Not the classic profile of what the ladies want...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pornographicpoet, Dec 3, 2008.

  1. pornographicpoet

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    So, I think I have a lot going for me, maybe? I've been told I'm a very talented poet and I have performed and published some of my works. I'm definitely above average in terms of my cock (7 inch long. 2 inch diameter. If it's 2 inches in diameter then to get circumference you multiply by Pi (3.14) right? Excuse me I'm a teacher, heh. So, that's probably like 6 1/4 thick? But when I tried to circle around my cock it was only 6 inch around. Still, I've been told I'm very thick). I'm also fairly intelligent but smart enough to know that the weekends are a time to get completely blitzed on whiskey not pore through Dostoyevsky and Camus, or even Bukowski.

    However, I have minimal success with women. My salary is a joke (45k) as a teacher. I live with my parents (big turnoff, huge turnoff, what do they expect? to fuck when my parents are at the sizzler?). I'm bipolar. I'm very hirsute and I also wear glasses and can revert to being a nice guy and we all know no women wants a nice guy to stick it in. No one wants to make love they want to fuck. Every woman attracted to me has hit on me when I was acting like an asshole. Plus, I'm afraid of rejection. I've been in only 4 relationships and each time the woman took the lead. I asked one woman out and she said no, and since then...All these factors are working against me.

    I mean it seems like a lot of gay dudes have liked me. More so than straight women, perhaps. I think it's because I'm kind of like a bear. Hairy, masculine, 6'1" 160 lbs with some babyfat. But while my orientation is bisexual, my preference is definitely heterosexual.

    Lately, I've been writing a lot of erotic poetry. I want to perform at this space in Kensington (VoxPop) in Brooklyn NY on an Open Mic. It's all about my cock and very sexually explicit. I figure some size queens might hit on me afterwards. I don't know if it will work, though.

    But in general, I really don't know what to do to meet women. I tried being nice and it doesn't work. Now I figure I just have to make explicit what I'm packing and hopefully then I can win a fun girl over.

    Don't know. What's your advice?
     
  2. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    :shrug: I like an intelligent, hairy, big dicked guy, so I guess you just ignored me on the F train. :09:

    It sounds like you need experience initiating, and the only way to gain it is with practice.
    You may get shot down, but then again, maybe not.
    Women are everywhere, just be yourself, friendly, smile, and talk, if she isn't a complete bitch, you can get a conversation going and move from there.
     
  3. pornographicpoet

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    Hmm. Maybe I should ride the F train more often, then?

    I guess my problem is generally I only get hot from friends. But if they shoot me down it would be extremely awkward. It happened once when I worked for NYPIRG (environmental canvasser) and I asked a co-worker out and she said no. It was extremely uncomfortable working with her for the rest of the summer.

    And then I hit on a woman who I thought was hitting on me and making eyes at a bar and then I added her on Facebook and found out she was married.

    I just think I'm clueless. LOL.
     
  4. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    K, you have to get past the living with parents thing, because maybe that is holding you back from really trying as it is an ever present obstacle to booty. At 45k, you could definitely live alone in a one bedroom near Park Slope... I can give you my ex-landlords number, haha.

    Beyond that, you have to keep trying and perfect your game. If online is easier, try flirting there first, but you must go out at some point. Do you go out to bars, clubs, lounges? What is your style?
     
  5. Principessa

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    First off 6'1" and 160 lbs. is a hairy stick, not a bear. :biggrin1: :tongue: There are many women like myself and sweet_ass who are not turned off by hairy guys. The living with the folks on $45K thing is a problem. You make enough to live on your own or at the very least have a roomate.

    The last time I went to a poetry reading all I saw were goth chicks and emo boys, all under 25 and whining about their middle class angst. Of course that was in central Jersey, I'm sure NYC gets a better class of poet.

    Have you tried dating sites or romantic chat rooms? I never had any luck with them but I know people who have not only met nice men and women but gotten married.
     
  6. pornographicpoet

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    Yeah. I want to move out of my family's house. It is an obstacle.

    I'd prefer to live with a roommate, though. I don't think I can handle a single occupancy apartment. I want to convince a friend to move in with me.

    However, I am likely quitting my job as a teacher. I'm influenced by punk and I have to say that I hate the hierarchical nature of school. I hate taking orders (or giving them). I want to work on my cousin's film set. Put my Creative Writing degree to use. But I can't leave until I have secure employment. There's no way I can pay the rent if I quit and then can't find a new job.

    I'm looking for something in Brooklyn/Manhattan...anywhere but East New York or Brownsville. Anything else is fair game. Looking for 1100/month for a 2 bedroom with utilities ideally included. That's asking a lot in NYC. But I want to get rid of my college loan debt (26,000)

    I go to bars. But I never really hit on women there unless they approach me. I'm all about subtlety. I don't think that's a very good approach in an immediate setting like a bar.
     
