Offered Sex With Brother's Wife

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by RioDalston, Jun 22, 2011.

  1. RioDalston

    RioDalston Well-Known Member

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    My older brother was injured in a car crash 13 years ago and is confined to a wheelchair. He has some feeling in his legs but can not use them. As for sex, he is able to perform but not well, not consistently/on-demand and apparently has been losing function in this area for some time.

    Last night I spoke to him (arrangements for travelling to a wedding) and he dropped bombshells that A) for the past 4/5 years he's been allowing other men to pleasure his wife for him and B) would I be interested?!

    Apparently it took him and his wife a whole to get their heads round the situation but now she regularly (like once a month) has sex with other men - mutual friends and internet hook-ups. My brother sometimes watches or joins in as much as he can but not always.

    His wife brought up the question of whether I'd be interested in being one of her lovers and so he asked me.

    I have to say that every sensible bone in my body is screaming "no!" but something about the idea of having sex with my brothers wife that he knows about keeps turning me on. He wouldn't be involved, or even watching, but he'd know what we were doing and when.

    I'm genuinely considering it. Everyone seems to be being very level-headed about it.

    But I'm confused. Any advice? Advice from men in my brother's position would be really welcome.
     
  2. RioDalston

    RioDalston Well-Known Member

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    Also, I'd give his wife 7 out of 10 for her age. Good but I'm not desperate.
     
  3. tgirlsrgreat

    Verified Gold Member

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    sounds sick and twisted to me
     
  4. RioDalston

    RioDalston Well-Known Member

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    Also, they don't know I have sex with men.
     
  5. london_bi

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    I could do it for you!
     
  6. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I got a baaaad feeling about this.
     
  7. RumperRoom

    RumperRoom New Member

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    Consenting adults, as long as everything is open and honest. Like with any other partners, full disclosure is a must.
     
  8. Pompeynate

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    No, I don't think you should. Just seems very wrong to me & it could end up wrecking your relationship with your brother...
     
  9. RioDalston

    RioDalston Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. It could just get messy.

    It's basically my head vs my dick but I think my head is winning.

    Hopefully neither of them will be offended or feel awkward that I know about that part of their life.

    If they'd asked me 5 years ago I think I'd have said yes straight away.
     
  10. hungthickone

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    I am not sure what I would do, except that if I declined , it would be with utmost respect and appreciation for their consideration. They both must think highly of you, and I wouldn't judge them on anything else.
     
  11. NY4Curious

    NY4Curious New Member

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    I believe in strict Thalmudic Law it is a brother moral obligation to satisfy his brother's wife if the brother is unable to do it.
    I would say if you believe you can make it a beautiful and loving exchange, by all means take this poor woman to bed. Living with a wheel chair bound man who is loosing the use of his legs is a terrible nightmare and that they have arrived at the level of emotional maturity that they have while dealing with your brothers physical probems to me only indicates what beautiful and tender people they are.
    I would like to add, I would suggest that you and the wife have your first encounter alone to test your compatibility. If you truly appreciate each other sexually, then I think it would be best if you include your brother in everything you and his wife do. (If you're at his house for the evening, the three of you have dinner together, have your brother in the room when foreplay begins but in a situation where he may leave if he
    wishes.
    For you, it is your duty and obligation as a brother to be totally honest with both of them about your feelings. Making love to his wife should never turn into an obligation, it should be a way of sharing the love you have for your brother.
    All of you need to be mature enough to tell the other two if they want to the relationship to stop or change it in any way.
    Good luck and please enjoy the opportunity to be uniquely generous that your brother has given you.
     
  12. B_stanmarsh14

    B_stanmarsh14 New Member

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    It's a double edged sword this one.

    On one hand, you would do everything you possibly could for a family member, who needs your help, but other side, is it's your bro's wife you will be fucking, and is a line you would never want to cross normally.

    I will say though, it's taken great courage and trust from BOTH your brother and his wife, to approach you like this, and I guess if there is one person in this world they would be best trusting to do a job like this, it's you, and not some stranger.

    All I will say is, if you do decide to help them out, you MUST above everything else, make CLEAR and HARD rules concerning this, and it must be stuck with TO THE LETTER!

    I sure don't as hell envy your situation at all, and I would pretty much ask the same of myself.
     
  13. B_bi_mmf

    B_bi_mmf New Member

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    It is unclear to me why they are interested in you if she already has men who satisfy her sexually, and your brother is cool with that.

    I think you should discuss further with them why they are turning to you. Is it that they are really unhappy with the other guys and that they have some notion that since you truly care about him they would be more comfortable trusting you as her exclusive partner?

    If you would just be one of several who will continue to fuck her, then I would suggest saying "no, thanks."

    This would create an emotionally complex situation, and it sounds likely that your brother depends on your support in non-sexual dimensions of his life. It would be a shame to put that at risk.

    You should also be straight with them about your other sexual behavior and any risks they would be taking on.
     
  14. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    I agree with this and want to add the simplistic wisdom: the fewer roles any individual has in your life, the easier it is to manage them. These people already play the role of Brother and Sister in Law to them. Why complicate things by adding lover; sex whisperer (or whatever it's called these days) confidant; walker.

    Have you thought how they will feel when you decide to get on with your romantic life and bring your partner to family functions. Will she be able to give a stoic sigh to the turn of events or will she become vindictive at the loss of one of her lovers. You haven't given us an assessment as to how mature either of these people are. But still, what I say above is the way I manage relationships these days.
     
    #14 ConstantComment, Jun 22, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2011
  15. D_Rufus_D_Dufus

    D_Rufus_D_Dufus Account Disabled

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    I would say no.. you have to draw the line somewhere. Let's just say his wife ends up developing an emotional attachment to you or vice versa. Everytime you visit them is she going to expect it?
     
  16. ThongerDude

    ThongerDude New Member

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    I think your brother and sister-in-law turned to you because they trust you and probably prefer having you satisfy her sexual needs than internet hookups. Maybe they want to use you and their common friends and dump the internet hookups.

    I would consider it a compliment that they turned to you and trust you enough to tell you this. Whether you have the emotional strength and stability to handle this situation is up to you. At any rate, I would treat her with total respect however you choose to do her or not do her.
     
  17. kurios

    kurios Member

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    Don't go there
     
  18. RioDalston

    RioDalston Well-Known Member

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    Just spoke with my brother again, and his wife this time.

    We clarified their reasons for choosing me - they only allow guys they know they can trust to totally respect their relationship and not upset their family life. Guys who can have no-strings sex, but respectfully.

    They chose multiple partners in an effort to stop any feelings of romance that regularity might spark - so I would just be one of her lovers for that reason.

    My brother and his wife are both really ok with this and the more we talk the less awkward it sounds. She's actually been really sweet about the whole thing and very complimentary but not in a seductive way.

    We're seeing each other at the weekend at the wedding I mentioned in Hull and we've agreed to talk about it face to face then.

    I'm more open to the idea after having talked it through more but I'm not 100% but they're not pressuring me so either way we'll still have a good relationship - though we do only see each other every few months due to the distance.
     
  19. bighornso

    bighornso New Member

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    I want to know her age and your age? Do you think their decision would change if they find out that you sleep around with guys?
     
  20. RioDalston

    RioDalston Well-Known Member

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    I'm almost 30, she's 38. My brother's 42.

    I wouldn't let this go ahead without them knowing I fuck men. So if I feel uncomfortable "coming out" then it can't go ahead.
     
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