ok...who has an alcoholic in their family?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    just asking...
     
  2. Northland

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Messages:
    6,082
    Likes Received:
    4
    They exist. Three of them. I will tell no more about them.
     
  3. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,048
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    Well my great uncle basicly drank himself to death years ago, my dad's brother is a recovered alcoholic was a drunk for 30+years now goes to AA and has been sober for over a year. My mom's cousin is a drunk...he has gotten so many DUIs that they finally took his licence away.
     
  4. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    then i shall ask no more about it.
    how does the family deal with them?
    what made the dry guy get dry?
     
  5. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    Both of my grandfathers were alcoholics; both of my parents are (still) active alcoholics and abuse drugs. My sister was a self-destructive alcoholic and drug addict from the age of 14 (she'd say younger) until she got sober in 1990 and hasn't picked up anything since.

    One of my first cousins is a junkie and a drunk and hasn't been as successful as my sister in controlling it; his brother (whom I don't know) is reported to have issues with alcohol, and his sister (whom I haven't seen in 35 years) apparently now abstains from drugs and alcohol completely after a troubled youth (I never saw her sober, once).

    On my mother's side, her sister (my aunt, and her husband when he was alive) is/was an alcoholic, as is their son. I don't specifically know anything about their three daughters but presume that at least one has had her issues, as she was a real wild child.

    With all this alcoholism and drug addiction in my family, I take booze very very seriously and am highly conscious of my consumption, which has occasionally been excessive in my life but never out-of-control. I have also spent years of abstinence when I didn't touch a drop, and with the very rare exception of a puff or two of weed have refrained from any illicit drug use since I was 23 (almost 27 years ago).

    My sister chose abstinence because she was killing herself and could finally see it.
     
  6. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    bbucko, that is seriously fucking depressing.
     
  7. Pendlum

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    2,151
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    My grandpa was, but quit after he got liver cancer etc etc.

    My parents drink heavily, but I don't know if it would qualify as alcoholism.

    Virtually everyone I know drinks.
     
  8. Ren69

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2007
    Messages:
    1,570
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    202
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    I had to live with many alcoholic men in my childhood, the things were horrible then for me, my mother loved these men, just for sex, sex, sex, sex, that was all they gave her, they were some moments that I knew my mother hated me and they did me horrible things, the worst moment in my life was my childhood, Im still depressed and sad for all the things I had to live, I didnt had a happy childhood like other kids, always alone and sad, no friends, no family to support me, my childhood was a nightmare, something horrible I dont want to live again...
     
  9. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    it's a blurry line...

    hard to know if someone just drinks more than they should or is actually a wino.
     
  10. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    there are few things more shitty than a parent choosing a bottle or a fuck over their own kids.

    you deserved better than that.
     
  11. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    The difference, and it's an important one, is whether or not they can actively function without alcohol and/or drugs: addiction is different from abuse, though only of kind.

    Example: you go out every Friday after work with pals and toss back a half-dozen beers; it makes you social, and as you do not drive afterwards, you're harming no one but yourself. But if you cannot ever be social without a bracer, that's trouble.

    If you drink every night, that's trouble.

    If you can't have sex without a bump or slam, that's trouble.

    If you can't face your family on holidays without alcohol (or a bump or puff or whatever), it's trouble.

    If you're bored and lonely at night and toke or sip habitually while watching TV or perusing the threads on LPSG, that could be trouble.

    If you've had the day from hell and paint the town red or sit at home and polish off a coupla bottles of wine, that's probably just being human.

    If you habitually enjoy a decent vintage with your meals, that's probably because you're enjoying life, not attempting to erase it on a daily basis.

    Drunks have issues with reality: they can't cope and feel powerless to actualize change. So they self-medicate and wallow in self-pity. I have little patience with drunks; none if they decide to aggress on others. Their shit's none of my concern until it impacts me, then I withdraw.

    It's only depressing if I fail to learn from others and make corrections in my life. I'm no angel, but substance abuse and addiction are not my issues (says he the heavy smoker :rolleyes:).
     
  12. Pendlum

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    2,151
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    I don't know how much they need it. I do think they are a little dependent on it as a comfort thing, but not for some of the things you mentioned, like seeing family.

    I'm with you on the tolerance thing. I have a fairly short fuse with drunks. In general I just don't enjoy being around them that much (There are exceptions of course). I don't go to parties pretty much because everyone will be drinking, which means it most likely isn't going to be fun. The only one that I've been too became sort of fun when we started playing Cranium. But I played Risk with them sober and had a much better time.
     
  13. pouchsucker

    pouchsucker New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    I never saw my dad sober until I was in high school.
     
  14. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    693
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago
    Too many... luckily all of them (save my dad) quit.
     
  15. Dooky

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    618
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Verified:
    Photo
    I was raised sheltered. My mom never did anything and if anyone in my family did anything i wouldn't know. I only know of one person who recently abused drugs/alcohol. My aunt. I didn't see her much when i was younger and she moved away to arizona when i was about 12. She had 2 kids and was addicted to Meth. Her kids were taken away after a while and a few other members of my family are taking care of them. By now i think they are legally adopted. We never know what to expect from her. She's even faked having parkinson's disease to recieve money or sympathy or anything. Now she is supposedly clean and back home. I don't know what to expect.

    Out of all my family members she was the one i knew the least. It took me a while to realize though
     
  16. flaboy420

    flaboy420 Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Messages:
    171
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    between 15 amd 18 i had a problem with drinking,smoking weed and pills i drank friday-sunday smoked weed dasily took pills everyday. hell i even went to school fucked up everyday it started causing problems with me and my family thankfully i realized it soon enough now i just ocassionaly drink and still have my nasty 6 year cig habbit, im 20 now.
     
  17. ruffboy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    1,766
    Likes Received:
    673
    Location:
    United States
    jesus, dont' get me started :p
     
  18. eyescream

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    (Nomadic...relocating again very soon)
    I do. My parents are both alcoholics. Not kidding.
     
  19. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2008
    Messages:
    1,048
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    Well my dad tried to get my uncle to get help years ago, he told dad to mind his own damn business...and then didn't speak to him for 6 months. His first wife (who was a wonderful person) finally divorced him because she could not deal with his drinking. After she left him he got re-married to this tramp he met in a bar. He finally got so bad my parents used to make sure they planned to be out of town on Holidays so they would not have to have him and his wife (who stayed high on painkillers) over, because he would get sloshed and she would be high befoee she got there and they would both make a complete fools of themselves.

    What finally made him get dry was he canned his drug addict wife, and she basicly took everything he had in divorce court. He then got a new girlfriend who had her own booze problem. One day she decided that she was getting dry and so was he...she tols him she was leavign if he didn't. She threw out all of the booze in the house out and they both went and got treatment. They now go to AA together. He is now a TOTALLY different person.

    I don't see the other Alcoholic cousin much because he doesn't live nearby.
     
  20. Countryguy63

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,447
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    Verified:
    Photo
    nobody blood related.

    My sister has married 2 of them
     
Draft saved Draft deleted