Number of sexual partners

[snevets]

Girls, what is an acceptable number of partners a guy should have.

Guys, what is an acceptable number of partners a girl should have.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Hmmm. This is really a silly topic. But For a guy, how many guys is acceptable? For girls, how many girls is acceptable? Don't know. As long as no one gets hurt or catches a disease, maybe there is no real number.


My wife and I had a sizeable history of sexual partners before we hooked up. We attributed the social pool as ways to shape up, not equating it with "wrong" or "right", let alone "sinful.

Honest is as honest does.

 

[NightFish]

I'm not sure it matters as long as your paying attention to the one you're currently with...

 

[Corius]

For me it was three male and two female partners each in long-term relationships. Then there was a very dry period after which I found the person I was willing and eager to bet the rest of my life with, the dear lady who is still my wife of many years who has had a very faithful husband. My journey has been a very happy one.

 

[B_Jennuine73]

As long as the girl or guy is safe and healthy, treats you properly, the way you want/need to be treated, it doesn't matter if they've slept with 5 or 5000.

 

[HazelGod]

Hmmm. This is really a silly topic.

Not only that...it's about the 2347845th iteration of this silly topic.

 

[Not_Punny]

Hmmm, I don't recall seeing one from this particular angle. But then again, I don't see everything.

In any case, there's no need to be mean to the OP.

 

[B_quietguy]

I wouldn't say there's a specific number where I feel judgemental or squicked, but I won't pretend that I never am. It's very situational, though. I'm more likely to be negatively struck by someone's number of sex partners if I witness a high rate of turnover accompanied by drama or negativity. If I just hear that "In the past I've slept with X number of people", unless it's so many that I'm left doing mental "that's how many a day for how many years?" math, it probably won't make a negative impression.

A very low number is enough to make me squicky if they speak disrespectfully of their partners.

I am a bit uncomfortable discussing sex or relationships with the very inexperienced. I'm happy with my own experience, and I have a lot of trouble relating to happy virgins or people who married their high school sweetheart and had no other sexual intimacy. I wish them well, and I respect their choices, but I know that if I'd followed the path they did I'd be miserable, so it's hard to find common ground. I'm much more comfortable discussing sex with someone who's had three or four or five times as many sex partners as I have than someone who's had none.

Generally when I am left feeling judgemental or squicked out by someone's sexual history, it's not because of the raw number of partners involved, but because of what the specific content of the number reveals about their social skills and interpersonal responsibility.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I think an acceptable number is whatever the person deems acceptable to them. If a woman has had two partners and thinks she has had to many and regrets one of them, then two isn't acceptable for her. If a guy has 300 partners and loves every bit of it, without regret... then 300 is an acceptable number for him.

 

[Jovial]

I've heard people say men are lauded or celebrated for having had many partners. But I've never heard a woman say "That guy slept with 10 women last month. I want him bad!" I'm pretty naive, so maybe women would want him more.

I don't think there is a particular number of partners someone should have. But I do think that their relationship history can sometimes predict their future.

 

[D_Merringtonne Meathead]

I agree it doesn't matter how many. Just concentrate on the one you have at the time.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

43 and 57 - but not necessarily in that order.

Unless you were born on a Sunday - in which case reverse it, divide by three, multiply by your age at my last birthday and swim 600m underwater.

I don't what the fuck the rest of you are gibbering on about.

 

[Drifterwood]

The more sexually experienced, or more specifically, the more sexually self aware, the better for me. Reading Dr. Ruth and watching day time TV doesn't count.

 

[The Dragon]

I think to even ask or be asked that question shows the very worst of manners.
What does it matter so long as their disease status is clear?
The first time you have sex with a partner it will become evident if they are experienced or not.

 

[Tickled Pink]

What do you mean by acceptable?

 

[D_Bob_N_Weaver]

It doesn't matter at all how many partners you've had, IMO. Though personally, I find a large number of partners more interesting.

 

[SpeedoMike]

regardless of the number, you want someone who thinks it's right... not somebody who thinks it's not. Agree?

 

[Principessa]

As long as the girl or guy is safe and healthy, treats you properly, the way you want/need to be treated, it doesn't matter if they've slept with 5 or 5000.