  7. pornographicpoet

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    NJQT.....

    Yeah, I see that too. That's why my M.O. is to destroy poetry. I've been to readings and I hated everything I heard. My poems are sexual and forceful and most importantly, explicitly clear. There's no thinking involved. It solicits an emotional reaction. I don't write for clove smoking cappuccino drinking black turtleneck wearing people and i don't write for people who listen to fall out boy and i don't write for other poets. I want to reinvent the game by making poetry accessible for everyone.

    LOL at the hairy stick comment.

    I've tried dating sites. I sent out 11 e-mails a month ago. 5 women read the e-mail. 2 responded, but ones lives in Ithaca and the other by Albany and I'm in Brooklyn. So, it's kind of pointless.

    I met a woman from Bay Ridge on the site as well. She had a lot of characteristics that turned me on - Buddhist, writer, redhead, short, loved to drink. But I think we didn't connect. I asked her to a Liberty (WNBA) game but she was busy with school (she's an elementary school teacher). Then I just dropped the pursuit.
     
  8. Principessa

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    Are you nuts? Do Not leave your teaching job for something as nebulous as the film industry! Women like stability in a man. IT sounds cool to say your a script writer or that you work in the movie industry, but is your cousin gonna give you full medical, dental, and optical? Didn't think so.

    Hmm, not always but the women who hit on guys in bars are probably gonna be sluts or drunk. Sounds like you want a nice girl. We can be found in bars, but we aren't walking up to guys and asking them to dance. That's the mans job.

    As for college loan debt. Just keep chipping away at it. I'm 42 and won't pay mine off until about 2 years after I collect my first social security check. Assuming it's still around when I'm 67. :irked: If I had put my life on hold for that I never would have accomplished anything.

     
  9. pornographicpoet

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    I don't know. I understand what you're saying NJQT about stability.... but, the mental strain of being a teacher is too much for a bipolar person like myself. I work in special education. Plus, I'm balancing graduate classes at the same time. It's too much for me. Besides, I'm not even a good teacher and I was excessed (I still get paid, but I have no permanent position)
     
  10. k-otter

    k-otter New Member

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    I had the same problems with men. I am Mr. nice guy by definition. In high school, any of my (then) bissexual attempts to hook up with women (and men) failed because all they wanted was to be good friends. "Why ruin such a great friendship?", they'd say. All that cliché.

    I started then flirting with people online, since I felt more comfortable. I had a kinky side, but I was too afraid to explore it, mainly concerned about what my parents would think. But online everything goes. So one day I was invited to go to a party, and all those men and women who knew me for what I really was (from our online experiences) were there. And then it was just the case of putting a face to the names and mix-matching.

    Eventually, I got used to going over and talking to men and women and risking it. As my father says, "When you start off, you already have a 'No', all that is going to happen is that you might win a 'Yes'". So that's how I think of it. If anything, I'll just have wasted a few minutes with someone not worth it.

    And, if you create sincere relationship with your friends, both male and female, those who become interested will come after you, you won't have to do anything. This is mostly what happens to me nowadays in college, people come tell me that jane or john doe are into me, and then it's just a matter of engaging them.
     
  11. Principessa

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    Special Education is rough, I couldn't do it.

    You have no job; but still get paid. Dude, you are living my dream!:biggrin1: Okay, you can live off student loans at home not sure how that would fair with roommates.

    Be careful though, it's easy to make excuses for not dating, or having a real job, then you wake up at 40 years old and find yourself sleeping in your folks basement, working for your cousin and earning $20K a year and all the beer you can drink. And you will still be wondering why you don't have a girlfriend. What's the grad degree in? Something lucrative or at least employable I hope.
     
  12. pornographicpoet

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    To K-otter:

    Oh yeah. I mean the internet is anything goes. That's the great thing about it. Plus, if someone rejects you, it's impersonal.

    I just don't think my female friends are in to me. But I have no idea how to read women's signals so I'm not sure. I joked about this with my friend Annalisa (I see her as my 2nd mom, I could never date her) about how it's harder for guys because all a woman has to do to know if a guy is interested in her is look at his pants.

    To NJQT:

    Special education is rough. Being the only special education teacher at your school in your first year is even rougher. I have no idea what to do. Unfortunately, even though I am excessed I still have to work. I feel like a cuckold.

    Grad degree is Adolescent Special Education. But I don't like working with kids. I was thinking of going back for Ph.D. in Sociology. I was going to head to Portland State for an MS in Sociology but I didn't get funding (I was an English major as an undergrad and that worked against me)
     
  13. D_eeglefleegle

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    I'm a teacher too lol :) I would love to read some of your poetry.
     
  14. Ethyl

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    All I have to say is that your username is pornographicpoet. You must have something to offer.
     
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