Not shy but...can't get hard?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by everyday_regular, Oct 9, 2011.

  1. everyday_regular

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    I'm a fairly open 21 year old guy. I'm not shy, I love being naked and I'm totally comfortable with my size. However I've noticed that I find it quite difficult to maintain an erection at times when others are around.

    I've never been in a situation where I've had to get it hard in front of anyone except during sex - however even then I find it difficult to maintain, particularly when I put on a condom. It's not like I don't feel sexual, I literally just can't get more than a semi.

    It's not only limited to erections - I can't really use urinals because the second I flop out my cock it's like I've lost the ability to pee.

    This also happens when I'm alone sometimes, for example when I was taking pictures to put on this site. I'd get rock hard but then the second I lifted the camera, I started going limp again.

    Is it nerves? Am I covering up true shyness? What is it?
     
  2. B_dailymale

    B_dailymale New Member

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    try viagra or one of the herbal equivalents!
     
  3. everyday_regular

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    Isn't it a bit early for that? And where on earth would I get it from?
     
  4. Deve1opment

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    If you can get a good stiff erection then it looks like the mechanics of it are working fine in which case its more likely to be more about getting turned on and about the mental side of it all. Maybe try a cockring - I love mine and it keeps me really hard. But if you're worried then the best advice is go talk to your GP.
     
  5. MickeyLee

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    you might have a terrible case of the shy.
    and if you don't, ya penis does :smile:
    worrying about an attack of shy makes the shy worse.

    *ponders* the folks ya nuding down with, ya have a connect/trust with them? or ya talking just randoms?

    seems like a few positive experiences with someone you have a good connection/can trust would so a long way toward easing ya mind.. and tempering ya shy.
    validation and reinforcement can be awesome.

    physically ya good, erections are easy to come by in the right setting.. so avoiding any type of med/herbal supplements is probably a good idea.
     
  6. everyday_regular

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    Thanks. The few experiences have kind of been halfway - met the girls, talked to them a few times, built up a little flirty friendship and then had sex with them.

    I do wonder whether it would be a different story with a random girl or even a guy...
     
  7. jojolongdong

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    It's normal and I would say it's part of the experience of being a man.
    I have it too, it happened when I was your age (at times) and caused me temporary anxiety too.... but we aren't machines.
    You are a complex and highly sophisticated individual and have a lifetime ahead to get to know yourself.
    Accept it and it ceases to be a problem......
    I would also say be very careful about taking action on advice from strangers.
     
  8. Otep

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    I realize that the thread is a little old but I just wanted to mention that I have this problem with webcams and pics as well. I can sit watching webcams and be rock hard and then the second I click to turn my cam on it starts to go away. For the most part I need to have something one on one for it to come back or I need to have my laptop next to me with a video playing or something.
     
  9. Countryguy63

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    Yep, and to add to that,,,I have no clue how folks show on cam, stay hard, and hold conversations, all at the same time??

    I so admire special talents :wink:
     
  10. mandoman

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    The pee shyness is easily fixed.
    Do math in your head at the urinal. The mind can only keep track of one thought at a time. All the negative crosstalk will disappear, and you will pee freely, whenever you need to.
    I was the worst.
    It hasn't been a problem in decades, since I learned that trick.
     
  11. Frodo46888

    Frodo46888 Active Member

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    I think it's all in the general category of "performance anxiety". It's apparently psychological, not physical - though anything that makes the physical acts (peeing, erection) easier can't hurt. Where you get the psychological support is your choice.
     
  12. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Since you are able to get Mr. Penis up, it's probably psychological. With the right person, in the right setting, when you feel comfortable with her/him, you'll hopefully get so caught up in the moment that you don't even think about it. And even if that's not the case, no worries, tis not a machine with an on/off button you have to flip a switch on. No one expects you to stay rockhard for three hours in a row! (Only porn actors 'have' to do that and they mostly do get a little Viagra-help.)

    So don't worry about it, and just go with the moment. :)
     
  13. svrocks

    svrocks Well-Known Member

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    It's in your head, not your penis. If you've cum prematurely once or twice, for whatever reasons, you're inevitably thinking in the back of your head whether you're going to cum too quickly again. Same thing goes with your case I think. You're probably, however subconciously, hoping the same thing won't happen again. And, believe it or not, this is more than enough to guarantee it happens again.

    As xX_Sarah_Xx puts it, just go with the moment and all should be fine. Once you can keep it up once or twice or you can piss at the urinal once or twice you'll gradually get back to your normal self.

    Best of luck, mate. :wink:
     
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