Object of envy and jealousy

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Jan 10, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    jjdov26: how many of you above average guys like it when your friends or relatives are envious or jealous of your size and prowess?

    what are you stories on the subject?
     
  2. Imported

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    ace420: I suppose that it made me feel superior when I was young. But I don't appreciate it at all now.
     
  3. Imported

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    jjdov26: Thanks for the reply Ace.

    Please elaborate on your statement, if you want.

    When was a time when you someone was envious of your size? Was he a friend? a cousin? How did you pick up on his feelings? Did the two of you actively talk about the issue, or was it just a subtext?
     
  4. Imported

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    H8Monga: I'd like to hear the answer to that too Ace.

    This thread made me think of another topic, a reversed one. People can answer both questions, but seeing this, I wonder how many above average guys find themselves jealous of someone who's smaller?
     
  5. Imported

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    rainfletcher: I'm pretty hung (9x7), but not rediculously so. And I have definately wished for smaller. I was deeply ashamed of my dick for the better part of a decade, and would have traded it for average gladly.

    I've changed my tune entirely, now, because of the woman I'm with and what I've learned over the past few years.
     
  6. Imported

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    rainfletcher: Sorry, realized my last post was off-thread.

    One story comes to mind. A couple of years ago, I was at a bar in Dallas (The Memphis Club - GREAT place for anyone in the area), and had hooked up with one of the waitresses. We didn't do much because she was afraid of my size, but she did tell the other waitresses, who were talking about me within ear shot of a guy at the bar. He came over and asked to speak with me in private, so I broke away from my group. He asked if it was true that i was hung large. I must say I was very, very, very embarassed when he asked me. He told me he was envious, and wanted me to have sex with his wife while he watched. He just wanted to see how she'd react to a large dick.

    I turned him down, but he was very curious at my experiences being with women and being large. I told him frankly that most of it was really bad because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I couldn't get it in most of the time (didn't know how to warm a woman up properly), and had a hard time keeping an erection (fear and anxiety). I hadn't actually had those problems a year or so, but I felt bad for the guy. He had a real hang-up about his dick size. I think it helped him to know that there are insecurities on both sides.

    Don't know if that was what you were looking for, but that's what came to mind.
     
  7. D_Martin van Burden

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    I would say I have had envious reactions to my size, but not jealous ones; and I would take it one step further by saying that the people who were envious may not have been the most well-informed guys in the world, if you know what I mean.

    Meathose mentioned once in a post about how being well-endowed fosters, in some cases, this strange sense of respect. On the few occasions I change in public or if a friend and I have to change clothes in each other's presences, sure I won't get this huge diatribe or analysis on my dick size, but I'll get a reaffirmative nod of some sort. Once when I hosted a wild party in college and had done a fair share of drinking, on a few occasions have I whipped it out with a bud (usually to the girls' cheers), the guy agrees that it's pretty huge.

    To quote a good Canadian bud of mine: "Damn man, I'm just gonna look at you on campus and see a 9 flashing over your head. Nine, nine, nine!" he spoke. I laughed really hard. You know, this was the kind of guy whose body easily arouses envy and respect, and he's offering himself as my "dick cheerleader." (Made a hell of a joke of that, too.)

    Maybe in some way, I'm grateful that my dick can elicit such responses; it's as if it evens out the playing field for me since I'm not exactly the most muscular or the most athletic guy in the world. You know?
     
  8. Imported

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    Donk: Dee's comments sum up my feelings pretty well. I am pretty muscular these days, but I wasn't when I was back in college (did not start working out until a couple years later) and I have never been athletic. Plus, in my case, I have always been short in height. So these "Damn, man" type reactions from the studly jock types do give the ego a boost and there were certain occasions when I could tell that people gained new respect for me when they learned what I was packing. (It's a shallow type of respect but, hey, I'll take what I can get :)).

    Couple of examples: I had some friends in the dorm who were basketball players and all at least a foot taller than me. When one of them saw me in the shower and spread the word that I outclassed them all in dick size they declared me some kind of god.

    Then there was this football player in our dorm who was just generally an arrogant asshole to everyone. He was pretty well hung himself and liked to flaunt it in the showers. Till one day we happened to shower at the same time and it was obvious I was bigger and he suddenly got alot less "cocky." A couple of the other guys later thanked me for knocking him down a peg.
     
