Oblivious

[HunggGreek]

Hey all just figured I'd see if any of you had any advice for me

Just so we have the situation all out in the open I'm 18, going into my second year of uni, bisexual (but currently looking for ladies not guys), a virgin and I've never had a girlfriend. Hell I've never even kissed a girl outside of one slightly tipsy game of spin the bottle - after my 18th birthday. The fact that I hadn't had a kiss by my 18th birthday makes me pretty damn sad in my eyes.

I'm usually a pretty sharp guy mentally but when it comes to flirting and subtle signs that she's interested I am completely clueless. I don't know whether she's flirting, whether I'm flirting, if she's hinting at me to make a move etc etc. So basically I'm asking you guys to help me to learn how to see the signs if they're there since my 19th is coming up and I'd like to get some kind of experience with the ladies before then. How do I tell if she likes me? How do I know whether she's flirting or not?

Thanks in advance for the help guys

 

[rbkwp]

Think you posted when majority are sleeping Au Greekboi, geuss all the Strs will furnish tips in a few hours
ALL the best in yr quest matey
Gay, and wont even suppose to answer ha

 

[Zeuhl34]

I wish you all the best. I can't really help. Hell, I didn't get laid or even kiss a girl until this past October, so do your best not to sweat it.

 

[upone]

I'm old, so I probably don't know anything. Over the years I've reached a couple of conclusions. One is that she is always in charge of the relationship, but wants you to think you are. It makes for all sorts of male confusion.

 

[helgaleena]

Most females are just as clueless and insecure as you. Humans tend to run with the personality types who resemble, or share resonance levels if you prefer, with themselves. If you spend time with people with similar hobbies and tastes, you are bound to meet females of the species who are not attached. Begin with them. Become friends, play games together, and so on, based on mutual interests, and before you know it there will be a few who seem like it's possible to confess that you'd sincerely like to progress to skin upon skin.

And remember, communication is key. As an undergrad I found myself throwing myself at plenty of startled young men because I knew so little about how one went about it. I know of no substitute for this. As you can see, I lived to be old. It took me decades to get anything resembling happiness.

 

[martin60018]

You sound just like the rest of the world, just clueless. Don't dwell on it, it'll come soon enough.

 

[HunggGreek]

So what I'm gathering is that I'm hardly alone in my cluelessness. That's relieving Forgive my cynicism but if everyone's clueless about people being interested how does anyone get casual sex/girlfriends/any kind of connection with anyone?

 

[Remington]

So what I'm gathering is that I'm hardly alone in my cluelessness. That's relieving Forgive my cynicism but if everyone's clueless about people being interested how does anyone get casual sex/girlfriends/any kind of connection with anyone?

Communication.

 

[BonnieBlaine]

What are the girls doing/saying that you are unsure of (if they are flirting) I can tell you from my experience you can tell alot from eye contact. Smiles, simple gestures...... A slight touch or nudge.... Alot of times, thats flirting..... Inbox me if u wanna talk more......

 

[dude_007]

At the risk of sounding too Zen, stop looking, then it happens.
A watched pot takes longer to boil.

 

[D_Dick_S_Lapp]

ok i don't really want to sound like a know it all. Actually i'm here because i've developed some social anxiety and was looking for the answer to the OP's question. I think a better question though would how you flirt with others?

Or: How do you show someone you like them?

I don't know maybe i should just create another thread?

 

[HunggGreek]

Thanks guys

 

[D_Harry_Crax]

I'm old, so I probably don't know anything. Over the years I've reached a couple of conclusions. One is that she is always in charge of the relationship, but wants you to think you are. It makes for all sorts of male confusion.

When I read stuff like this, which is true, I'm always glad that I'm gay.

 

[jameshawket]

I don't mean to sound like I know too much, but I spend a lot of years studying and learning the language of "girl."

Girls are easy, they just talk around what they are saying sometimes.

