"nothing To Be Ashamed About" - Problematic Phrase?

seattle_unicorn

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I'm wondering how many of you hung guys have had someone compliment your size by saying something like, "Well that's nothing to be ashamed about." I've had a few people say this to me before. I used to take it as a compliment, but the more I think about it, it seems like a problematic phrase. The implication seems to be that if I didn't have a big cock, then I should feel shame about showing it to other people. I think there are ways of complimenting someone's size without inadvertently putting down guys who are smaller.

I've also heard a similar sentiment when it comes to being nude. I've heard from people I know and read online remarks like, "It's ok to be nude / wear a speedo if you've got the body for it." The implication is similar, that as long as you are fit and attractive, it's ok to show off, but if you're not, you should feel ashamed and hide your body.

I personally think we should be doing what we can to eliminate shame over bodies and penis size. I think comments like these reinforce oppressive notions of beauty.

Have you heard people say these sorts of things before? Or have you said them yourself? Do you think these sorts of statements are problematic? I'm curious to hear your thoughts.
 
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deleted2696141

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"It's ok to be nude / wear a speedo if you've got the body for it." The implication is similar, that as long as you are fit and attractive, it's ok to show off, but if you're not, you should feel ashamed and hide your body.

Yep, had that one plenty of times.

I used to be a lot bigger and have since lost a lot of weight. I get compliments but it never addresses the fact that I lost weight in unhealthy ways, and that when I was at my most conventionally attractive (lean, toned, etc) I was actually at my most worst point in terms of diet and health.

I've actually had the whole conversation where someone gives approval for me to be naked/shirtless because I "have the body for it" which makes me really uncomfortable/grossed out/frustrated.
 
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Cum_is_Great

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Body/fat shaming is very real and even happens on this board. I got into a particularly nasty argument with a member who was incredibly rude and insulting to me, and I didn't even post any pics, just admitted I was obese.

I really wish there were more body positivity. But then it gets polarized and lost into fighting from the two extremes. I personally would never go shirtless around people as I am now. As nice as some people are, there are others that are just as nasty about seeing overweight people showing skin. I only post full body pics for those who like it as a kink.

Also, lets be real. Very few people appreciate seeing someone my size even with clothes on. I can feel the stares and judgement. And also the avoidance. Maybe when I lose weight and "become human" again, I'll get some more positive interaction.
 
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deleted2696141

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I only post full body pics for those who like it as a kink... Maybe when I lose weight and "become human" again, I'll get some more positive interaction.

I don't know you personally but I'm really sorry you've had to go through that shit.

The idea that your (human) body makes you less human or that a person's attraction to you is purely to scratch a kinky itch? Not going to lie, it doesn't even remote shock me, but it still manages to appall me.
 

marriedasian

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i think what we all really need to learn is to not give a fuck about what other people say. if you can learn this skill, your life will become so much better exponentially immediately. shaming only matters if you care enough to let it matter.

with that said, we should also learn to be self-aware of oneself and try to aim for a better version of ourselves overall.
 
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