OBGyn- ladies

[HiddenLacey]

I have a question. I have a horrible anxiety issue when I go see my doctor. And I don't mean like the normal hatred. I mean I'm going to throw up at any second my heart rate climbs up around 99 and my BP hit's something like 160/95 and literally I'm shaking it's all I can do to lay there and not run screaming out of the office. I'm full of horrible nerve racking anxiety. I work in the medical field I've been around many dr's and nurse's and I've never had this issue. And it's not just when I go to see him, if I know I have to go there to have my BP checked I immediately start freaking out.

I have been seeing the same guy for 8 years. Everytime I go he threatens to take me off of my BC pills. At that point I bought my own BP monitor and I take it everyday sometimes 2-3 times a day and anytime I have a slight headache and document it so I can argue my point. I actually bought 2 different ones so they couldn't say my machine is calibrated incorrectly. It is always normal 110/72 and my HR is about 68 on average.

I've talked to several people I know personally about it and they all say it's normal to feel this way. Some say it will change after I've had a baby and I'm more used to going all the time. I've thought about changing to a female vs a male but then I lose the dr I've know for so long. Does anyone have a similar issue and know how to deal with this aside from taking medication like valium or xanax or something to decrease my anxiety?

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Not personally.Who told you your BP would lower after having a baby? I've had 6 babies and never and still don't go to my GP anymore or any less than before i had them.

I personally wouldnt advocate talking your own BP as surely it rises as you take it as you are probably expecting it to be higher than is normal.Does that make sense?

It makes you look like a hypochondriac and your GP is more qualified to know if and when you need your meds reducing/stopping etc etc.

Where would you get Valium from if not from your GP as it isnt given out willy nilly and quite possibly your GP wouldnt prescribe it for you.

I hope you read the above in the warm way it is meant even though it doesnt look that way.

((HUGS))) Natasha

 

[HiddenLacey]

Not personally.Who told you your BP would lower after having a baby? I've had 6 babies and never and still don't go to my GP anymore or any less than before i had them.

I personally wouldnt advocate talking your own BP as surely it rises as you take it as you are probably expecting it to be higher than is normal.Does that make sense?

It makes you look like a hypochondriac and your GP is more qualified to know if and when you need your meds reducing/stopping etc etc.

Where would you get Valium from if not from your GP as it isnt given out willy nilly and quite possibly your GP wouldnt prescribe it for you.

I hope you read the above in the warm way it is meant even though it doesnt look that way.

((HUGS))) Natasha

No no I didn't take it in a bad way. I mean it is ONLY high in his office. I have other physicans it is NEVER high at their office's or when I take it myself. I can get anxiety meds from any of my physican's I'm just looking for a reason behind the way I feel and how I can work past it. I don't want to take medication.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Oh and I didn't mean they were saying a BP reading would be lower after having a child but that I would become more comfortable with the visits afterward.

 

[dolfette]

if your doc makes you uncomfortable or take you seriously then change him.
you'd lose a dr that's been making you physically ill for 8 years.
and the sooner you change him, the sooner you can start getting to know a new dr.

White coat hypertension - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
white coat syndrome is a well documented problem, and if your doc refuses to believe in it's symptoms then it's going to effect your treatment for the worse.

 

[dolfette]

...unless it's an ob-gyn issue in general, in which case you need to learn relaxation techniques... & maybe get therapy if it's due to some sort of sexual trauma.

i can tell you that having kids hasn't magically made me not mind people poking about my parts. i mind just as much as i ever did.

 

[HiddenLacey]

...unless it's an ob-gyn issue in general, in which case you need to learn relaxation techniques... & maybe get therapy if it's due to some sort of sexual trauma.

i can tell you that having kids hasn't magically made me not mind people poking about my parts. i mind just as much as i ever did.

