I've had alot of offers from others...I want to so bad
Older Married In Sexless Marriage
- Thread starter barbunz
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I think a lot has to do with how you view any sex you have outside the house. When I was married, my wife never gave me as much as I needed. I started feeling like I was forcing myself on her. I eventually started finding sex outside the house with both girls and guys. I felt guilt at first. But then I realized it really was like adult play. I was just having fun, getting/giving pleasure, and making new friends that had little to no implications for my commitment to my family. In fact, I feel I was a calmer man and husband as a result and def gave my wife peace
.Eventually, I was open with my wife about my activities, which she accepted, but never any specifics. And I remained pretty discreet about it in general. Eventually, we divorced for reasons not completely related to our sex life. But I don't regret at all my activities when married. Looking back, it opened a whole new world to me.
good comments. Remember, a relationship is a two way street, and if it turns more 'one way' -- one party ultimately does not feel it fair....
- bi2,
I think a lot has to do with how you view any sex you have outside the house. When I was married, my wife never gave me as much as I needed. I started feeling like I was forcing myself on her. I eventually started finding sex outside the house with both girls and guys. I felt guilt at first. But then I realized it really was like adult play. I was just having fun, getting/giving pleasure, and making new friends that had little to no implications for my commitment to my family. In fact, I feel I was a calmer man and husband as a result and def gave my wife peace
Eventually, I was open with my wife about my activities, which she accepted, but never any specifics. And I remained pretty discreet about it in general. Eventually, we divorced for reasons not completely related to our sex life. But I don't regret at all my activities when married. Looking back, it opened a whole new world to me.
Thanks for sharing.
You only live once. Given you divorced, imagine if you didnt explore all that time and being without sex?
I cant think of a worse situation of being in a sexless marriage, but there is a need to stay. I can understand your need to satisfy those urges you had.
I have read this whole thread with much interest.
I’ve been married for 10+ years and haven’t had sex since Sept 2020. I do everything to initiate and make her feel loved and sexy...just recently I spent 25 mins massaging her and fingering her to orgasm. She rolled over and went to sleep after with not a word of thanks or reciprocation.
I haven’t had a blowjob since 2007. She has no libido, is horrified by the site of my penis, and openly refuses sex. She also refuses to have her lack of libido addressed by a dr.
Feel so rejected...I turn to this forum for nice comments from guys. Helps make me feel wanted.
I’ve been married for 10+ years and haven’t had sex since Sept 2020. I do everything to initiate and make her feel loved and sexy...just recently I spent 25 mins massaging her and fingering her to orgasm. She rolled over and went to sleep after with not a word of thanks or reciprocation.
I haven’t had a blowjob since 2007. She has no libido, is horrified by the site of my penis, and openly refuses sex. She also refuses to have her lack of libido addressed by a dr.
Feel so rejected...I turn to this forum for nice comments from guys. Helps make me feel wanted.
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I am probably in the minority here but I don't actually blame my wife for our sexless marriage. I have to lay the cause on my own doorstep. I just simply went off the idea of sex with her about fifteen years ago. Although I still love her and we remain close, I gradually stopped finding her sexually attractive. She is six years older than me. When we were younger the sex was frequent and always satisfying for both of us. But for me it started becoming boring, repetative, less spontaneous. I tried to spark her interest in new things but she wanted to remain conventional. She has fairly old fashioned values when it comes to sex but I can't blame her for that. So, when the opportunity arose I ended up playing away from home with other women and then guys, and the excitement of it was thrilling. I now almost exclusively have m2m fun, but if I initiated it, my wife wouldn't turn me down. I would probably be seen as the bad guy in our marriage but it's just the way it's worked out.
Not want to have sex is ok.
Being in an exclusive (not open) relationship is ok.
If your partner wants to have both of this, he/she is acting a violence on you.
I don't bother if my partner doesn't like what I like, either she does it with me or I'll do it alone or with someone else.
Ofc that works both ways.
And I am not talking about "she doesn't like anal so I do with someone else" kind of stuffs.
Zero sex is totally a different thing than sacrifice something for the relationship.
If she is not interested in sex she shouldn't be interested in what you do about that (as long as you do it safely).
@AussieScooter I think my answer could be useful to you, too.
- bi2,
Very good post here.
I might add that if that poster can and does have emotionless and meaningless sex with someone else in a safe manner, be it male or female thats totally fine. It should actually be explored at least before leaving a partner/wife.
If that poster develops or has feelings for another person, than leaving/divorcing your partner should be at least an option of consideration.
But to remain in a sexless marriage where you need and want sex and its not available is not mentally a healthy viable option to remain in one. I mean there is only so much wanking a person can do, before needing to have physical contact with another person.
