Ogled in the locker room is this harmless?

[13788]

longhardon28: hey everyone

today i went to the gym at my college and worked out for about an hour. i went downstairs to the locker room to change and take a shower and, when i got to my locker, i saw that there was this dude finishing changing at the locker next to mine. i don't have a problem being nude in front of other guys, so i stripped naked to go take a shower. throwing my towel over my shoulder, i noticed this guy was staring, totally shamelessly, at my soft cock. i'm not HUGE hard or soft, but i just worked out, so my circulation was good and my penis, though soft, was plump and hanging pretty low. i decided, whatever, i guess this happens sometimes (i know it has to lots of other guys on this board), and walked into the shower room.

i was washing my body and hair, not worrying about who was seeing me - i was only one of two dudes in the shower at the time - when i looked over towards the door out of the shower, which leads into a bathroom, and saw this guy standing at a urinal, leaning back to look through the door into the shower. he was still looking at me. i looked away, and tried not to think about it, but when i looked back a few moments later, he was standing at a different urinal, still ogling me. i decided, fuck this, i'm finishing my shower whatever this perv is doing, and did just that.

when i went back to my locker to get dressed, he was standing at a DIFFERENT locker near mine, ostensibly stretching his legs and arms, but staring at me and my cock whenever he got the chance. once i looked over, and there was a noticeable (but certainly not lpsg-sized) bulge in his gym shorts. he looked at me and ran his hand along the elastic band of his shorts. i got dressed quickly and headed out.

on the way out i stopped in the bathroom and pissed in a urinal. as i was pissing, this guy came over and stood at the urinal two down from me. when i was shaking off the last drops from my dick, i noticed that there was some movement next to me, looked over, and saw this guy rubbing his semi-hard cock. i left the locker room as quickly as i could.

i walked up the stairs out of the gym and, when i was almost at the top, i looked over my shoulder to see if the dude was following me. i saw him standing at the bottom of the stairs for a brief second. he smiled and waved goodbye. i started walking even faster.

he didn't try to follow me out of the gym, or talk to me, or anything. i'm just wondering if this guy, who goes to my school, is probably just a harmless dude who liked the sight of my cock and wanted to see if i was into that stuff, or whether i should be more worried. i suspect it's the former, but i wanted to check with the experts to see what you guys think.

it's not that i mind being seen naked. i just want to make sure this was a harmless incident.

thanks in advance for your help.

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

Hey man, I wouldn't really worry about it too much. I have been in a situation like this before as I am sure have other members. More than likely the guy was just looking to see if you wanted to get off with him. However, since he didn't follow you or make any more advert advances it will probably stay at the gym. If it happens again though I would ask him to stop or report him to the front desk. Since you showed no sign of interest though I would doubt if you did encounter him again at the gym that he would reprise his actions from before. Hope that helped a little. Take it easy

 

[kurios]

Agree with JWB. Since it was just creepy in the gym if there is a next time just go up to him and ask him to knock it off that it kinda bothers you having someone staring at you.

 

[13788]

joe22xxx: I used to worry about this stuff too when I was in HS. It's all cool,man. After a while as you become more comfortable with your body & dick, you won't care who looks at you. lol.

If the guy is really harassing you, then talk to him about it. But be gentle with him. It might be difficult for him to admit what's going on. He may just be attracted to you but doesn't know how to deal with it, except by coming on to you sexually. This happens a lot where I go to college & I'm learning how to deal with it without hurting other people. He's not a bad person. Just horny.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

You said that you don't have a problem being nude in front of other guys, but you clearly have a problem being nude in front of this guy. Trust your instincts. If the dude makes you uncomfortable, there's usually a reason. He clearly likes looking at your cock. Well, be thankful your cock is attractive enough to get appreciative looks. I'm not sure what he's after. Gay? Straight? Bi? Hard to tell, and it really doesn't matter. It's possible that he'd like to engage in a jack-off duet with you. It's possible he wants to get a bit heavier than that. It's also possible that he just likes looking at good-looking dicks. Whatever his purpose, you don't have to oblige him if you're not into that ... or into him in particular. I think you've made it clear that you're not interested. Leave it alone and I think he'll get the message. I would personally avoid confronting him about it unless he's particularly persistent. Harmless? Yeah; that would be my guess.

 

[Bradleem]

That person was totally out of line. It is one thing to look at a guy once or twice, but this guy was stalking you, for lack of a better term.

If you want it to stop you need to tell him that you do not appreciate his behaviour. If he continues then report him to the office.

All guys look at each other when they are naked but most guys do not pursue a person like this. Gays and str8s that are interested in bjs by other guys, know the routine and they do not behave like this.

Some guys would have gotten pretty verbal with that dude, he was lucky you were a nice guy.

 

[Donk]

This post really hits home for me because I have found myself in this situation many times. First, to set your mind at ease, the guy is almost certainly harmless. In all likelihood, he is secretly afraid that he is going to piss you off and get beaten up. If it happens again and you just confront him and tell him to knock it off, in all likelihood he will do so.