I'm not sure, I've had some abuse issue's in the past I don't feel like this with my boyfriend. But something about even calling them to make an appointment. I just feel overwhelmed, it's very scary I don't want him to touch me and I know he's a doctor he's touches a ton a people all the time I just feel disgusted and vunerable. Honestly if it weren't for my BC pills I wouldn't even go. All of my dr's are guys my dentist my allergist and my dermatologist. BP is great there but none of them see me naked or put their hands on me. Anyway thanks it made me feel better to know it bothers you still maybe my best bet is to find a new physican.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

...unless it's an ob-gyn issue in general, in which case you need to learn relaxation techniques... & maybe get therapy if it's due to some sort of sexual trauma.

i can tell you that having kids hasn't magically made me not mind people poking about my parts. i mind just as much as i ever did.

I was thinking the same.I still feel nervous when i have to see the Gynaecologist and many women are the same.Even pregnant women are the same.I see it everytime i'm at work.

 

[dolfette]

I'm not sure, I've had some abuse issue's in the past I don't feel like this with my boyfriend. But something about even calling them to make an appointment. I just feel overwhelmed, it's very scary I don't want him to touch me and I know he's a doctor he's touches a ton a people all the time I just feel disgusted and vulnerable. Honestly if it weren't for my BC pills I wouldn't even go. All of my dr's are guys my dentist my allergist and my dermatologist. BP is great there but none of them see me naked or put their hands on me. Anyway thanks it made me feel better to know it bothers you still maybe my best bet is to find a new physician.

i could not cope at all if i had to see a male doc. i think it's because the contact is so cold and unemotional that it's such a trigger to bad feelings.

you've got to have a doctor you feel comfortable with! you don't win any points for torturing and traumatising yourself. it's not cowardly or childish to need to feel safe.

i suggest talking to a few female gyns, telling them about your past, seeing if their reactions make you feel comfortable. the good ones will make a point to explain everything they do before they do it and allow you time to compose yourself if you need it.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Yeah I worked in an obgyn clinic and I was perfectly fine. It's ridiculous to feel the way i do I know. I just wanted a general opinion. I think I'm going to take Dolfette's advice and start looking for another dr. Maybe one I can talk to and have my history wrote out since I can't ever seem to talk about anything face to face with the guy I have now.

ADDITION: Thank you both for talking to me about it

 

[dolfette]

It's ridiculous to feel the way i do I know.

no, it's not.
it's really not.

do you think it's silly when you see a war vet jump at the bang of a firework going off? it's the same thing. your brain is seeing the similarities between this and another situation, one that was dangerous and painful, and it's flooding your body with adrenalin and telling you to run like hell.

there's nothing ridiculous about it at all.
it's a perfectly natural reaction.
and it's incredibly common.

 

[HiddenLacey]

no, it's not.
it's really not.

do you think it's silly when you see a war vet jump at the bang of a firework going off? it's the same thing. your brain is seeing the similarities between this and another situation, one that was dangerous and painful, and it's flooding your body with adrenalin and telling you to run like hell.

there's nothing ridiculous about it at all.
it's a perfectly natural reaction.
and it's incredibly common.

I'm thinking I made a big mistake in not telling him about my past in the first place I think in general it would have made the experience more tolerable. I was seeing him before and I was nervous but ok now its just horrible. Stupid girl brain lol, atleast I can joke about it. I was asking because I had to make an appointment and felt like I was going to be sick the whole time I was on the phone and I started sweating. UGH. I'm good I think I'm going to bare it one last time and find someone else maybe a woman and meet her before hand so I can just talk to her instead of feeling so lost.

 

[dolfette]

I'm thinking I made a big mistake in not telling him about my past in the first place I think in general it would have made the experience more tolerable. I was seeing him before and I was nervous but ok now its just horrible. Stupid girl brain lol, atleast I can joke about it. I was asking because I had to make an appointment and felt like I was going to be sick the whole time I was on the phone and I started sweating. UGH. I'm good I think I'm going to bare it one last time and find someone else maybe a woman and meet her before hand so I can just talk to her instead of feeling so lost.

if face to face is too much then you can always write it down. a good doc will understand that some things are hard to talk about.

yeah...telling some bloke you barely know about the most distressing thing that's happened to you isn't going to be easy. i'm not surprised you couldn't manage it.
that, once again, is a perfectly normal reaction.

and not just for girls. guys who've been abused have the same issues.

good luck finding someone that works for you.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Thank you!

