old guy "waiting for me" outside my open shower stall

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by hunGreek, Jan 30, 2007.

  1. hunGreek

    hunGreek Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Greek Islands
    hello people,

    this just happened to me today.
    i finished my workout and i hit the showers. my gym has 4 showers with frosted glass doors and one where the doors busted and has been removed.
    for years i used the closed ones but recently i started using the open one since i find it a) slightly liberating b) i am very very nudity consius and i think this is a good way to overcome my paranoia about nudity.

    aaanyway

    i was in my open shower, and this 50ish year old queen, stands outside my stall while im showering, stark naked, and asks me if if im gonna be long, i tell him gimme a min to dry up and ill leave. (i cannot stress the fact that there are 4 other stalls in the area but he stood about 2 feet from me) and i can feel he is blatantly scanning me without even trying to be polite as to turn the otehr way or whatever.. he was just enjoying the show..
    i finished upo drying put my underwear and left without making any eye contact.


    now my question is:

    a)was he rude?
    b)did he deserve to be told off?
    c)should i be sympathetic of the old queen getting some visual stimulation?
    d)should i just shut the fuck up and accept that if i go to the open shower old and fat guys will stare at me?

    (the open stall is at the left side of a dead end, there is no point standing there. and it provides privacy as noone passes in front of it under normal circumstances
     
  2. kalipygian

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,982
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    alaska
    All of the above, I think mostly rude, some people can't be gotten through to politely. Appreciating someones beauty should be done without crowding them. Completely rude and absurd trying to rush you. I put up with more than I should have from people I was not attracted to when I was young.
     
  3. buffbaldy

    buffbaldy New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    Messages:
    898
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    upstate NY
    I think rude but I have to admit if I saw Kalipygian in an open shower I'd have to take a good look but would walk on by.
     
  4. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    He may simply be a creature of habit who uses that stall all the time, an inconsiderate old fart whose only thought was for you to hurry the hell up and move on. Some people think only of their own needs.
     
  5. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Other options:
    1. You don't have to shower at the gym. That solves the (sarcastic remark: old queen) gawking.

    2. You can wait until the older gentlemen have showered.

    3. You can workout really early before the older guys get there.

    4. Yeah, you could tell the guy to stop looking at you. But if you are hot looking--that may be hard to do.

    5. A GOOD IDEA : Invite your three young friends to shower in all of the stalls when you are ready to shower cockblocking the older gentlemen from looking at you in the shower.

    6. Buy a set of weights for your use at home. (No older gents there.)

    7. When you are older and gay, remember that what goes around comes back around.
     
  6. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    Just curious, would you have been as bothered if it had been a handsome, young, muscular queen? If he didn't molest you or ask you for sex, where's the problem?
     
  7. scorpio1444

    scorpio1444 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    160
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    Age and sexual orientation are no excuse for bad manners. Sometimes I notice older guys trying to check me out in the steamroom/showers, and as long as they're discreet and respectful, I let 'em look. If they start to oogle (such as unnecessarily standing two feet from me in an open shower) I get irritated.

    I hope what comes back around to me when I'm older is some occasional eye candy, and sense enough to look but not leer.
     
  8. scorpio1444

    scorpio1444 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    160
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    Again, age and sexual orientation are no excuse. Young or old, gay or straight, it's just not polite to stand and stare.

    If our guy had been attracted to handsome, young, muscular queens, then he might have enjoyed the attention and received it more happily. He obviously was not attracted to the man in question and was offended.

    Regardless of how it's received I still think it's rude in both cases.
     
  9. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    That's the point I was trying to make. The action was rude, but the rudeness is tolerable if the rude person is young and pretty? If the same action is NOT perceived as rude when it comes from someone attractive, then perhaps the action isn't rude coming from an unattractive person; it is just not appreciated.
     
  10. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    oogle? Is that some kind of mental search engine for old guys?
     
  11. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Yeah, age and sexual orientation aren't an excuse for invading space. You shouldn't feel like you should succumb to his wiles. If you are uncomfortable, let him know. You're an adult.
    If you don't want to be bothered with older gay men in the shower, then, there are alternatives.

    Then, when you become older and still gay, the roles will get reversed. That's what I am saying.
     
  12. invisibleman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Messages:
    9,976
    Likes Received:
    39
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina

    :smile:
     
  13. Mulebear

    Mulebear Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    147
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia
    Personally I would have said, "I don't think the other stalls are being used."

    This puts the ball back into his court to either choose another stall or explain why he is waiting on the one you are using. What happens next depends on what he does or says.

    If he takes another stall, no problem.

    If he says he prefers that stall, then tell him that you'll let him know when you are finished. That should send the message to him that he shouldn't hang around.

    If he makes a sexual advance, tell him you are not interested. If he continues to hang around, tell him that he is making you uncomfortable and that he should leave. If he doesn't leave, ignore him, finish your shower and complain to the management.
     
  14. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    I like your advice, Mulebear. I agree with DC's point too, although if the "starer" is going out of his way to look at young, sexy guys and not others, he can't feel bad if he gets the brush off for the same reason.
     
  15. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    Best suggestion so far, MB.
     
  16. hunGreek

    hunGreek Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Greek Islands
    I have news! he struck again, this time with more nerve!!!
    i finish my workout and i go to the locker room, where he pops up after 3-4 minutes.
    i go to the same stall cause the otehr ones stink since they are connected to the toilet drain, and i start showering..

    and he pops again.. saying with a very gay voice...
    "i see you got my stall again"
    - yeah man, well the other 3 are empty (and turn my back)
    i continue washing, and after 1 minute he comes out of his stall all soapy and stares at me saying
    -well... you dont have any humor dont you? still sitting stark naked and soapy while im trying to shower
    - are you gonna stand there for???
    - yeap.. i like to see you
    - please do me a favour and get inside your stall (in very serious tone)

    i finished my shower after that. and i didnt see him..

    getting a gym at my house or taking a shower at my house are not options. I WILL NOT be driven away from my gym cause of the old fart!

    im a very polite person, and i really dont like to be confrontational with people, especially since im gay myself, but greece is not as liberal as other countries in the issue of nudity so his behaviour was utterly out of bounds!
     
  17. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    It sounds like he got the message after you told him. You shouldn't worry about it again. If he does bother you again, simply report him to the management.

    The simplest solutions are usually best.
     
  18. b.c.

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Messages:
    9,298
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,683
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    at home
    Not necessarily... if I had a dime for every young guy who stared at my "old" dick...
     
  19. dags

    dags New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2006
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    I would definitely say something to him. Knowing me it wouldn't be very nice, probably something like "Do you mind" in a sarcastic bitchy tone. I'm one of the nicest people around until someone deliberately fucks with me.
    The likelihood of these types of situations is why I don't workout at a gym and find alternative methods to stay fit.
     
  20. kalipygian

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,982
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    alaska
    Hope he behaves better. You certainly shouldn't let anyone drive you away.
    I forgot my age is not showing here, I am speaking from the perspective of 51, so I am an old queen as well.:(

    Not the case here, but there were 2 fairly recent threads with very elaborate stories by supposed young straight guys who said they suffered much worse 'advances' by gay guys, one in a shower and the other in a bathroom, I believed them at first, but have since come to suspect they were made up. (and I def am NOT inferring I doubt you, I do not)
     
Draft saved Draft deleted