OkCupid blog: it's best for women if lots of guys find you hot...and lots do not!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bananaclubcock, Jan 10, 2011.

  1. bananaclubcock

    Feb 4, 2010
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    Eastern U.S.
    Pretty interesting, and I think intuitive, post about how the most commonly messaged women on OkCupid (a dating site) are the ones that are often rated very attractive by some and very unattractive by others. The ones that are almost always rated attractive get less attention.
    The mathematics of beauty

    I find myself more likely to approach a woman who is uniquely appealing as opposed to conventionally appealing. I am guessing it is the way everyone works, we just don't mention it and pretend that there are supremely attractive people 'everyone' would want, which really doesn't work out to be true. Any thoughts?
  2. D_Pomeroy Pokingstick

    D_Pomeroy Pokingstick Account Disabled

    Sep 23, 2010
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    I think for most guys who do the online dating thing, they screen through the list of womens profiles only paying attention to those with an attractive online profile photo, of course being the first thing they notice. I am sure women do this too. But many profiles do not even getting a second look, especially if they have a shitty profile photo, bad lighting or whatever it may be, I don't think it should be suprising to anyone.
    I've seen similar related articles mentioning how some guys get fustrated that they set up a decent profile, make attempt contact by email and never hear back....could it be maybe some of those men assume when they see an online profile of a supremely attractive women they pass on contacting her, thinking she won't even respond and say to themselves, why bother. This happens in the real world as well, at least from what I have heard. I recall hearing supermodels or beautiful movie stars being interviewed and saying, "No, I never get asked out"

    It's true that there are types of people that exsist in the world which some people find incredibly beautiful or handsome while others find that same person very physically unattractive or harshly term "ugly"

    I agree with you and I also prefer getting to know uniquely appealing women, with substance over a conventional commercial beauty who has none.
  3. Phil Ayesho

    Gold Member

    Feb 26, 2008
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    San Diego
    A large study done into how people craft and respond to personals ads shows that, overall, most people have a very good assessment of their relative "worth" on the dating market...

    That is, the more attractive, or younger, the woman, or more affluent, or fit, the man, the more they feel they can demand in a prospective mate... and as they age, both men and women scale back their expectation in a mate to match their lower "value" in terms of attractiveness, longevity, earning power, etc.

    The reason the majority of guys do not try for the super attractive women is that they know from their own personal self assessment that they are not likely to be offering enough to win such a woman.

    In other words- by and large, women have a good handle on what they can expect from a guy, and guys have a good handle on what they can get, in a girl, and the majority of folks fall in the middle in terms of what they bring to the table.

    More attractive women do get less action, online, but they tend to get a higher percentage of more affluent and/or fit men expressing an interest.

    The research revealed that, in self assessing, people manage to very accurately estimate what they can get in exchange for what they offer....
    with the exception of men 55-60... who tended to over-valuate themselves, given their relatively shorter life expectancy.... ( i.e. they may have been in their peak earning years, but for a large percentage, those years would not last very long... but this was understandable as an unwillingness to look hard at their likely mortality in this age group.)

    PS-of all the dating websites...OkCupid is undoubtedly the best... and its free.
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