not out isn't easy.

dontclickhere

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I'm not open about being into guys at all and don't plan on changing that. I'm into hooking up.. I look often, but it's really rare that I come across a decent guy to hang out with.


Tried apps like grinder, and scruff and other sites. doesn't seem to be many decent guys on any of them though. I expected there would be a lot more curious/open minded guys out there, but i come across the same profiles no matter what site or app.

I do have high standards, but I'm not particular at all. I could go anywhere and lose count of how many guys I see around and wouldn't mind hooking up with.

Can't say the same when it comes to any online profiles though.
guess the question is: am I looking for good times in the wrong places?
 

D_Dawn_Hoe

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I am the same way, I even tried craiglist with a personal add but i always seem to get responses form people i am not attracted to "at all" I guess my standards are to high also, but i feel if they take care of the way they look then they take care of their body to and i consider this to be a safe act. I have looked at all teh same sites as you and see the same people (in my area ) too. But it is like you say - i can go to Lowes, or wal-mart or menards and i see nice looking guys all the time, and I even run ito them several time in the same store just to see if they take a second look. some do, some dont. I dont know what the answer is...lower our standards and take what comes?? or wait and maybe a good one will come along...
 
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Otep

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Well when you're using services like that you need to take what you can get. Some of the larger ones have a huge number of members but not everyone enjoys using them. A lot of people will only browse profiles and not actually pursue others even if their profile says otherwise.

There's also the possibility that the guys you're into are there, they just are into you. Since you aren't out I'm guessing you don't have a picture of yourself posted and open. Many people, even those who only have something like a torso picture posted, will breeze right by profiles that don't have open pictures. (This is just what I've gathered, I'm obviously not sitting and studying the behavior of people from a corner in their room or something).
 

D_Dawn_Hoe

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Otep, you are onto something tho. I have never posted a face pic before(until here) and I got some great responses to it...too bad I live on the north edge of the earth and all the guy looking at me are on the other end, bud it does say something about what you said. I am just not that into it to post my pics on those sites tho. not ready to go souly m/m just looking for some masc bonding time and frot- which is so damn hot....lol
 

baimbyte

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The Apps are sucks most of the time. but they are hookup apps. so lower your standard to the lowest I guess.

Sometimes, it is your current location too.

But don't be despair, you will find someone you would like...maybe on LPSG.
 
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Otep

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Otep, you are onto something tho. I have never posted a face pic before(until here) and I got some great responses to it...too bad I live on the north edge of the earth and all the guy looking at me are on the other end, bud it does say something about what you said. I am just not that into it to post my pics on those sites tho. not ready to go souly m/m just looking for some masc bonding time and frot- which is so damn hot....lol

Location definitely plays a part as well. Are you near the Twin Cities? I can imagine it would be a little more difficult elsewhere in Minnesota. I certainly would expect the same thing in northern Wisconsin (and thankfully I'm in south eastern Wisconsin).
 

Fenris11

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It may also be to do with the APPs and sites you are using.
At least 90% of men who are online - Craigslist, Grinder, Gaydar etc etc are just looking for sex.
You want to look for genuine dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, Match.com etc.
Also, I know it is not easy, but if you could be more open with people about yourself/sexuality and show you are comfortable with yourself and confident you will find people will be more attracted to you.
You never find someone saying they find someone who is not confident and hiding who they really are as attractive qualities. I know this is much easier said than done, but like other threads on here, it is about accepting yourself and being confident in your self before anyone else can accept and be confident in you.

I hope this helps :smile:
 

baimbyte

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I think nowadays with more apps to hook up, people are getting less friendly and become more rigid.

I really missed the good old days of early internet. Where gay guys and gals chatted via IRC and WBS.net just to find more gay friends and later hooked up if clicked.

I have been using internet since 1997 (right after secondary school) and I have seen the changes of gays' attitude online from year to year. Even the friendship/pen pal websites are sucks nowadays.
 

concupisys

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i can agree with baimbyte about gay social sites being all about sex and nothing else.... it's very frustrating to not have anywhere online that gay guys can just meet and have a conversation without it having to be all sex-charged or about hooking up.... this site is about the only one i come to where i can actually 'socialize' with other gay guys....
 

D_Dawn_Hoe

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Location definitely plays a part as well. Are you near the Twin Cities? I can imagine it would be a little more difficult elsewhere in Minnesota. I certainly would expect the same thing in northern Wisconsin (and thankfully I'm in south eastern Wisconsin).

Yea, i live in northern MN in a smaller town, it is pretty difficult here- and your right if i lived in the cities it would be much easier

Nice Pics dude ... but MN is so far from So. CA...

Thanks Supersb, you too, i can't believe you actually got your out thru you pocket...lol nice stretch job- also like the abs you are displaying.


It may also be to do with the APPs and sites you are using.
At least 90% of men who are online - Craigslist, Grinder, Gaydar etc etc are just looking for sex.
You want to look for genuine dating sites such as Plenty of Fish, Match.com etc.
Also, I know it is not easy, but if you could be more open with people about yourself/sexuality and show you are comfortable with yourself and confident you will find people will be more attracted to you.
You never find someone saying they find someone who is not confident and hiding who they really are as attractive qualities. I know this is much easier said than done, but like other threads on here, it is about accepting yourself and being confident in your self before anyone else can accept and be confident in you.

I hope this helps :smile:

Feniris; you make very good points... about being comfortable and confident... ,and i do need to work on it.....words well put and very sound advice.
 

D_Charlie_Chapedlips

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I'm out but I've run into a lot of guys on Manhunt who aren't. Might be worth checking out if you've tied lots of other sites and can't find someone who fits with what you're looking for / your desired level of discretion.
 

baimbyte

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In my case, I have a profile on Scruff and I found 2 nice guys (a Canadian & a French) who are not looking for hookups. We have been friends. One funny thing about scruff, I never found anyone near that is interested. And sometimes the nearest available are 700++ KM away. IMC, I need a flight to go there. So most apps, don't really work for me.
 

SR_Schlong_Dong_Silver

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This is a difficult one. I am of the generation who knew life before the internet, so the only way to meet people was to go to gay clubs and do it for real. I stopped doing that after age 30 because of the fact that I could never get a decent pint and that the music was too loud to talk (and dreadful) and it was all just a bit shallow. The whole style and culture of the places also only attracted a certain kind of bloke and it all seemed a bit one-dimensional. I suppose internet or real time searching both have their limitations. I have a much better time in local (straight) pubs and when I do come across gay men -which happens- we're more likely to hit it off because we're both in a place we chose to go to rather than had no choice but to go to and we usually have much more in common.
 
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