Older Married In Sexless Marriage

barbunz

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Hi. Im 68 mwm the
ats been in a sexless mariage for over 10 years now. been bi courious over 40 yrs but never acted on it. But now im really thinking hard about it. Not looking for any type of relationship, just play, sex. I know many feel that is cheating but i dont know. How can it be cheating when your spouse doesnt what sex to begin with. And when I say sexless I mean just that. No touching, playing, intercourse. Absolutely nothing for years. Anyone else the same? And how do you deal with it?
 

Mister2101

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Hi. Im 68 mwm the
ats been in a sexless mariage for over 10 years now. been bi courious over 40 yrs but never acted on it. But now im really thinking hard about it. Not looking for any type of relationship, just play, sex. I know many feel that is cheating but i dont know. How can it be cheating when your spouse doesnt what sex to begin with. And when I say sexless I mean just that. No touching, playing, intercourse. Absolutely nothing for years. Anyone else the same? And how do you deal with it?
Life is short my friend. Give it a try.......MM sex is wonderful......
 

Oralgami15

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I was in my mid 40's and extremely frustrated by the involuntary celibacy my then wife forced upon me. I was a good husband with a good job, a good father - and forced to jerk off like an adolescent n the down stairs bathroom after everyone was asleep. It made me bitter and angry.

I was working for a firm that employed a number of younger bored women, most of them married, that were into a little excitement and hinted about their availability. I took advantage of the willingness of three of them but soon discovered that that was perilous - there were jealousies, emotional entanglements, a near discovery and one, the hottest and most evil of the three,made a sexual harassment claim about me when I discovered I wasn't the only guy she was fooling around with. I learned my lesson and decided it was best not to fuck around with co-workers.

When you get frustrated enough, your mind opens and considers new possibilities. I was watching a lot of porn and allowed myself to watch briefly m2m oral encounters I 'accidentally" stumbled upon. It took me a while to accept the fact that I was turned on by it, a longer than that to intentionally seek out videos of guys casually sucking each other off without any type of romance - just pure no strings exchange of hedonistic pleasure. The idea of finding another guy in the same situation and discreetly and willingly giving each other what we both wanted without negotiation, expensive dinners or waiting for a birthday to come around.

There had to be lots of guys around in the same situation and who shared the same curiosity. I decided that if an opportunity ever arose, I would go for it. However, before too long I concluded that if I wanted to experience it outside the realm of fantasy, I would have to take a chance and create my own opportunity - otherwise I would spend the rest of my life wondering what it was like.

Long story short, I posted an honest ad on CL, waded through scores of responses I rejected out of hand, and found what seemed like the perfect candidate and, as it turned it, he was. Our encounter was intense, inept on my part, and ended with no regrets.
 

barbunz

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I was in my mid 40's and extremely frustrated by the involuntary celibacy my then wife forced upon me. I was a good husband with a good job, a good father - and forced to jerk off like an adolescent n the down stairs bathroom after everyone was asleep. It made me bitter and angry.

I was working for a firm that employed a number of younger bored women, most of them married, that were into a little excitement and hinted about their availability. I took advantage of the willingness of three of them but soon discovered that that was perilous - there were jealousies, emotional entanglements, a near discovery and one, the hottest and most evil of the three,made a sexual harassment claim about me when I discovered I wasn't the only guy she was fooling around with. I learned my lesson and decided it was best not to fuck around with co-workers.

When you get frustrated enough, your mind opens and considers new possibilities. I was watching a lot of porn and allowed myself to watch briefly m2m oral encounters I 'accidentally" stumbled upon. It took me a while to accept the fact that I was turned on by it, a longer than that to intentionally seek out videos of guys casually sucking each other off without any type of romance - just pure no strings exchange of hedonistic pleasure. The idea of finding another guy in the same situation and discreetly and willingly giving each other what we both wanted without negotiation, expensive dinners or waiting for a birthday to come around.

There had to be lots of guys around in the same situation and who shared the same curiosity. I decided that if an opportunity ever arose, I would go for it. However, before too long I concluded that if I wanted to experience it outside the realm of fantasy, I would have to take a chance and create my own opportunity - otherwise I would spend the rest of my life wondering what it was like.

