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Older, Overweight Man Seeks New Life, New Lifestyle

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by anewlife, May 15, 2019.

  1. anewlife

    anewlife Experimental Member

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    I've lived through terminal illness, use to always be in good shape and hope to return to that. Yes, I'm working on it but it is slow going after years of being near death. I'm told I'm still good looking by mostly middle age and younger women, but I am overweight as hell, 6'2", 57 yo biker with long gray/white beard. I don't have some great secret of being attracted to men, accept very feminine, nearly female appearing men. Honest. But (pun intended) I have always enjoyed anal stimulation, dildo penetration, experienced a real cock once while high years ago (FUCK!, the sensation was all I could think of for like 2 years afterwards, lol).
    So, as I begin getting stronger, slimmer, and have more energy I plan on taking off traveling with my truck and motorcycle. I'm tired of not just exploring this more freely and plan on doing so, along with many other adventures. I want to learn someway to make friends with open minded guys, transgender, even women who are turned on by sexually open men. I've lived in uptight masculine environments all my life and literally have no idea where I might meet others online maybe to start. If connection of lasting friendship I'll have destinations to pursue too. Also, where in the real world would I go, just get comfortable visiting gay and trans bars in cities I get too? I'm not wanting to live out some crazy slut-like fuck fest, just make a new life with open minded people. Thanks for any help you might be able to offer!
     
    headbang8 and WillB63 like this.
  2. WillB63

    Gold Member Verified

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    Welcome. This is a good place to start.
     
  3. headbang8

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    Not sure I have too much practical advice for you, @anewlife. But I just want to say that your outlook impresses me as healthy and positive.

    I love the queer community—and by queer, I mean open-minded, sexual nonconformists of every kind; every permutation of gender and sexuality. The kind of people you want in your new life.

    One of the things I love most about the queer community is that the connection of lasting friendship which you seek often begins with an erotic connection.

    Let's say you find yourself in a "crazy slutty fuck fest". First, you lucky dog. Second, that's not a bad thing. It's only by embracing a few sexual adventures that you'll know what pleases you, and what doesn't. On many occasions, sexual and emotional satisfaction grow together. Don't deprive yourself of that opportunity. Kiss lots of frogs.

    Mind you, my husband and I have been together for almost two decades, so my advice on how to find frogs to kiss won't be up to date.

    Nowadays, I suspect bars won't work for you. Apps have replaced them; that's neither a good nor bad thing, IMHO. Just different.

    Back in the day when bars were the only place for sexual nonconformists to meet, one very rarely experienced explicit rejection. People simply didn't return your gaze; on an app you have to deliberately ghost someone who has approached you. But if you steel yourself against what feels like a personal rejection when someone ghosts your message, apps have a lot to recommend them. Can we better judge a man's character through his online profile than a conversation in a bar? I suspect so.

    I came out in mid-life, too. And my advice is that you shouldn't leap into things that make you uncomfortable. But neither should you refrain from opportunities for pleasure, in the moment. I suspect that's why you used the word adventure. It's a good word.
     
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