Anyway, as I say, I can relate to what you are describing. I am straight and the gym I usually go to has a pretty large gay population plus I have worked out at many other gyms during my travels. Because of my size (I usually hang at least 7" soft) I have gotten my share of stares in the locker room from straight and gay guys alike. (You can usually tell the straight guys because they make more of an effort to look like they're not looking&#33 Though I'm straight and have no interest in exploring gay sex in any form, I don't mind a respectful look from another guy. I even find it flattering. As DMW says, I'm thankful my dick is attractive enough that someone likes to look at it. (A few times I have been especially flattered when I realized that a gay guy at the gym was checking me out and obviously finding me attractive before he even saw my penis. Reinforces the fact that I have more going for me than just that appendage.)

But really obvious, stalking-type behavior crosses the line. It is rude and makes me feel uncomfortable and creepy. I have had several guys use the kind of tactic you describe--making obvious efforts to follow me around to get a look. And a few have gone even farther, making verbal comments and some even trying to grab at my crotch. That really crosses a line and is uncalled for. I pay my gym dues so I can work out and use the locker facilities in peace so I don't have to drive home all sweaty and stinky. I don't regard skipping the locker room as a viable option--I have as much right as any other gym member to use that facility in peace. If I start showering at home, the terrorists have won!

But, again, in my experience, the guys who do this "stalking" always turn out harmless when confronted. It doesn't take much to get the message across--it's usually enough just to say something like "Uh, my girlfriend really would not appreciate that."

 

[B_8strong8long]

See, I think this guy longhardon28 talked about went too far. I don't mind being looked at--I even like it, being that I'm a bit of exhibitionist. I'm straight, but not narrow as the saying goes (I'm not threatened by gay guys). If somebody wants to peep my penis, hetero or homo, in the locker room, which has happened, that's okay.

It's the fact that this guy followed you all over the place that went too far, that to me was creepy behavior. And he didn't say anything. I had a guy once offer very bluntly to suck my big dick, which I refused and that was fine. (well, it wasn't fine because he tried to grab it next, and suffice to say I had to hit him... no is no. But it wasn't that he made an advance on me that was a problem, it was that he invaded my personal space.)

This guy following you all over didn't give you the opportunity to say you weren't interested, and maybe he's shy but still it's weird. I mean, if I was to stalk some girl that way she'd think I was a rapist or something. It just isn't the way to interact. I'd tell him so next time. And, I don't want to be an alarmist or anything, but honestly Jeffrey Dahmer seemed like a nice shy guy too (but maybe I watch/read/write too many horror stories).

 

[KinkGuy]

Is the guy creepy? Yes. Is he out of line? Yes. Is he enamored with you? Sounds like it. Do you need to make a big deal out of it? I don't think so. Usually, guys like this one are LOOKING for a strong reaction from you whether it's sex or watching you squirm. It validates their behavior on some strange level. My advice? Don't change your behavior in the slightest. Don't let him get the upper hand and don't address the occurrence(s) at all. He wants you to react and if you don't, he will probably just get bored and wander off and wank off. Just ignore him.

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

Honestly, it sounds like he really wanted a good look at your tackle. I don't think he has the bravery or the drive to pursue you for anything further. He just caught a glimpse of a good looking soft cock, and perhaps he wanted a better look -- hopefully to see how big that thing got when it's hard or what not.

You have a right to appreciate contact like this, just like you have the same right to voice your concern or to feel uncomfortable. I got the impression that you don't really care too much for being nude in a locker room -- hell, most guys aren't even that open -- but that this guy crossed a line with you. Maybe it wasn't enough for you to forcibly pin him up against a locker, glare, and threaten to cut his balls off if he got within twenty feet of you. But, hey, you didn't want him gawking... and that's fine.

I agree with Kink. Don't change your routine. God forbid you should suddenly start glancing about 360 degrees the moment you step in the locker room, or worse, visit that gym less often. (And boy do I regret having slacked off this summer myself&#33 That's not necessary. If the guy keeps hounding you, talk him to directly; and if you're not cool with that, let a gym official know. Behavior like that isn't treated lightly.

But if it helps, take a minute to laugh about this. Really... if the guy's practically breaking his neck getting a look at your meat, it must mean it's worth looking at, right? And from the pictures you've posted, you're doing pretty good in that department.

 

[13788]

relatedtonone256: Uh - can I ask what level of school this is? College I'm assuming.

Yeah - curiousity may be healthy - but it can border on weird really quick. I wouldnt mind it unless it progresses. If it does, yeah, you should report the incident to security.

 

[13788]

kudo451: you got a lot of good advice here longhardon but obviously your not feeling any better about the situation so I pressume your still trying to process the whole thing. Let me give you the not so PC version here and maybe that will help:

You got cruised. But even by cruising standards this guy was way out of line. The thing is cruising is a very subtle thing and if you get caught up in the moment like this guy did, its easy to miss the obviuos signals you where throwing off that should have told him no.

The result is that you feel violated but since nothing "physical" happened, as a man you don't feel justifyed in feeling violated. Its a wicked feeling but truth is you gotta go with your gut here. If you feel like you got violated then you did. It has absolutely nothing to do with your general attitude at the gym or your masculinity. You didn't do anything wrong!!!