  9. Imported

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    meathose10: I like being envied for my size - as long as it's not a bitter , sneering sort of thing. (And how transparent is that?) I love those "Damn!" responses when I drop trou. I've had a few buddies who were "dick cheerleaders" as Dee puts it, lol... That's just a good friend admiring and encouraging you. When I was younger it was embarassing , but now that I've got 'cock-confidence' and have learned how to use this thing I like the fact that my huge penis is common knowledge. I'm proud. It's funny how often the subject comes up after the guys have a few drinks in them. There are always disbelievers , but I don't feel compelled to 'prove' anything - and anyhow , there are others who'll vouch for me.
    And rainfletcher, I think we've met the same guy. I guess all guys have a size obsession in a way , particularly the under-endowed. The fact that a man with a small penis was interested in the concept of watching me fuck his wife surprised me. He was openly voicing feelings of inadequacy , and it seems to me that watching your wife react to a large dick would just make things worse. Though he did say he wanted to pretend my cock was his.Unfortunately his wife wasn't there - depending on her looks and attitude who knows what might have happened. This dude kept buying me drinks all night. He wouldn't give it a rest , so eventually, shit-faced, I showed him the fucking thing. Must admit , hearing him say :"Wow , that girl wasn't kidding !" gave me a certain kick.
    My cousin is two years older than me , bigger and more athletic. Kind of a bully. We spent a few summers together as teenagers. His penis is about half the size of mine. Really pissed him off. He's pretty much an asshole , so I flaunted my superiority as often as I could. Squelched his bragging in general.....
     
  10. Imported

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    SizeRulz: I would have to say that the reaction of most guys when they see my size is admiration. There have been a couple of guys whose became downright nasty and mean. Maybe that was because of envy or a feeling of inferiority on their part. Like meathose10 I enjoy those initial comments (damn! or holy shit! or fuck!). Those are good for the ego. There have also been times when I'm out at a bar or someplace where I wear jeans and show a very obvious bulge where some of the other guys there (not my friends) can get aggressive and unfriendly when I start to get attention from the ladies.
     
  11. Imported

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    H8Monga: Although I feel inferior and am inadequate, I'd never let a hung guy do anything with my girlfriend or wife at my bidding to get off on it. Talk about sloppy seconds! I've said in the past, I'd just go and buy a strap on to do her.
     
  12. Imported

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    meathose10: Yeah , SizeRulz , what is it with that aggression and unfriendliness from other men that can come with being the proud owner of an overly large penis? Have you ever noticed it only really happens when women are around? In the locker room there's usually a friendly and healthy respect from other guys.... I guess if a few men are jockeying for a woman's attention in a bar situation or something and your size is clearly evident (I too like to show the equipment - usually by freeballing in tight jeans) you're seen as a threat. Guys can act like a pack of yard dogs , lol....and I think men associate big size with natural dominance , so they almost go into fight mode as a reflex. It's no fun. Always that vibe of challenge and cruelty....Even though I understand where it's coming from and certainly wouldn't trade my big meat in for a lighter model I still wish there were a way to avoid it. Being put on the defensive sure doesn't make it easy to charm the ladies - but then maybe that's the point.
     
  13. benderten2001

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    hapi,

    Like others around here, I have read virtually ALL your posts in every catagory of topic. --And, we know we'll hear from you sooner or later! ;)

    I too get concerned at times about "your inferiority complex" which you openly admit to.

    I'm considerably older than you (and, heck, alot of the others in this forum as well!).

    I sincerely hope that someday, you will arrive at the stage of live I have and, get to the same conclusion I've made as well. It's that same conclusion that many of my well-meaning friends, associates, acquaintances, and other "well wishers" kept telling me about all along (which I only seemed to dismiss)--and that is:
    penis size is not ALWAYS the most important matter in life and that there are many, many women out there in the world who don't (and won't) hold a man's "lack of size" against him. --If only I could have BELIEVED that back then.

    What makes me really mad now is the fact that I wasted so much time (we're talking YEARS here, friend!) over all the anguish I put myself through-- needlessly.
    All the wrong, distorted ideas, attitudes and notions, misguided and misinformed directions, etc....I was my own worst enemy and didn't even realize it! Lacking self esteem is one of the most painful experiences in life...(bar none) except for pure physical pain. And, ANY pain can be dibilitating over time. I've been there.

