whatever else I wanted to do to it. There are times when a guy may be tired and that's fine but if he was always turning me away when I wanted to whip it out..that wouldnt work for me at all.
 

justacynic

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nonsense! sexual compatibility is of great importance to many people. constantly feeling a lack of fulfilment can lead to resentment, which is toxic in any relationship.

a person who i love but who is not sexually compatible with me is a friend. that's not a rejection or a criticism. it's merely fitting the person to the right role in my life.

Amen.
 

OhWiseOne

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As has been stated it comes down to how important oral is. Some see it as a deal breaker, I personally don't.
I enjoy giving oral but I'm not going to "force" it on anyone.
*side note* just discussed giving oral last night. :tongue:
 

B_ILIW

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if society thought oral sex wasn't normal you'd never want a blowjob again, for the rest of your life? :rolleyes:

society sets a broad standard. individuals set their boundaries. :smile:
society says it's customary *and is what to Do Bees Do* to respect personal boundaries. :wink:


*don't be a Don't Bee*
buzz.

heh, yeah, like how society says it's wrong to have sex with animals and most don't. or it's wrong to have sex in a crowded public place, and most don't. :wink: to say society never impacts on sexual norms is just PC idiocy, and nobody ever does what society says is right....
 

MickeyLee

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heh, yeah, like how society says it's wrong to have sex with animals and most don't. or it's wrong to have sex in a crowded public place, and most don't. :wink: to say society never impacts on sexual norms is just PC idiocy, and nobody ever does what society says is right....

my not fucking fido has nothing to do with society thinking bestiality is icky. *blech face*
my not fucking in crowded public spaces has nothing to do with society handing out court dates :tongue1:

is pretty much my complete lack of desire to be overly friendly with man's best friend. or to get my freaky on center stage at the local mall's food court. :rolleyes:

social/cultural acceptability is all about permissiveness. not desire/impulse/urges.

personal tastes/interests are mad subjective. all up to interpretation of ways and mores. is more the value an individual puts on conformity?

my sexual tastes lean to the socially unacceptable - there will be blood, bruises, welts and bite marks. i'm not going to not get my swerve on cuz survey says "80%" on the matter of randoms disapproving of my appetites.
 

dolfette

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my sexual tastes lean to the socially unacceptable - there will be blood, bruises, welts and bite marks. i'm not going to not get my swerve on cuz survey says "80%" on the matter of randoms disapproving of my appetites.
ditto

most people witnessing my sex life would say it was abusive. even the hardcore bdsm brigade would take the lack of safewords as a major issue.

'normal' isn't an issue.
 

ladyfairlane

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I wouldn't dump anyone who wouldn't give me oral, as I'm not really a huge fan of it and would rather move on to more stimulating activities. (Please guys, no "you just haven't experienced MY skills" crap.)

However, if the guy I was seeing wouldn't let me go down on HIM, that would be a MAJOR disappointment. Maybe not break-up worthy, but a big bummer for sure.
 

B_ILIW

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my not fucking fido has nothing to do with society thinking bestiality is icky. *blech face*
my not fucking in crowded public spaces has nothing to do with society handing out court dates :tongue1:

is pretty much my complete lack of desire to be overly friendly with man's best friend. or to get my freaky on center stage at the local mall's food court. :rolleyes:

social/cultural acceptability is all about permissiveness. not desire/impulse/urges.

personal tastes/interests are mad subjective. all up to interpretation of ways and mores. is more the value an individual puts on conformity?

my sexual tastes lean to the socially unacceptable - there will be blood, bruises, welts and bite marks. i'm not going to not get my swerve on cuz survey says "80%" on the matter of randoms disapproving of my appetites.

Your incoherent post notwithstanding, it's a fact there are socially accepted sexual acts, which you seem to refute for some reason. Being PC and saying "everything's subjective!" doesn't negate that.

Whatever, my subjective opinion is that in modern society not liking oral is backward. everything is subjective after all.
 

MickeyLee

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do you know what PC means?
cuz i ain't being PC :confused:
maybe ya just like typing PC.

the rest of ya contribution to this thread...

being a sex bully is uber pathetic :smile:
trying to justify being a sex bully... maybe a sign of a personality disorder. something ya should look into.


eta: society's acceptance doesn't obligate an interest.
i'm not saying acceptability doesn't influence a person's sexual willingness to experiment. i am saying thumbs up from the statu quo isn't gonna make a person like something.

oral sex being socially acceptable =/= obligation to like oral sex
 
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aninnymouse

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ARE there guys out there who really don't like getting a BJ?

To my own personal experience, virtually all the guys I've met are big fans of getting oral. Giving, especially to women, it varies, but, most all guys I know like getting head.

For some people, both male and female, there's the connotation that it's dirty, and that they don't like fluids in their mouth, and I've heard some women say they don't care for it because it's too intense for them, but otherwise, it's a natural part of many peoples' sex lives.
 

B_ILIW

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do you know what PC means?
cuz i ain't being PC :confused:
maybe ya just like typing PC.

the rest of ya contribution to this thread...

being a sex bully is uber pathetic :smile:
trying to justify being a sex bully... maybe a sign of a personality disorder. something ya should look into.


eta: society's acceptance doesn't obligate an interest.
i'm not saying acceptability doesn't influence a person's sexual willingness to experiment. i am saying thumbs up from the statu quo isn't gonna make a person like something.

oral sex being socially acceptable =/= obligation to like oral sex

I'm not advocating bullying anybody.

My basic point is that given the normalcy of oral sex in modern society, I find it weird that somebody would have aversions to it. though to you this concept is offensive, we are influenced by our environment, culture and surroundings. I can understand if people 100 years ago disliked it, that was a different society with different values after all. I can also understand if one lives in Iran, India, Africa, or a generally conservative region of the world.

And you can say again that "sex tastes are subjective!" which is obviously true, but like in all things it's tempered by general attitudes. as a tangent, we accept some people can be racist or sexist, but it doesn't mean we condone or encourage those acts.
 
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