Not made to be bottoming?

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Joseph, Sep 5, 2010.

  1. Joseph

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    Ok I already did have sex one time... and it wasn't that pleasant, but I kept thinking I’d get better at it, I’d get used to the taste of cock in my mouth etc.

    But today, for the first since a long while I did finger myself. I did kinda enjoy it, but it was a bit painful as it’s still not used. I also really always feel like shitting and peeing when I shove it up there, regardless of not needing to at all. Also later for longer time I do sometimes get a sudden urge to shit like hell, as if I had diarrhea, but then I fart and all is gone. Sometimes I can’t fart and really go to the toilet and nothing comes out.

    I did wonder if such problems can be normal and asked my friend who’s a 100% bottom, he’s really surprised to hear stuff like that and he has no problems like that at all… He even said that I might not be a bottom at all. I always thought I was versatile, but I already was disappointed of giving a blow job, so maybe…. I’m not the right guy to be fucked either…

    I don’t know, is my friend right and I might not be the guy for it, or is it just lack of experience ?
     
  2. AngelComa

    AngelComa New Member

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    Look at it this way...bottoming is a skill just like anything else. You've got to give your body time to get accustomed to it before you really enjoy it. Learning to walk isn't something you learn over nite. Give it time, and keep trying. Besides, you'll enjoy it more later since a sacrafice is being made to make it work
     
  3. husky14620

    husky14620 New Member

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    Perhaps you're meant to be a top?
     
  4. Joseph

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    thanks for the replies !
    Oh boy, a shame both are contraditory!

    That's what I think... either it's me lacking experience or just being made for topping only!
     
  5. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Also, realise that there is a difference between stimulation with a finger and stimulation with a penis. With a finger you mostly push on your prostate, that gives the feeling that you need to use the loo. But with a penis inside, there is friction, it rubs the prostate (it doesn't push on it) and gives a whole other sensation, far more intense then just using your finger.
    So I would say: find that out, use lots of lube and enjoy it.
     
  6. Joseph

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    Ahhh so it is a lot different.... I see...
     
  7. Bbucko

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    Like the difference between feeding yourself an hors d'oeuvre and being fed a turkey dinner :cool:

    I learned, after several years of frustration, that being gay and bottoming are not synonymous. Why do something that causes more pain than pleasure?

    I would at least attempt mastery at sucking cock, however. You've really gotta bring more than a hardon to bed.
     
  8. dad4you

    dad4you Member

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    The world doesn't have enough tops.. just enjoy that role :biggrin1:
     
  9. BareBottom1980

    BareBottom1980 New Member

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    Agreed.
     
  10. Shawn152

    Shawn152 Member

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    Seriously I have this same problem. It's a pain in the ass too(no pun intended) so I just gave up after awhile the times I have had sex since I have been the top(although I'm a bottom at heart) anything up my ass just feels really uncomfortable. So uncomfortable I haven't ever even been able to find my prostate. It's been almost two years since I tried bottoming. I wanted to try again so I bought a vibrator ( I bought a big one thinking it would help reach the p-spot) but it had the same result. I don't know why It's so uncomfortable but you are not the only one
     
  11. CuriousFem

    CuriousFem Active Member

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    When I first started bottoming (as a teenager), I found it physically uncomfortable but also wildly erotic. I wanted to do it again and again, and eventually got past the discomfort.

    I also found out that if I'm not fucked for a long time (say, some weeks) then I have to get back in practice with small/medium dildos before I take a big dick. Well, the practice isn't essential, but it avoids a few minutes of initial discomfort.

    I've noticed, though, that some tops really like to see the discomfort when they enter. Those guys seem disappointed when you don't gasp and make them stop and wait for you to get used to their size. It deprives them of the chance to pin your wrists to the bed and say "You'll take it at whatever speed I'm giving it to you, punk." Or whatever.

    HB
     
  12. tgirlsrgreat

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    that just sounds sadistic. why would anyone put up with that? male or female, gay or straight or inbetween?
     
  13. crescendo69

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    Pleasure and pain are one and the same..:tongue:

    Butt, seriously..:wink:

    I've found more pleasure in anal sex when with a compassionate partner who was slow at first. Even the huge ones, if done with care, did not hurt (much).

    Another solution to pain is to straddle him as he lies on his back, so you can control the speed, amount, and force of entry.
     
  14. tgirlsrgreat

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    i have been with gals who are just tops, just bottoms and those are great, all different shapes and sizes, but i prefer versatile, the whole (or hole) experience as it were.
     
  15. henry777

    henry777 Well-Known Member

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    You can't rush as a bottom (or a bottom wannabe). Lots of time, lube, and patients. Start small and work your way up. Try a small size dildo first then graduate to a larger one. When I first started bottoming, I would give myself enemas to get used to the feeling of "fullness" in side of me. Hope that helps. :)
     
  16. PornForPatric

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    Preparation is key. You can't just stick a finger or dick inside and expect it is gonna be an instant orgasm. Next time you're jacking off, play with your hole a bit. Don't go straight to sticking a finger in. Tease your hole a bit and work up to the point you begin to finger yourself. Oh, and do not clench. That will definitely make it an uncomfortable experience. The trick is learning to relax, open up a bit and let things happen.

    This video might be helpful:

    PapiFachero's Videos
     
  17. TriJacket

    TriJacket New Member

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    This is definitely a skill. I enjoy it a lot with my partner, but it takes some work, and if I haven't been "practicing" lately, I can't take it for long.

    As long as you want to bottom, you're patient, and you ease off at discomfort, you should be able to learn to relax. Two books I've skimmed through that might help you out are "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men" and "Anal Pleasure & Health." If you don't have a gay bookstore in the area and aren't lucky enough to find a Barnes & Noble that keeps it in stock, Amazon has it.
     
  18. D_Edwin Eatser

    D_Edwin Eatser New Member

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    Tried it, don't like it physically or mentally. But I do love being a top!
     
  19. CuriousFem

    CuriousFem Active Member

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    Haha, I didn't mean it to be taken too literally. For some, including me, the role play of the dominant top and the submissive bottom is pretty hot. If my partner did what I wrote, though, he wouldn't actually shove it in fast. He can tell when I'm hurting.

    Letting him pin my wrists down is a way of giving up control, and you have to trust someone before you give them that control.

    But now we are on a different topic. :biggrin1:

    On the original topic: It is important to be in control as you experiment bottoming. As others have mentioned, you must relax in order to do it, and if you are stressed at all, you can't relax your ass. If you are in control of the depth and speed of penetration, it's easier to stay relaxed.

    Practicing alone with toys is good practice. You'll quickly figure out what it takes to get relaxed and stay that way, and how quickly or slowly you need to work up from small toys or fingers to larger things.

    HB
     
  20. D2DChi

    D2DChi New Member

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    I agree with everyone's advice - it definitely takes some practice.

    I found it was always best when learning how to bottom to start with some fingers, then progress to a toy, then progress to the real thing. The time of progression could be over as long or as short of a time as you want and feel comfortable with.

    I always prefer to start on top (with the guy on his back) so that I am in control. Don't skimp on the lube and relax - odds are you will learn to love it!
     
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