    I'm not making fun of you here at all...just relating to and identifying with you in many ways. But, over the course of years, my life's experiences have allowed me to see things so MUCH differently--particulary in sexual adequacy and matters concerning relationships. Other avenues of interest have superceded sexual concerns.
    Sex-related matters have "kinda fallen into place" in a more natural, logical order somehow. Sex is still important to me, but it doesn't pre-occupy my whole life.
    I believe I have found a balance that's proper for me and my wish here is to help others work through their issues and (perhaps) assist others if I can.

    I would like nothing more than to read of you having a major "turn-around" someday within your deep inner-self. I'd be tickled to death for you.

    BTW---I suppose you realize this forum is not always the very best place to foster and encourage self esteem!

    But, I'm glad you're with us, nonetheless. :)
     
  14. Imported

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    H8Monga: Thanks for your words benderten2001, I've always regarded you one of the best posters here.

    For the record, I haven't posted under the personals section or the fictitious stories. I've skipped a lot of posts that just don't interest me in the ones where I post. I usually wait for something I can respond to.

    I might be wrong in what I'm thinking, so forgive me, it's what's prompted this question: you know how it is to worry about lack of size being held against you from experience? I'd like to know what you mean, as in what happened to you.

    I'm sure I will get to your point and thought in life. I just need to keep living and have experiences to show me. I really need it proven wrong to me, not just hearing it or reading it. I need to experience it for myself. And lately I have thought about the what ifs... what if I am ridiculed?... what if I get turned down at that first moment of realization? I'd have proof and even thinking about that made me feel rotten and if that situation plays out, how devastated I'd be. Now the sex thing is not the first concern. After all, a relationship is not like a one night stand where I'd definitely be sent away with my tail between my legs. Sex is the last thing... it's never going to be right away... other things come before that. But I constantly feel I will be a disappointment with this damn stereotype hanging over me... even if everything else about me overshadows that. I feel I could be better. Everyone thinks they could be better. And I really could not get over it if she had someone between 7-8" before me. I feel I'd not be able to match that. Poor girl will just have to settle. BUT! Forget the relationship stuff... I know I'm never going to have opne of those either. I just want to be happy and for me to be happy with myself is to have something i can be confident in. No one here has yet met the challenge of saying anything about how not being hung is something to be proud of... that is what makes it SPECIAL. Not dipping in the toilet or having people focus on it instead of you doesn't make being small or average special. If girls didn't admit size was a bonus when it's not a criteria, I know I'd never worry.

    I need to get my mind off of what people say and all the messages. I need to find a way to end my jealousy... and to those who suggest therapy, that and magic pills aren't miracle cures.

    I adore myself, for all the great things I've done and can do, but I can be better in many ways and yet can't.

    Sex doesn't occupy my life. I haven't even had it yet and probably won't... but it's hard to ignore it when all around me it's being preached especially at work where they want me not to be a virgin soooooo bad. I get to hear all the stories... It's quite embarrassing and it's rubbed in my face constantly. It just makes me feel more inadequate, the things I know I'll never be able to do or experience. If only they knew. I just can't tell them.

    Thanks benderten2001, I would love to one day show up and be super confident. I just need a reason to be. Some things you just can't accept. If you're ugly and rich, they don't accept it, they change it. I don't have the luxury of that. But benderten, you know, one of the supervisors who is super obsessed withs ex and me not getting any, is also a budding psychic. He says he sees me in a better lot in life as well as cocky, rude, and completely not me. if that is true, I wonder what that would be that would change me that drastically.

    The thing I ask is if you want to help, I need to understand some things. Words and plainly telling someone to cheer up or just accept it, don't help. Everyone needs patience because nothing is overnight. It took about three years to get to this result. it may be longer to reverse it... or I could just have that experience that just blows it all away.

    Thanks again.
     
  15. benderten2001

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    hapi,

    In respect to staying with the theme of the original thread, you and I might do well to go to the IM method to further discuss this.

    Let me just say for you (and any others interested) that the issues which concerned me much earlier in life regarding my size, how I measured up, and whether any woman would EVER find me attractive and desirable---every one of these concerns have (amazingly) paled through the course of time.

    It's just plain ole life, perhaps....and getting older, too I will admit.

    I have not had a long list of sexual conquests.

    I do not have down a perfected sexual repertoire of special moves, methods, or maneuvers that result in "almost passing out from sheer ecstasy".

    The relationships I seek are meaningful ones where sex is the icing on the cake...it is NOT the main attraction.

