Ogled in the locker room is this harmless?

[Bluespeedoz]

Hi there,
You were the only person there and therefore I think you are the only person who can decide if this incident was harmless or not. Clearly no physical harm to you has occurred but you have nevertheless been left wondering if the guy was harmless or not. So while you do not say so I conclude this guy through his actions has left you with some negative feelings.

You're clearly comfortable being naked around guys - it's great and normal - and this should not change. The guy wouldn't seem to be interested in you as a person but was interested in your cock, it's size, your body and so on. That to a point is normal too but I think his persistent behaviour was unwanted and inappropriate.

You need to look at this incident positively perhaps by taking the view he was envious even jealous of your appearance shape and so on and that he meant no harm.

If however he persists with this behaviour I believe you should re-examine your feelings and challenge him about his behaviour by having a private word with him. Tell him that no matter his motives you find his persistent behaviour unacceptable and that you expect it to stop immediately. I think you'll find he stops.

If he continues to persist or his behavior worsens you may have to consider taking additional action - ie report him to the college authorities or, as I would, resort to physical action.

I hope this helps and that you won't change your outlook on being around naked men in the lockerroom as I think this a very normal situation for guys - str8, bi or gay - to be in.

Mike

 

[Bluespeedoz]

Hi again,

Just read your update of the situation. I'm glad you had a word and that his behaviour has ceased. You handled the situation assertively and got your desired outcome.

One point. He'll probably target another guy and get a kick in the ass for his troubles. That's his problem not yours.

I hope you continue to enjoy working out and attain whatever goals you have set yourself.

Mike

 

[13788]

pghcyclist:

Originally posted by kudo451@Sep 15 2004, 10:03 AM
You got cruised. But even by cruising standards this guy was way out of line. The thing is cruising is a very subtle thing and if you get caught up in the moment like this guy did, its easy to miss the obviuos signals you where throwing off that should have told him no.

A very similar thing happened to a cow-orker of mine just this past week. It freaked him out too, especially the stalking behavior. My suggestion to him was, if the guy behaves like this again, is to look at him and shake your head "NO." The guy is obviously crossing the line, but probably is not interpretting the signals he is getting from his stalkee. Things like, "he sees me looking, and he's looking at me. is he interested? maybe. he's shy. he's playing hard to get." An unambigous "no" without even having to talk to him should clear up any confusion.

If he continues to stalk you, and you're still uncomfortable, complain to the management of the gym and have them deal with it.

 

[13788]

kudo451: mmmn,
actually I would caution being less subtle in warding off a cruiser. A simple and quiet "no" or shaking of the head, might put him in the mind that you are not interested in him or your just not interested "right now". It can also be interpreted as a warning not to engage in cruising action. its like staring or frowning it can be interpreted in more ways than you can imagine. Don't expect anyone to read your mind in life. That will save you a lot of time and hassle. It is far more beneficial to be controled, specific, and direct. Don't leave them with any optional interpretations.

( You think this is bad, you should see the disaster that happens in a multiple language/culture setting! lol)

 

[AlligatorJack]

i know some guys follow girls around to get them to talk to them, that seems normal to me, if a guy kept trying to initiate something with you because he was attracted to you, i dont see any reason to get upset

 

[13788]

joe22xxx:

Originally posted by AlligatorJack@Sep 19 2004, 05:27 PM
i know some guys follow girls around to get them to talk to them, that seems normal to me, if i get kept trying to initiate something with you because he was attracted to you, i dont see any reason to get upset

[post=256638]Quoted post[/post]​

Yes, this is really the same thing, although it's hard for guys to see the behavior in themselves or to be an object of interest to others, especially other males.

I know guys who come on to girls in the most obnoxious ways it's embarressing to watch. But somehow when a guy comes on to another guy we get all offended, and don't like being treated like a piece of meat.

I've seen reverse role-playing on some shows on the Comedy Channel, where the girls oogle the guys,make comments about their packages, and slap their butts. It's funny seeing this behavior, but turn-about is really difficult for most guys, me included.