I was with you until you got to 5,000.:redface::tongue: I know men who have easily had sexual contact with twice that number; but I ain't sleeping with them.

Not only that...it's about the 2347845th iteration of this silly topic.

:yup:

Hmmm, I don't recall seeing one from this particular angle. But then again, I don't see everything.

In any case, there's no need to be mean to the OP.

Okay, Sister Mary Sunshine.

I wouldn't say there's a specific number where I feel judgemental or squicked, but I won't pretend that I never am.

What does squicked mean?

It's very situational, though. I'm more likely to be negatively struck by someone's number of sex partners if I witness a high rate of turnover accompanied by drama or negativity. If I just hear that "In the past I've slept with X number of people", unless it's so many that I'm left doing mental "that's how many a day for how many years?" math, it probably won't make a negative impression.

Yeah, those are good points.

A very low number is enough to make me squicky if they speak disrespectfully of their partners.

I agree.


I am a bit uncomfortable discussing sex or relationships with the very inexperienced. I'm happy with my own experience, and I have a lot of trouble relating to happy virgins or people who married their high school sweetheart and had no other sexual intimacy. I wish them well, and I respect their choices, DITTO! While extremely flattering to encounter a male virgin online who lusts for me. I think I'd be a little freaked out to encounter one in my bed. :redface: but I know that if I'd followed the path they did I'd be miserable, so it's hard to find common ground.

I'm much more comfortable discussing sex with someone who's had three or four or five times as many sex partners as I have than someone who's had none.

Yes! So am I.

Generally when I am left feeling judgemental or squicked out by someone's sexual history, it's not because of the raw number of partners involved, but because of what the specific content of the number reveals about their social skills and interpersonal responsibility.

I concur.

]I think an acceptable number is whatever the person deems acceptable to them. If a woman has had two partners and thinks she has had to many and regrets one of them, then two isn't acceptable for her.

Thank You! That makes sense. I've had sex with 12 men and regret at least 5 of them. :frown1: If a guy has 300 partners and loves every bit of it, without regret... then 300 is an acceptable number for him.

True, but it's always the other person asking the question that has the problem with any answer in my opinion.

I've heard people say men are lauded or celebrated for having had many partners. But I've never heard a woman say "That guy slept with 10 women last month. I want him bad!" I'm pretty naive, so maybe women would want him more.

Nope, I've never heard that either.

I don't think there is a particular number of partners someone should have. But I do think that their relationship history can sometimes predict their future.

Absolutely!

The more sexually experienced, or more specifically, the more sexually self aware, the better for me. Reading Dr. Ruth and watching day time TV doesn't count.

I agree; but there is a limit for me. Who is to say that the man with only 30 partners isn't more sexually aware and experienced than the man with 300 partners?

I think to even ask or be asked that question shows the very worst of manners.

As do I. What it really shows is insecurity and low sexual self-esteem. That is NOT attractive.

What does it matter so long as their disease status is clear? Apparently I'm a prude, as many people have told me in recent weeks. Once you get into triple digits I believe it says something about your character. Such as: Why are you unable to maintain a committed and exclusive relationship? Are you a sex addict? What if anything have you learned from all these encounters? Is this man even capable of love? etc., etc.
The first time you have sex with a partner it will become evident if they are experienced or not.

Not necessarily. The worst lover I ever had was a 51 yr.old Sicilian American guy who boasted of having had sex with over 100 women. Technically he was experienced.

I have also had sex with a man who was with only one girl before me. He was the most exuberant, experimental; and fun lover I have ever had.

 

[B_Demention]

Any number of partners is acceptable. I don't understand this insecure desire for a virgin that plagues our country. So long as she's clean, I'm happy to benefit from her experience, and if she hasn't really been around the block that's fine too - maybe I can teach her a few things. Either way is cool. But I can't stand guys that label a woman a slut if she's slept with more than a certain arbitrarily picked number (10 is a popular one). Guys like that are just jealous that the girl in question hasn't slept with them.

 

[Mr. Snakey]

Too many to remember to even give an honest answer. The most amazing sex of my life was the other night. A bad storm, no power and just us.