Ode to Madame Goose

D_Kitten_Kaboodle

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Just passing a rainy day...thought I'd have some fun with Mother Goose. A twist on some favoite children's nursery rhymes. The poetry is primary for sure...but then again, so were the originals. :biggrin1:


:cool: Little Boy Blue
Little Boy Blue, let me blow your horn
While you lie back and watch some porn.
I’ll make you hard, as hard can be.
Then I’ll lie back while you come over me. :bj:


(this one inspired by an LPSG friend of mine)
:240:Suzy Homewrecker (aka Suzy Homemaker)
Suzy, Suzy, Miss Homewrecker
how does your garden grow?
With well-hung males showing cocks and tails,
Those Chippendales....all in a row!
:bukkake::bukkake::bukkake:


:flirt: There Was a Hot Mama (There Was an Old Lady)
There was a hot mama who lived in a shoe
The gentlemen came calling two by two.:flowers1::flowers1:
They fucked her silly from head to toe
And as they left, they dropped the dough.

:bootyshake: She had silky legs and a really fine ass
A smooth little pussy that felt like glass.
A threesome was fun, but bukake was best.:bukkake2:
Throwing their cum over her face and huge chest.


:069: Cocksucker Cocksucker, My Son John
(Diddle, Diddle, Dumpling)

Cocksucker Cocksucker, my son John
Sucked his friends with his stockings on.

Fucked their ass and they fucked his.:adam4:
Together they shot a ton of jizz


I Saw a Threesome (Rub a Dub Dub):3some:
I saw a threesome my way come, and who do you think they be?

A dribbler, a shooter, a big-time squirter, perfectionists all three.
:wank:The dribbler’s dick was the size of a bat, big and thick and hard.
:wank:The shooter’s cock mimicked a bull and shot loads across the yard.
:clit:But the squirter was the best by far, taking both cocks easily.:18:
As I approached this erotic and sensual site, I saw the girl was ME.:boobies:



:banana:Jack Felinie (Jack Sprat)
Jack Felinie had a teenie weenie
His wife needed a foot-long dong.

:shocked: He watched her fuck that lucky duck,:borladuck:

Then realized that was so wrong!:banghead:

:wave: That's all for now....
 

willow78

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Hey everyone! Thanks for all the poetry - fucking hilarious!

Here are a few I remember from 7th grade:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Fingering away at her twat.
She stuck in her finger
And pulled out a stinker
And said, "Fuck, it's starting to rot!"

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Her dress was all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider
Who sat down beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Mary had a little bike
It had a little pump
Every time she hit a bump
The pump went up her c***
 

pbmonkey

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HICKERY DICKERY DOC
THIS BITCH WAS SUCKIN MY COCK
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO
I DUMPED MY GOO
AND DUMPED HER AT THE END OF THE BLOCK.


Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And the bitch got a bone of her own!
 

Oliver_Clothesoff

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When I was a kid we had one that went something like:

Mary had a little lamb and
Tied it to the heater.
Every time it turned around
It burned it's little
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keeper,
So he put her in a pumpkin shell,
And blew her all to
Hello, Operator, connect me number nine,
And if she doesn't answer,
Kick her in the
Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Where little Sally Sunshine
Skinned her little
Ask me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies.
But if you see a bucket of shit coming,
Be sure and close your eyes.
 

pbmonkey

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Warning, these two rhymes are kind of gross! But I find them funny.

Old Mag, the Sea hag
That slithering slimy slut
Between her thighs
Green fungus lies
and worms crawl out her butt
Before I would climb up her slimy body
To such her festered tits
I'd drink a bucket of buzzard puke
Then die the drizzlin' shits!



A confused young lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And bits of her tits were in Dallas!


 

Pitbull

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Fancy, yours seem like original works of art.
Hidden talent.

The others I either recognize or are admitted something someone heard before.

Anyone else with some original Mother Goosed?
 

willow78

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Another one from 7th grade:

Jack and Jill went to the dairy
Jack showed Jill his big and hairy
Jill said, "WOW! What a whopper!
Let's lay down and do it proper."

3 months later, all is well
6 months on, Jill starts to swell
9 months on, Snap! Crackle! Pop!
Out comes a kid with a 6 foot cock

But ladies and gentlemen, that's not all
The poor little kid only has one ball.
 

Pitbull

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Original


Mary Had a Little Lamb


Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go

It followed her to school one day

Which was against the rules.
It made the children laugh and play
To see a lamb at school

And so the teacher turned it out,

But still it lingered near
And waited patiently about
Till Mary did appear

"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"

The eager children cry
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
The teacher did reply






New One


Fancy Has Some Lovely Tits



Fancy has some lovely tits
They sway so to and fro
They make my penis stiffen
My cock I hopes she blow

I snuck into her bedroom one day
It was against the rules
But she laughed and wanted to play
With my swollen tool

So I made her scream and shout
For her orgasm lingered near
And with her tits bouncing about
My cum, it did appear

Why does Fancy love to fuck me so?
Orgasms bringing tears to her eyes
Why Fancy loves my cock you know
“Fuck me again!” I hear her cry
 
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Little Bo Peep
Has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
Her little beau Fred
Prefered sheep to Peep
And was found slamming his dick deep inside them.