Here's your hint to knowing she's NOT interested:

1) Within 1 minute, to 1 hour of your interactions with her, she'll bring up something about her ex, this could be something simple like he chewed too loudly, and at some point she'll say, "And I'm just not ready to date again" your conversation could have NOTHING to do dating, but she'll find a way to bring it up if she has a clue that you're into her. In the language of girl this doesn't mean, "I'm just not ready for a relationship" it means "I'm ready for a relationship, but you're not the right one."

Girls are amazing, and clearly the better of the genders.

Within 30 seconds, a girl can evaluate a boy/man and think, "Yes, I can be with this guy" they are truly amazing. They can picture their future with you, maybe even marriage, the possible quarrels, and anything in-between. This could be based off of something as simple as having a cute smile.

Girls are attracted to random qualities in a guy, the trick is to be yourself, and the right one will come to you.

Now, there are a few types of girls, but they all essentially act the same.

There are the forward girls, these girls will text you constantly if they have your number, they'll post videos and comments to you facebook wall all the time, they'll want to spend time with you, and they'll really try to get you to hang out with them.

There are the silent girls, who will leave subtle hints that they are interested, such as visiting you randomly, or maybe even trying to get you to hang out with them and a group, but they won't be forward or try to make you hang out with them or notice them.

The thing that every type of girl desires, it doesn't matter what type of girl they are, they want to be pursued, that's the thing that ALL women share, even if they are independent and self-sufficient, and the kind who "don't need a man to complete them" they still want to be shown that they are your number one, and that no one else but them matters.

I don't care which girl you talk to, they all think the same way, they want to be the first and only.

Your trick is to pick up on the hints, and to pursue them. Not cat and mouse like, but by showing interest in them, again, echoing what everyone else has said, talk to them, communicate your feelings. If you're interested, and you've been talking for a few weeks, even a few days, let them know, "I'm really enjoying the time we've spent together" or "Hey, I really like you" gosh, just let them know you're interested.

At the same time, don't lack confidence or seem needy, or worse, desperate! That's the LAST thing a girl wants. To me, you're coming off like you want to rush things. I promise you, most, if not all girls, think that a guy who hasn't been kissed by your age is sweet and cute, and they would relish the idea of being the first girl you've kissed if they found out, but also, they don't want to feel like you want to hook up with them to get kissed or have sex. Unless you want a hook up, then you'll be able to spot the "easy girls" very fast.

Just remember always to keep your head up, appear confident, read the signs, and don't be a pansy when a perfectly good girl comes to your line. It's like fishing, you don't just get rid of a fish because it's not the one you're looking for. Dating is not like hunting. If something grabs your line, reel it in and see what it is, you can let it go later once you've inspected it, like you do in fishing. Now if you're hunting, dating can become a very dangerous game, and trust me friend, you don't want to go hunting fish. Girls have sixth, seventh, and eight senses, they can tell what your intentions are, and they will run away if they spot even a single ounce of inpropriety.

All the best of luck!

 

[mandoman]

that's some sage advice.
usually the connection happens when you are thinking something, look in her eyes, and can tell she's thinking the same thing.

 

[HunggGreek]

I don't mean to sound like I know too much, but I spend a lot of years studying and learning the language of "girl."

Girls are easy, they just talk around what they are saying sometimes.

Here's your hint to knowing she's NOT interested:

1) Within 1 minute, to 1 hour of your interactions with her, she'll bring up something about her ex, this could be something simple like he chewed too loudly, and at some point she'll say, "And I'm just not ready to date again" your conversation could have NOTHING to do dating, but she'll find a way to bring it up if she has a clue that you're into her. In the language of girl this doesn't mean, "I'm just not ready for a relationship" it means "I'm ready for a relationship, but you're not the right one."

Girls are amazing, and clearly the better of the genders.

Within 30 seconds, a girl can evaluate a boy/man and think, "Yes, I can be with this guy" they are truly amazing. They can picture their future with you, maybe even marriage, the possible quarrels, and anything in-between. This could be based off of something as simple as having a cute smile.