 

[Not_Punny]

DEFINITELY change your doctor. I absolutely HATED going to a male OBGyn. I am sure there are exceptions, but every male OBGyn doctor I went to was creepy. And I mean creeeepy.

Visits to a female OBGyn are a LOT more comfortable.

 

[HiddenLacey]

DEFINITELY change your doctor. I absolutely HATED going to a male OBGyn. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better going to a female one.

I am sure there are exceptions, but every male OBGyn doctor I went to was creepy. And I mean creeeepy.

LMAO that is how I felt at first my bestfriend see's the same guy and she says she lays there and thinks "funky old man touchin' my stuff" lol she kind of chants that in her head and then it's over....

Yeah that does NOT work for me. My non-internet friends say going to a woman would be weird and I almost switched last year until another friend who see's my guy said no he's great he was my OB no issues with him etc. So I stayed, now I'm thinking hello I'm not planning on a baby so I have to find someone else plus I'm hoping to move to another state next year. Overall I think I'm going to search for a woman now, maybe it will feel less tramatic.

 

[EllieP]

Darling, you have to change doctors. I know that in itself is a harrowing experience, but I had to do it twice when I lived in Atlanta. The first one was a cold fish who no more wanted to hear what I had to say than the man in the moon. He lasted one year because after that second visit I said "no more." The next one only got one visit out of me. Oh, the first was male, the second female. I finally found a doctor that I absolutely hated to leave. When we moved from Atlanta I tried to convince her to move to Florida! She took her time, made sure I was at ease. She was clinical and friendly at the same time.

I hope you find someone you're very comfortable with. Life is too short to put up with some people.

 

[sbat]

I never understood male gynecologists. Wouldn't that be kind of like a male midwife? There's just a basic empathy that they can never have, and the larger part of patient treatment is understanding the problem.

I wouldn't expect a woman to fully understand what it's like to be a male, and same goes for the opposite.

 

[Embrace69]

I actually have the same issues. Not just with the OBGYN but with any doctor. MD, dentists, orthopedic etc. At home and in relaxation, my BP is in normal range and my heart rate is fine.

I suffer from HORRIBLE Social Anxiety Disorder in general. So making a phone call for me, be it a doctor or just calling for pizza makes me physically ill to my stomach and I start sweating and almost hyperventilating. It's something I have had to work really hard to over come. Some days are better than others and some aren't so great.

But anyway, I do suggest that if you aren't in any way shape or form comfortable with your gyno. Look for a new one, schedule a consultation or a preliminary visit in which you discuss your views, your history, and how you've felt generally over all about even coming for a checkup. These things a good doctor will take into consideration when opting to become your physician.

Remember, it's your body and if you're not comfortable with someone touching you, exam or not you have the right to say no. If they don't comply then you have some serious issues and a possible law suit.

Best of luck to you finding a new doctor and over coming this. I know it's hard at least it has been for me. I completely understand what you're going through if it's any consolation at all. Just know, you're not alone.

 

[cougar_domme]

submissivegirl83 I would just totally agree with all those who have already said find a new doctor, a female one if possible, though I don't know about over where you live, but here female obgyns can be very hard to find - worth making the effort to locate one though.
I am very much a don't touch me type of person unless you are on intimate terms with me (so many of us have stories of abuse triggering that) - I have a back injury and have never even had a massage for it once as a strangers touch creeps me out, let alone anything more personal.
I have had 8 pregnancies - 7 children and two miscarriages (one the loss of one twin in a pregnancy where the other baby went full term) plus pcos runs in my family, so you might imagine what a conflict this has created in my life with the number of times I have been through that doctors door, and while I have learned to tough it out it has always been a stress.
Best of luck finding someone gentle mannered and sympathetic