Okay ladies... so when should a guy be "taking a hint"???

B_Bjen2848

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women communicate competely differently then men, men are very direct while women have a bunch of other stuff involved and backed up to what they are saying (feelings, body language, time of the month etc) so what she says and what she means are usually very different

and women know this. in my experience, it seems like if a women is really attracted to you, she wont play head games and she will be very direct with you .. if she is anything less then really attraced (anywhere from only kind of attracted, to not attracted at all) then she will do a lot of double talk to keep you in that grey area
 

EllieP

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Subtlety is lost on any human being with a Y chromosome.
 

D_Winthrop Woodcock

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I've found the same issue with guys, they always want to know where I am, what am I doing, who am I talking to (going so far as to take my phone and look at it or join my conversations by taking over my yahoo account).

It almost sounds like you got a stalker!

What she said.....but I'll add, if I've been with a guy for a while he usually can read my mood and can take a hint, whatever the hint is. If it's in the company of someone new, I have no problem spelling it out because it needs to be clear, whatever the hint would have been.

True.... even though men in general are bad at taking hints, over time they tend to learn it from people they meet on a regular basis... guess that's what you meant here...

I agree with this 100%. I have that issue with the male sex. Most of the time they speak in Greek. Their body language is different and hard for me to understand. And just as you say a "womans' woman"... they are always a "man's man." When you have alienated yourself from the opposite sex for whatever reason and you get thrown in with them it's a whole new ballgame. I actually find myself quite uncomfortable around men that I don't know. It's very weird. Everything that you said above in your "sign's" list could be interpreted as arousal but they could also be a sign of nervousness or even fear. I'm starting to think that just getting to the point is the best way to handle a situation where you do not know the other person's intentions.

girls are from venus, men are from mars? lol.... looks like it!
spend sometime with one man and i'm sure you figure him out easily enough.... the problem here is you are trying to generalize all men as being the same... but they are not. each one behaves differently. hence spending time with one guy means you understand him over time, but you may still not figure out what goes on in otehr guy's heads.

This is especially true in a large polyglot country like the UK or the US, where you have a mix of people from a wide range of cultures and male/female interaction behaviors. "Taking a hint" is only going to get more difficult from here on out, and expecting men to keep up instead of just womaning it up and stating what you want directly will give unnecessary conflict.

Yup... very realistic chance of conflict... besides people have got so used to being indirect that anything which is not is considered offensive even!

My thoughts exactly. Men could turn the question around and ask "So when should a woman stop being so cryptic and vague?"
Maybe all are not cryptic and vague.... just that you need to spend time with them and you ll figure them easy enough. the problem arises when you know how one woman reacts and you assume all others react in the same way... but when you come across them, you ll be surprised that they are different... which is true... all people are unique... you can't say "all women act this way"... no wonder writing a "guide to men/women" is not possible.

women communicate competely differently then men, men are very direct while women have a bunch of other stuff involved and backed up to what they are saying (feelings, body language, time of the month etc) so what she says and what she means are usually very different

and women know this. in my experience, it seems like if a women is really attracted to you, she wont play head games and she will be very direct with you .. if she is anything less then really attraced (anywhere from only kind of attracted, to not attracted at all) then she will do a lot of double talk to keep you in that grey area

maybe guys are that way because they are expected to be that way at work.... to get things done. if they are indirect, things never get done. guess they carry that trait over to their personal lives...

and if you can "take the hints" that she is putting you in the grey area, you can act on it! but the problem with most people is they are not able to figure it out at that exact point of time....

Subtlety is lost on any human being with a Y chromosome.

May not be completely lost. but yes, definitely to a certain extent
 

B_Bjen2848

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maybe guys are that way because they are expected to be that way at work.... to get things done. if they are indirect, things never get done. guess they carry that trait over to their personal lives...

and if you can "take the hints" that she is putting you in the grey area, you can act on it! but the problem with most people is they are not able to figure it out at that exact point of time....


exactly, its really funny b/c usually women will do the grey area double speak when they are preparing to put you in the dreaded, feared "friend zone" that everyone tries to avoid, when they put a guy in the friend zone its perfect for them b/c they can call that guy to do anything for them without feeling obligated to give them sexual favors, so what i do is i just completely cut them off (delete of facebook, delete phone number, etc) once i feel that im being coated in grey :biggrin1:.. they get usually get pissed but who has time for bs?:rolleyes:

it seems like women do this mainly when it comes to the dating scene while men use this tactic for business relationships .. it fascinates me how people communicate with and without words, and its even more interesting that most people are clueless to the suble hints people drop in every conversation .. always take the hint people!
 

B_subgirrl

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so what i do is i just completely cut them off (delete of facebook, delete phone number, etc)

You seem to be obsessed with the 'friend zone'. Someone put you there lately?

And the particular part of your post I've highlighted is really charming. To be honest, I can't see why anyone would bother putting you in the friend zone at all.
 

B_Bjen2848

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You seem to be obsessed with the 'friend zone'. Someone put you there lately?

And the particular part of your post I've highlighted is really charming. To be honest, I can't see why anyone would bother putting you in the friend zone at all.


now that i think of it, i have been talking about that a lot :redface: