i have about 6 long time close male friends & some of us have hung out since hs and are pretty open about anything, they've known about my switch-hitting since middle school. in college one of them started dating this chick, and eventually got married and had 2 kids with her. but from day one the rest of us instantly saw alot markers that would identify her as a lesbian, maybe we were gender profiling but: she was a phys ed teacher and girls volley ball coach had a typical softball player build (not at all hot but it's not cool to point that out to ur bud, or say "dude she's a lesbian!") we all would shake our heads and say "he's a good lookin guy , he could do soooooo much better" or "what's he doin with her?" she's very independent, she ran his life for him from the day they met, she had the better job and career. has a very masculine appearance and looked so much like a male movie star that we referred to her by that name behind his back. but apparently love is blind, & he wasn't the most experienced with women ( I would find out just how inexperienced he really was) and always wanted the whole married life dream and even though we were all in our early 20s he was in a hurry to make it happen. they got married and had 2 kids. none of us ever said anything to him about any of this because nobody wanted to be an ass. she never warmed up (was hostile actually) to the rest of us, so we went to/were in the wedding but rarely hung out with him after they got married. just b4 xmas he called me up and said he needed to talk to me, and when i asked "what about?" over the phone he wouldn't tell me, just that he needed to talk so i said "cool", and told him when i'd be home. he comes over to my place and after sayin "hi how u doin?" etc, he says he just might as well tell me.... " ____ came out to me 2 wks ago, she's gay! and we're getting a divorce". he asked me if i had heard about it already ( i hadn't) but apparently my lack of surprise made him think i had. it was all i could do not to scream "dude u really had no clue?????? EVER???? she's the fukin poster child for the "bull dyke lesbian" campaign!!! anyway he's a wreck now and also revealed to me that she was his first and only( i didnt' ask about any sex details, it wouldn't have been easy to hide my revulsion).....i tried to be a rock for him, and i think he told me first cuz he knows i'm bi.....maybe he thought i would be able to make it all make sense for him but i felt pretty helpless becuz i couldn't, and maybe a little guilty for not speaking up a long time ago and saving him from this drama. so my question is: does this happen alot? i know alot of gay dudes in the past got married & had kids becuz society was hostile towards gays, but i guess i never thought that was still happening and that lesbians would marry a str8 guy in the same way. any insight ladies? or dudes who married lesbians without knowing it.