This is your first time so you need to understand this. Doesn't matter what your body type is or how big your cock is, at some point in your life whether your gay, straight, or bi, your bound to get cruised by another guy. if it gets uncomfortable don't lose your grip just look him in the eye and let him know you don't get down like that. if he keeps that shit up you report his ass as a favor to me! Because he is giving all of us a bad name!!!angry:

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

It may very be possible that he was smitten with you there, LH. On the other hand, he could've also been a predator in training. The fact that he watched your every move is a curious one, tho I would not encourage him to do so again. If you find this happening again, confront him directly, and ask what his intention is behind this.

 

[Steve26]

Hi, LH -- I've had several occasions where someone's behavior in the locker room crossed the line and I got seriously creeped out. Once I even discovered a guy jacking off in the corner while watching me. The good news is that none of this leering or misbehavior has ever escalated to a situation where I felt I was in danger.

While I'm usually very comfortable being nude in the locker room, I do easily get spooked by any guy who's obviously at the gym only to exercise his eyeballs. You know, the type who are showering when I go into the pool to swim laps and STILL showering when I emerge 30-40 minutes later. My own solution whenever I detect some creep like this is that I'll just keep my swimsuit on during my shower if he's around. OK, maybe this is capitulating in some way, "letting the terrorists win," but it's what makes me comfortable, and certainly serves to discourage the offending behavior.

If this guy continues to loiter around you I would suggest that you keep a (not very revealing) swimsuit in your locker and wear it into the showers whenever he's there. Keep your back studiously turned toward him while changing. Use a stall instead of a urinal. Make yourself scarce in general if he's around. In my experience, if an ogler is deprived of the peeks that he so desperately wants, he'll eventually lose interest and buzz off.

Hope this helps -- and good luck!!

~ Steve

 

[jonb]

Sounds like a stalker. You don't have to take that kind of thing. Tell him you don't like being ogled. If he still ogles you, get a restraining order.

 

[Iathick]

Based on what ur updated message shows, it appears that it should be over. Just continue ur normal workout routine and see what happens for the next few days.

 

[KinkGuy]

I think you made yourself clear. Your "studliness" made him crazy and he was hoping against hope....that you might be inclined his direction. HOWEVER, this guy isn't going to become a friend and from what you have said, I don't think you would want to. Just need to completely ignore him from now on. You don't need to be hostile or macho, butch rude, just oblivious. He knows, you know, end of report. Try to be a little flattered at the attention....consider yourself blessed that you turn heads....regardless of sexuality! B)

 

[Donk]

It sounds like you handled it exactly right. Assuming he got the message (which he probably did) he will probably leave you alone from now on (even if he secretly tries to sneak a glimpse now and then). That has been my experience with several guys that I have had the same basic conversation with. As long as you leave them alone, they will generally leave you alone forever after. I would definitely recommend against acknowledging him or trying to be at all friendly in the future. Yes, it's always nice to make new friends, but there is a strong risk that he will mistake your friendliness for a sign that you might just change your mind if he keeps hitting on you. It's best to avoid that situation by not giving him any encouragement.

Here's a true story about one of the most blatant "locker room stalkers" I have dealt with: This guy caught sight of me when I was getting dressed. He was with his boyfriend/workout partner and he started whispering very excitedly to the bf and making gestures in my direction. I couldn't hear the conversation, but it was obviously something like "check out that guy's . . . " A little while later I am headed out to my car and the guy follows me out and approaches me and just blurts out, "Dude, you have a huge dick." I just said, "yeah, I guess so." Then his bf came into sight and he took off--obviously, he was hoping to cheat on his bf with me and did not want the bf to know of this plan.

I get in my car and stop at a store on the way home. Turns out the guy has actually followed me in his car! He follows me into the store and comes up to me and asks, "Do you ever play around?" OK, I thought, this is getting way out of hand. So I politely but very firmly just said, "Not with guys." That's all I had to say. He backed off and left me alone. He never bothered me again. Since then (this was a few years ago) I have seen him at the gym several times and he never even acknowledged me. The point of this story: the stalking incident itself was very uncomfortable and close to being scary, but it was easily dealt with.

 

[B_8strong8long]

Agreed on all points, I think you handled it well longhardon28. I don't think he'll bother you anymore, and I think ignoring him is the best course of action now.

 

[13788]

kudo451: Way to go longhardon 28. That was exactly the way you deal with it!

And "NO" you shouldn't acknowledge him any further. kinkguy is right any further attention and he might contrue it as a change of heart. At this point, he is going to give you all the space his warped little mind will allow him too.

These guys really aren't dangerous or violent. Danger or violence is what "they" actually fear most. But its the calm cool guys who are not afraid or interested in them, and say so, that holds them accountable to show some decency.

Cruising is common amoung gay men but a few guys get so addicted to it they start to believe that every guy would at the least welcome their attention. Thats why confrontation works--its the only feedback they ever get. In their mind its like leaning on a car and having the alarm go off.

...on the super cynical side though, must be a little disconcerting to discover that straight men a not the top of the food chain.