I am in a relationship with a much older man who is married, but does not have sex with his wife as she has lost all interest and desire which is totally fine as she still loves him. He also loves her dearly and the children and wants to remain with them which is the right thing to do in my opinion. I provide a safe, conveninet and healthy outlet for him. He has no emotional entanglements with me and me with him. Its a mutually satisfying physical relationship without any personal or emotional need for a connection. I want that, he wants that and we are both happy about that. Given we are both consenting, there is no harm with what we are doing, nor should my partner nor I being critcsized for what we do together privately.
Thanks @CURIOUS_8 - even just having these discussions helps me with my frustration.
I'm quite similar. I'm about to get married. The relationship is already sexless and I expect it to stay the same. The "choice" is mine.
I love my partner so much (she's female, I'm male) but I can't fuck people I love (now there's a topic for a whole other thread) and we've discussed it at length. I've even seen a therapist about this and I still don't really know why I'm like this. She also knows I'm bi and that I play around with guys. I can give her everything under the sun except my dick. She's OK with this so long I only play with guys. If I hooked up with another woman, she'd be pissed off!
Same deal here... so wank alot... here, chaterbate and skype without her knowing....
64yo mwm here, married 42 years, as we aged she has gotten less sexual and I have gotten more.
MilfBanger78
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Question for the married guys in sexless marriages...Do your wives use social media? FB mainly etc?
I ask b/c I recently had an interesting situation with a buddy of mine. Hes 60, wife had no sex drive. She uses FB, and any pics of her she'd post was always her looking her best, dressed nicely, even a few bathing suit pics. Meanwhile she dresses frumpy around him. I came up with the idea to "test" her out so to speak, from a different profile on FB, and message her flirtatiously, see how receptive she was. Turns out she was quite receptive lol. She said she hadnt cheated but in the messages she seemed open to the idea.
My point being, dont be shocked if some of these wives that claim to have no interest in sex are in fact, cheating themselves. Happens more than you'd think. I know from experience living in FL I had fucked my share of older married women in my younger days.
I ask b/c I recently had an interesting situation with a buddy of mine. Hes 60, wife had no sex drive. She uses FB, and any pics of her she'd post was always her looking her best, dressed nicely, even a few bathing suit pics. Meanwhile she dresses frumpy around him. I came up with the idea to "test" her out so to speak, from a different profile on FB, and message her flirtatiously, see how receptive she was. Turns out she was quite receptive lol. She said she hadnt cheated but in the messages she seemed open to the idea.
My point being, dont be shocked if some of these wives that claim to have no interest in sex are in fact, cheating themselves. Happens more than you'd think. I know from experience living in FL I had fucked my share of older married women in my younger days.
If your wife found out you were having sex with men outside your marriage, do you think she would leave you? Would you be OK with that? I'm sure your relationship with your wife would change. Something consequential to consider before indulging in sex with strangers that don't mean much to you.
Sex has a way of ruining everything.
Sex has a way of ruining everything.
Sexless marriage for me and my wife for many years. Long before I met her I had fantasies about men but never did anything. When we first met we had a good sexlife. After marriage sex became infrequent e.g. once every 2 months, then every 3 months, then twice a year, then once a year. Now zero. At the once every 3 months mark I was frustrated and angry but hid that from her. I was tempted to cheat with a woman, went on a few coffee dates with married women, but never did. Instead, I dusted off those old mansex fantasies, met a guy and we went all the way. After that I resolved to discreetly embrace my same sex side and I stopped being angry and resentful. I began to see my sexless marriage as a good thing. I stopped asking my wife for sex. My private masturbation time was 90% devoted to thoughts images fantasies of male = male sex. I would occasionally hook up with men. My wife would occasionally ask for sex, but I could no longer get hard for her.
- bi2,
Im probably too young to be understanding of everything involved here, but I cannot see how being in a marriage where there is no sex and no opportunity to have an outlet as healthy nor a happy situation.
By being not angry or resentful anymore, you probably took back the power you lost and feel good about yourself again.
Its why when my married male partner wants me, I almost always make myself immediately available for him. I appreciate he needs to fuck/cum and I am always happy to help him achieve that. Even if I have plans or am busy, we will work around a schedule and time to suit him. Unless I am genuinely sick which is rare, I wont ever say no, its cruel and horrible. Not to mention, I enjoy that he desires me that way, so its mutually satisfying too. One time I was going out for friends for dinner followed by drinks and I still made plans. We went to a seedy hotel, nearby, he fucked me and I left. I went to dinner with several shots of cum in my arse, that slowly during the night leaked out of me. I cant begin to tell you how hot and dirty I felt, it was amazing. So its not just me satisfying him, he satisfies me too.
I think its very selfish for a wife to be able to do that. Unless there is actual physical reasons its a form of manipulation.
As a man married to a woman who is no longer sexually active I must say that most women that are no longer having sex are not being selfish, but have an issue that is effecting there sex drive, or just simply have lost there sex drive altogether. And it can be a lot more selfish for there husbands to keep on making them have sex
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