Offended If He Got Hard From Porn For You?

marriedasian

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a question for the ladies here... imagine this scenario:

you come home to your man watching porn with a raging hard-on or catch him watching porn with a raging hardon and he suggest you two should fuck cause he's hard and ready to go... do you:

1. get naked, jump on it, and ride away cause the porn did all the work to get him hard.
2. get mad cause it makes you feel like he's using you to get off.
3. get really mad cause it wasn't you that got him hard and he's got the nerve to ask you to finish him off.

i ask this question as with me and my wife, i have done this plenty of times and she's always more than happy to finish me off. we've had good discussion about this particular scenario and her response is that she's okay with it cause "it's just porn and fantasy" and she knows i love her plus i'm ready to fuck right away (meaning she didn't have to try to get me hard, per se). "instant dick in her" is how she's puts it.

there have been a few times when i'm watching porn and she'll walk in and just suck me off while telling me to literally keep watching... again, this is just how it works with me and my wife and i do not advocate or condone the practice. i've personally never used porn to get hard and then go fuck my wife but i brought up that scenario and she was okay with it too. she says as long as she gets fucked, she's okay how it comes. perhaps my wife and i just have this deeper understanding and trust but i was wondering how other women felt about it?

how would you take this if it was your boyfriend or husband? would you feel less desired if he's getting hard from porn then wanting to fuck you thereafter?

thanks in advance for the honest feedback. i only asked as my wife and i are both curious to know what other ladies think.
 

MickeyLee

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Am I already horny in this scenario?

Walking in on a dude, even my dude, watching porn does nothing for me.

The idea of "finishing him off" makes me sound like a masturbatory sleeve with a pulse.

I am not really a co-porn watcher. Unless it's really cheese 70s porn and mixed drinks are being passed around.

Honest answer? I would apologize for interrupting him and leave him to do whatever he was doing. I don't care if he watches porn. I would be deeply concerned to find him watching gonzo/women degrading porn.

Also "porn doing all the hard work" I like exciting the boy. When he goes from mild mannered boy to walking sex drive man.
 

AlteredEgo

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I have never had to work hard to get a healthy man to show me an erection. The only man with whom I ever had to work hard at it, was literally a cyborg. Partially artificial heart, no pulse, blood pressure only detectable through radar. One day, his doctor asked me if he needed help. I nodded and she gave him the little blue pills. Afterwards, he was like every other man I ever knew biblically. All I ever have to do is show up, pay attention, be myself. Boiiiiing! When two people are really into each other, it doesn't take much. It just takes the things that put them together in the first place. It's organic. Easy.

I don't want anything, including porn, to come between me and a partner's mutual desire. And, as I wrote, I don't need the help. Still, if I catch him warming up for solo time, what should I do? My habit in such a case is to ask if it is okay for me to join, if I become interested. At that point, it's up to him to know that he needs to help me catch up to his level of arousal. All he has to do is be himself. Bring me along for the ride. Turn me on. Just do not treat me like an object.
 

marriedasian

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thank you for your responses ladies. although not many replied, my wife and i was already expecting that she and i are kinda the weird outliers in this scenario. perhaps it's that we're so totally open sexually in and out of bed as well as within ourselves and each other that we can go along with such scenarios and not think twice about any underlying motives.

don't be afraid to share more ladies. i'm always curious to hear more opinions, both good and bad. thanks in advance!
 
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..what..? Getting him hard is part of the fun. I'm not going to be offended or anything like it if he got hard from some porn. I don't get mad about random/accidental boners, either.

As for just hopping on him? Probably not. I don't walk around or exist in a constant state of arousal. I like having sex 1-2 times a day on average when we can manage it, but just walking in the door from whatever, I'm probably not aroused. I would let him finish his thing, and be elsewhere.

I don't leave my sex toys out/porn running at random, I tend to be pretty subtle about that kind of thing. I don't get caught masturbating, either. It's just not my way, especially knowing he has a lower libido than me. I don't want him to feel pressured at all.
 
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I've never experienced this... I've never caught my guy watching porn OR masturbating. The closest is with an ex BF going to show me something on his iPad and when it opened, there were tons of porn images which he quickly closed while saying "I don't know where that came from" as I was saying "please, show me what you like". nope, it wasn't happening... he was too red-faced.

In the instance you described, I'm not sure what I'd do. If I was in the mood/right headspace, I might give him oral... and if I was able to catch up, then have sex. If not, I'd probably just let him finish what he was doing. I would not be mad or anything.
 

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He doesn't watch porn to get hard for me. He just thinks of fucking me and he's hard.

I don't catch him in the act, because he's either already satisfied from fucking me, or he has the consideration to time it so that I won't be interrupting him.

I came home early one time and disrupted him, it frustrated both of us. He didn't know it was me driving up, and I came in and he was already zipping up, lost his hard-on. After we were done being flustered we smoked a bowl and fucked.

We don't utilize porn almost at all anymore. We just think about it anymore. It was a phase I guess, watching together. Things are much more interesting/satisfying when there's nothing to focus on but each other.
 
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marriedasian

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You left out "Disgusted."

If I caught him watching porn and he told me he's ready, I'd tell him to hurry up and finish and wash his hands.

i left that one out cause it was already a dead-given in this scenario for the majority (in my opinion). it was the other options that i was interested in seeing if they existed amongst women.
 

AlteredEgo

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i left that one out cause it was already a dead-given in this scenario for the majority (in my opinion). it was the other options that i was interested in seeing if they existed amongst women.
I have heard of women who consider it cheating, or consider it gross, or otherwise objectionable for their dude to watch pornography, but I don't personally know any. The women I know assume their partners watch porn because porn watching among men is assumed, by many women, to be ubiquitous. It's not a problem, it's a given.

Where disgust comes in, for me anyway, would be entitlement. He's not entitled to insert his erection into my agenda. I may allow him to do so. It would go like this.

I enter a room in which he is busy coaxing or satisfying a hard on while watching adult content. I take a good look at his viewing material, and ogle his body before excusing myself so he can have his privacy. He asks if I want to stay. If I do want to stay, I will either join him in watching, or we may get rid of it altogether. I'm interested, but not aroused. He will do what it takes to get me to match his excitement. I will do what it takes to maintain his excitement. He will not simply expect me to get him off. I wouldn't deal with that kind of dude.

I don't care about pornography if I'm getting my needs met.
 

LaFemme

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I’m kind of ‘meh’ about porn. If I catch him, I’m more than likely to excuse myself and give him his privacy. I do think it’s normal for some porn watching to exist, but it’s no longer my thing. I’d rather I be the reason for his appetite than porn, but I guess sometimes I would never know.
 

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He has a serious archive but doesn't exaggerate and I am aware of it since our first day together. The majority of it is of women who resemble me and personally I find it flattering. Quoting; some of it is for his fantasies, including me, some for exploring further ones as porn allows him to move from brain to eye and others are reenactments of his past.
He masturbates in the beginning of my red week, when we are apart or when he is extremely aroused for a reason.
I only watch when he finds something "interesting" and wants to show me. (It is his way of shyly checking out my opinion as he wants to try it in the future. Or right then and there.
I am good with all of the above.