not ready to be back

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by tallguypns, Dec 25, 2006.

  1. tallguypns

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    Friends, aquaintances, enemies and strangers.

    I have slowly been popping back in, and testing the water here. I left for several reasons, most of which have to do with my own attitude and thoughts. I've spent some time in the chat. I've read and replied to a few threads. Here's what i've learned. I'm not ready to be back here yet. Alex8 can probably attest to that since he received a nasty pm from me recently, through no fault of his own. My own rotten attitude and behavior is still quite evident on several threads and in the chat room. It would be best for me, and you as well, if I did not make my return yet. I only do this to preserve what few friendships I have left. I'm certain that the vast majority of people haven't even read this thread or even know or care who I am, but I owe it to my friends anyway to keep you apprised.

    As I did when I left before, I will leave my external contact information for those that wish to stay in contact.

    Pray for me.
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    You silly ass. :tongue:
     
  3. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Yeah, I second that.

    Tallguy, no-one sees you anywhere near as harshly as you see yourself. I wish you could move beyond that, I really do... and you might realize what a great person you are. As for your posts on threads since you returned... they're all just harmless one-liners, as far as I can discern.

    And as for the 'nasty PM' (which I have literally read a few seconds ago)... jeez, if you hadn't sent a follow-up PM apologizing for it, I would never have recognized it as a supposedly 'nasty PM'. :rolleyes: 13 words, and none of them 'off'? Tsk, you should see some of the bona fide nasty PMs that get passed around here!! :rolleyes: Heck, you even used 'hyperbole' as one of your 13 words... definitely not a 'nastygram'.

    But take whatever extra time you need... and remember, remember, remember, that people see you as a great funny guy here.. only you see yourself as the purveyor of ill-feeling and negativity.
     
  4. Aquatar

    Aquatar New Member

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    I agree with Alex8. I had the chance to talk to you today and yesterday and you were really nice to me. I really enjoyed the talk we had together and would like to talk to you more.

    Give yourself a chance and take the time you need to deal with whatever you feel like you need to deal with. When you return, you will have friends waiting for you.

    Alex
     
  5. dannymawg

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    I just spent the better part of an hour searching your posts.

    You need to stay, dude - all the answers I need are in responses to your posts/threads :biggrin1:

    Fer crissakes, you started a deprecation thread! You can't bail now!
     
  6. Onslow

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    I havee a feeling more people know and like you than you are aware of. Think back to some of the thijngs I have said and done here and then realize the caring and support I got when I was crashing down and being extremely rude and mean to everyone. From what I have seen of you here, you are much more loved and wanted than I ever was and are definitely a big part of this board. You have posted important and helpful info rmation don't deny us all more of that.

    Visit in silence if need be and post as you see fit just don't abandon us since I have abandonment issues,
     
  7. tallguypns

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    And this is precisely my problem. This is the demon which tortures my very soul constantly. This is why I must work on myself.
     
  8. roosevelt

    roosevelt New Member

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    I look forward to your return, whenever it is!

    Take care man!
     
  9. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Most or some of us will still be here to welcome you back when you decide to return, T. Treat yourself well. John
     
  10. joyboytoy79

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    I misses you... and i barely got a chance to meet ya... But i'll be here when you're ready.

    *luvvins*

    ~Tylen
     
  11. bluekarma

    bluekarma Well-Known Member

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    It takes time tallguy. I struggle with the very same affliction. Hope I'm not out of line here but all I can say is make the changes you feel necessary until you feel good about you. Then and only then can you be a part of something bigger. People can tell you - your great the way you are, don't worry about it, we love you...etc. However if you don't feel that way inside, those words mean very little (however heartfelt they are spoken from the people you love, admire). I struggle everyday with my self image trying to be the person on the outside that I am on the inside. For some it comes easily, for others it is a skill to be mastered. One things for sure though, even though you have to figure it out on your own, internally, that doesn't mean you don't need your friends or whatever support system you trust to lean on. I'm sure you know all of this.....I just wanted you to know your not alone, and that it does get better when you focus and get to the bottom of it. Good luck, from what I've seen on these boards you are a beautiful person, inside and out........
     
  12. fortiesfun

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    We'll welcome you back with open arms when you are ready. Until then, if there is anything that I can do to help, feel free to write. I've got lots of experience with folks struggling with depression, and willing to help sort through anyone's demons if desired.
     
  13. tallguypns

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    OK, after some serious thought, here's what I decided to do. I'll continue to log in here and read, but I'll keep my figurative mouth shut for a while, except for in the chat room where none of my stupid thoughts, and actions will be remembered, except by those whom I offend. Thank you kind folks who have encouraged me. Holidays are especially rough for me.
     
  14. Onslow

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    Just as long as you don't disapppear completely--I know I'm repeating myself but I adore the sound of my fingers hitting the typing keys.
     
  15. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    You pick the way you want to be here, tall, just be here.
     
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