Girls are attracted to random qualities in a guy, the trick is to be yourself, and the right one will come to you.

Now, there are a few types of girls, but they all essentially act the same.

There are the forward girls, these girls will text you constantly if they have your number, they'll post videos and comments to you facebook wall all the time, they'll want to spend time with you, and they'll really try to get you to hang out with them.

There are the silent girls, who will leave subtle hints that they are interested, such as visiting you randomly, or maybe even trying to get you to hang out with them and a group, but they won't be forward or try to make you hang out with them or notice them.

The thing that every type of girl desires, it doesn't matter what type of girl they are, they want to be pursued, that's the thing that ALL women share, even if they are independent and self-sufficient, and the kind who "don't need a man to complete them" they still want to be shown that they are your number one, and that no one else but them matters.

I don't care which girl you talk to, they all think the same way, they want to be the first and only.

Your trick is to pick up on the hints, and to pursue them. Not cat and mouse like, but by showing interest in them, again, echoing what everyone else has said, talk to them, communicate your feelings. If you're interested, and you've been talking for a few weeks, even a few days, let them know, "I'm really enjoying the time we've spent together" or "Hey, I really like you" gosh, just let them know you're interested.

At the same time, don't lack confidence or seem needy, or worse, desperate! That's the LAST thing a girl wants. To me, you're coming off like you want to rush things. I promise you, most, if not all girls, think that a guy who hasn't been kissed by your age is sweet and cute, and they would relish the idea of being the first girl you've kissed if they found out, but also, they don't want to feel like you want to hook up with them to get kissed or have sex. Unless you want a hook up, then you'll be able to spot the "easy girls" very fast.

Just remember always to keep your head up, appear confident, read the signs, and don't be a pansy when a perfectly good girl comes to your line. It's like fishing, you don't just get rid of a fish because it's not the one you're looking for. Dating is not like hunting. If something grabs your line, reel it in and see what it is, you can let it go later once you've inspected it, like you do in fishing. Now if you're hunting, dating can become a very dangerous game, and trust me friend, you don't want to go hunting fish. Girls have sixth, seventh, and eight senses, they can tell what your intentions are, and they will run away if they spot even a single ounce of inpropriety.

All the best of luck!

Great advice man I realise it may come across as me wanting to rush things and that's kinda true but not in the way you mean haha. I want to figure out what signals to look for so I can get myself out there with some idea of what I'm doing sooner rather than later, it may have come across like I want to find a girl and rush into physical stuff

 

[helgaleena]

I hope some of the above works out in relation to the girls at your school, OP. Though I do not buy that '6th, 7th and 8th sense' line, it's true that a lot of females have learned how to speak in some sort of circuitous fashion that even I, a fellow female, never have gotten to understand. I've had ladies get exasperated with me and just have to blurt out a thing they were trying to hint at. But that's just me.

 

[g_whiz]

Most females are just as clueless and insecure as you. Humans tend to run with the personality types who resemble, or share resonance levels if you prefer, with themselves. If you spend time with people with similar hobbies and tastes, you are bound to meet females of the species who are not attached. Begin with them. Become friends, play games together, and so on, based on mutual interests, and before you know it there will be a few who seem like it's possible to confess that you'd sincerely like to progress to skin upon skin.

And remember, communication is key. As an undergrad I found myself throwing myself at plenty of startled young men because I knew so little about how one went about it. I know of no substitute for this. As you can see, I lived to be old. It took me decades to get anything resembling happiness.

I'm just going to point to this and say, I 100% agree. Communication is key. The only sure way to know how someone else feels about you is to inquire.

 

[HunggGreek]

Thanks guys Going out tomorrow night so I'll see if I can pick up on some interest hahaha, I'll report back afterwards

 

[rtg]

Internet dating can sometimes be good for shy people? I've done it on and off for years lol. I've met my majority of my ex-boyfriends and my current boyfriend through internet dating. Girls are mostly just as clueless are guys are...I know I am.