Not That Anyone Would, But...

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Bbucko, Aug 29, 2010.

  1. Bbucko

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    It's no secret I've worked in a gay bar in Ft Lauderdale now off and on for the last four years; my current position puts me front-and-center with the customers on a continual basis, six nights per week.

    As such, I get asked a whole lot of stupid questions, most of which I answer affably and with the understanding that an out-of-towner unfamiliar with the lay of the land (and specific ordinances) feels comfortable enough in my presence to ask things he probably wouldn't if he hadn't already consumed his fourth or fifth cocktail (my place of employment is notorious for its heavy pouring). But one question, which I get with monotonous regularity, gets my blood boiling:

    "Hey, dude (guy/bud), you know where I can score some coke/party favors [usually Meth]?"

    This grates on my last gay nerve for several reasons:

    1) It presumes that I am either a user or a dealer or have them among my intimates;

    2) It presumes that I'm dumb enough to trust that he's not a Narc;

    3) It presumes that such illicit drugs are sold openly in public establishments here;

    4) It presumes that I am unaware of the heavy surveillance of the police at my (or any other) bar;

    5) It presumes that I'd imperil the livelihood of the entire staff and would risk closing the bar though a raid;

    6) It presumes, more generally, that, because I work in a bar, that I must be some sort of criminal/marginal person.

    My response never varies:

    "No, I don't. And even if I did, which is fucking weird assumption on your part, I'd never risk my job or the liquor license of this place by scoring you any.

    "Take this advice to heart immediately: NEVER, ever ask any bar employee that question again; I'm gonna presume that you're just too ignorant to understand how deeply insulting your question is on so many levels.

    "If I see or hear of your asking anyone else, I'll have security remove you immediately."

    Then, to soften what is inevitably a highly defensive response, I shift gears slightly:

    "If you want to score anything, go online: you can find anything you want in fewer than fifteen minutes if you know how to ask and whom to ask it from. Stay away from street dealers...get away from my station now and don't return."

    Just a word to the wise: do whatever shit you want, it's really none of my business or concern. But never, ever try and score drugs of any kind in a bar, whether it's just weed or something else. It marks you as an asshole, will likely get you thrown out (if not arrested) and is just a dumb-ass thing to do. I'm hardly a prohibitionist of any kind or stripe, but I'm also intolerably allergic to stupid.

    Not that anyone here would, but...don't :cool:
     
  2. Drifterwood

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    Two off 5000 I see.
     
  3. superbot

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    "FUCK OFF" would have done the job in half the time!!
     
  4. Bbucko

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    Now it's one off :wink:
     
  5. Bbucko

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    Yeah, but I'm a wordy kinda guy, even IRL: 5000 attained.
     
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