Long story short, I posted an honest ad on CL, waded through scores of responses I rejected out of hand, and found what seemed like the perfect candidate and, as it turned it, he was. Our encounter was intense, inept on my part, and ended with no regrets.

Im glad that you were able to find yourself an outlet.
 

bi2

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Hi. Im 68 mwm the
ats been in a sexless mariage for over 10 years now. been bi courious over 40 yrs but never acted on it. But now im really thinking hard about it. Not looking for any type of relationship, just play, sex. I know many feel that is cheating but i dont know. How can it be cheating when your spouse doesnt what sex to begin with. And when I say sexless I mean just that. No touching, playing, intercourse. Absolutely nothing for years. Anyone else the same? And how do you deal with it?

At your age, in a sexless marriage for 10+ years, you want sex, but dont want to leave her, if youre going to have meaningless sex with a guy, just be safe and enjoy the encounter.

Life is short. Its also shorter at the age of 68.
 

daftman

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my two cents: I would have a really hard time not connecting totally with my wife. That means emotional, physical, sexual, mentally...we do and are connected that way and have been for 45 years. I have never cheated in any way (I do not want to lie to her no do i want the complications). That said, if she said 'no sex' or it was a 'no sex' deal, I might say to her, ok, I will get sex elsewhere, but i am still with you. Just two facts of life. Just go for it and tell her. But, be ready for those consequences!
 

slippy_dicky

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my two cents: I would have a really hard time not connecting totally with my wife. That means emotional, physical, sexual, mentally...we do and are connected that way and have been for 45 years. I have never cheated in any way (I do not want to lie to her no do i want the complications). That said, if she said 'no sex' or it was a 'no sex' deal, I might say to her, ok, I will get sex elsewhere, but i am still with you. Just two facts of life. Just go for it and tell her. But, be ready for those consequences!
I dunno....just telling her might well cause a huge blow-up in your marriage, all because you wanted to try a discreet meeting with a stranger? As long as you play safe so that nothing can be brought into the marriage....couldn't that work?
 

TouchMeHere

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The lesser sexual person in the relationship always has the most power to get their way. The more sexual partner is the one who bears all the burden of being frustrated and unsatisfied.

Like others have said, live your life for you and go get what you need to be happy. Just be careful for your own health, if she's never having sex with you, why would you need to be careful to protect her?
 

slippy_dicky

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The lesser sexual person in the relationship always has the most power to get their way. The more sexual partner is the one who bears all the burden of being frustrated and unsatisfied.

Good point, never thought about it from that perspective

if she's never having sex with you, why would you need to be careful to protect her? Never is a very strong word...
 
D

deleted817718

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Hi. Im 68 mwm the
ats been in a sexless mariage for over 10 years now. been bi courious over 40 yrs but never acted on it. But now im really thinking hard about it. Not looking for any type of relationship, just play, sex. I know many feel that is cheating but i dont know. How can it be cheating when your spouse doesnt what sex to begin with. And when I say sexless I mean just that. No touching, playing, intercourse. Absolutely nothing for years. Anyone else the same? And how do you deal with it?
The thing you need to think about is wether your marriage is worth risking for meaningless sex. If you get caught you risk ending your relationship and it will be you that is in the wrong. My wife and I are pretty close to having a totally sex less marriage. Over the last 3 or 4 years sex has slowed down to once in a blue moon, and it looks to be soon we won’t have sex at all. I couldn’t ever see cheating as an option for me though
 
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HorseHung40's

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I, too, am in a sexless marriage.

While my sex drive was always a lot stronger than that of my wife, hers seemed to evaporate with the onset of menopause. She seemed content with having no sex drive. While she did see her doctor, who assured her that she was otherwise healthy, she did little else.

I have always masturbated to address the imbalance in our sex drives. She figured that I would continue to do just that; instead, I became intimate with men, exclusively so. I have not looked back.

This avoids the upheaval of a divorce. I have made a whole new circle of friends and have a whole new fan base (that is another posting).

Go ahead and explore. You owe it to yourself.

Good Luck.
 

WidgeonSF

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I was in a 99% sexless marriage for many years. What was worse, in my opinion, is that if she thought I was masturbating, she’d try to catch me and embarrass me for it. I got a divorce. I didn’t want to spend the rest of life that way.