    I think it all depends on the individual man and just "what" he seeks in a relationship to begin with.  If sex is the main focus, then there will definitely be  certain ideas and motives expressed up front and right away.
    What I seek in woman and the friendship (and then the relationship to follow) takes time and dedication.

    Like you (when I was younger and surrounded by peer pressure) I was bombarded by the world at large to "go for it" that  "I shouldn't hold back" and "what is wrong with me?"...

    I realize now, what was wrong with me was I was listening to others and not to myself.

    The truth is until you're happy with yourself and make a DETERMINED effort (from deep down) to DESIRE to be happy...it's going to be tough going.

    Sometimes, one has to live and "experience life further down the road" before any of this makes any sense.

    You and I (apparently) are just like that....it will take quite a while to find our way.  Unfortunately, all the best wishes and "happy talk to encourage" somehow just won't do it....until we finally reach the point when one day, we realize..."how stupid and mixed up I've have been all my life".  That's the feeling I arrived at in my MID FORTIES!

    I just trust that doesn't happen to you, friend!
     
  16. Imported

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    SizeRulz: Meathose, that's exactly how it is for me, too. When I'm with a group of guys only, whether in the locker room, playing some basketball, or just hanging out there is none of that tension and aggression. In fact, quite the opposite - just good-natured teasing and comments. Even in mixed group of friends (guys and girls) there isn't any of that hostility shit. But when the situation is "competitive", guys can get VERY hostile and aggressive. I've even had situations where I was sitting at a table (and nobody could see anything) and the guys around were very friendly until I stood up to go to the bar or bathroom or someplace. Once they saw my dick bulge the whole atmosphere changed. I don't quite understand it. It's like they were all cool as long as they thought we were all equals. Maybe they see my obviously large dick as unfair competition or something.
     
  17. txquis

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    This is another great discussion..all angles of it.

    I have experienced the same thing.
    I was never very athletic...more of the skinny,
    lanky, scarecrow type.  Not exactly uncoordinated,
    but not the star of the basketball team either.

    But, in the locker room,
    and the dorm showers,the comments/compliments started.
    It made me sort of belong, in a way, and feel the "comeraderie".

    Sometimes i wished that i "fit in" for my work on the field instead of what nature put in my pants.

    I've had this problem in relationships and dating, too.  There have been times where i've been flat out told that the attraction was my penis.
    MAN...that was tough.

    And Hapi,
    I hear you about the self esteem thing.
    I've posted many times about my ex
    who was smaller than average and was teased about it.

    All the compliments i got in the locker rooms
    were snickers and giggles for him.
    That would have to really hurt, to actually have your body ridiculed or laughed about.

    But, i suppose all you can do is try to change
    your OWN mind about the worth you give your penis,
    whatever the size.
     
  18. Imported

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    7x6andchg: Benderten-

    Excellent last post. Envy and jealousy are emotions we all have...and at some point eventually, as you stated, you pretty much just wake up one day and say "I was worried about this, that, and the other because of...."

    AND you can't answer the question.

    Imagine how dull the world would be if we all were equally tall, smart, muscular, hirsute (head and/or body), hung, etc....

    Just my 2 cents

    7x6&C
     
  19. Imported

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    sammygirly: Wasn't gonna reply to this thread...dont have a penis...but it strikes a chord. I'd bet it strikes a chord for everyone - we all have things on our body that we don't like, or would change. I blame the media for dictating what the "perfect" body should be.

    I often wish my breasts were bigger. They're not terribly small, fit my frame really...but pamela anderson Im not. Just last night I was talking with Maximillian about getting a water-bra (yes, you fill them with water to give the jiggling illusion of breasts) and...he laughed at me.
    Yup.
    Laughed.

    Hard.

    ...and then reiterated something that we all need to remember. There is only one "perfect" body you can ever have...and that's the one that perfectly pleases your mate. According to him, Im perfect just as I am...

    ...so no water-bra for me.

    ~gathers up Paul's 2 cents for my future face lift, tummy tuck and magic cream~
     
  20. Imported

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    View_From_Below: [quote author=txqis link=board=relationships;num=1042231925;start=12#16 date=05/16/03 at 10:31:29]All the compliments i got in the locker rooms
    were snickers and giggles for him.
    [/quote]

    Txqis--
    I just want to let you know that in my opinion, this is a perceptive and extraordinarily generous thing to say.

    VFB
     
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