Older Woman With A Younger Man Double Standard

[Peacemusic]

WTF does child custody have to do with the topic?

I thought that was perplexing to I got confused

 

[Rippedspeedo]

When I was a bellhop the amount of older women who bedded me was plentiful.I think it was the tight pants.Couple tore them off me.

 

[Sagittarius84]

The child custody point was to highlight the dual nature of double standards; in that the most often relied(and agreed) upon reasonings for them stem from rightly identified biases, but what often sails under the radar is the influence of precedent. In the case of child custody this translates to correctly identifying antiquated attitudes towards gender roles when it comes to parenting, but also having to acknowledge of how the precedent of men opting out of custody contributed to those attitudes.
I believe this parallels the situation of the older woman/younger man(as well as taller woman/shorter man, richer woman/poorer man) societal double standard, in that indeed there are unfair attitudes against women at play, but there exists a precedent of women's selectivity from which that bias can also be garnered.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

When I was a bellhop the amount of older women who bedded me was plentiful.I think it was the tight pants.Couple tore them off me.

So?

 

[Rippedspeedo]

So you want the details of them chasing me around their room in my underwear?

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m asking what that has to do with a women’s issues thread.

 

[Spartan727]

Interesting topic.... I myself get bored w men my age. I never look at age as anything but a number. I am a very active person, My career comes with long hours lots and lots of missed holidays & events. To find a suspect to fill that place in my heart is challenging.
There are pro’s and cons as Scarletb and others have shared. We are responsible fir our own happiness, so I say whatever floats your boat - rocks your boat! Be happy!!
Life is too short!
After the year we just experienced, please...

 

[FLhusband50]

My friend was divorced at 44 and dated a 23 year old for 3 years. They lived together for 2 of them. She got grief over the age difference from her family. She was open with me that she was not going to marry this guy. He was only a rebound and someone to have fun with. He was well endowed and treated her great so she had no complaints. They drifted apart and he moved out. They are still friends 6 years later.

 

[Frozen Heart]

I don't care about age when I am dating someone. Not anymore. I cared about it before... A lot actually. But it is so hard to find a matching partner that I changed my mind about it.

What bothers me is when older men try to date a young woman to use her as a trophy or to take sexual advantage of her. That is predatory behavior.

Now, if you genuinely fell in love with a yonger/older person, it is your life and your problem. I am tired to see "perfect couples" that turned out to have a dysfunctional/abusive marriage.

 

[Neijo]

I think older woman and younger man is a hot dynamic. Tho, love is more important than anything, so if there is no love, then it's rather boring. Unless it's consensual "just for fun"

 

[Fredneck1951]

I will chime in. I was 23 and my wife was 32 when we got together 46 years ago (married 42). It was great for a long, long time but now she is mostly bedridden, in poor overall health and has told me, “I no longer have desire for you. But I still need you to take care of me. We will have some nice moments together.” It’s been four years since we were last intimate. The last time was really good for her too, I just didn’t know it would be the last time.

As I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in August, 2020, my ability to continue caring for her is becoming more and more fraught. I don’t regret a moment of our life together, but I am scared of the way forward.

 

[andigazed]

Congratulations on your mostly great marriage.
42 years is very successful.

I suppose age isn’t an issue until later in life and now you are facing the realities of the trouble it may bring.

What are you doing?

 

[andigazed]

Having a coffee, you?

Again, what are you doing?

 

[Fredneck1951]

Congratulations on your mostly great marriage.
42 years is very successful.

I suppose age isn’t an issue until later in life and now you are facing the realities of the trouble it may bring.

Thanks, Max. I appreciate your sentiments.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

If my sexuality must be seen as predatory I would like to be a Xenomorph, please... .

Or even a Xena-morph.

 

[SurferGirlCA]

I give up trying to include my hand-picked Xena public image of choice.

 

[Sagittarius84]

I will chime in. I was 23 and my wife was 32 when we got together 46 years ago (married 42). It was great for a long, long time but now she is mostly bedridden, in poor overall health and has told me, “I no longer have desire for you. But I still need you to take care of me. We will have some nice moments together.” It’s been four years since we were last intimate. The last time was really good for her too, I just didn’t know it would be the last time.

As I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in August, 2020, my ability to continue caring for her is becoming more and more fraught. I don’t regret a moment of our life together, but I am scared of the way forward.

I respect your guy's relationship but I have to admit your story struck a scary chord with me as my ex was a bit older than me at a young age(I was 20 she was 27). I kept getting the feeling I was more of a failsafe, a backup plan for aging than an actual partner. Even now because of past lifestyle choices of my wife who is the same age, it makes me wonder if locking me down was part of the long term plan to ensure her survival and upkeep without having to, wanting to, or being able to necessarily attend to my physically intimate needs as time goes on.

I understand your recent Parkinson's diagnosis may make this a moot point, but given her admission of no more desire for you has she offered up at least some alternate solutions for you to have your needs met while you diligently attend to hers? Or are you not open to auxiliary means as a function of some sense of loyalty?

 

[Fredneck1951]

I respect your guy's relationship but I have to admit your story struck a scary chord with me as my ex was a bit older than me at a young age(I was 20 she was 27). I kept getting the feeling I was more of a failsafe, a backup plan for aging than an actual partner. Even now because of past lifestyle choices of my wife who is the same age, it makes me wonder if locking me down was part of the long term plan to ensure her survival and upkeep without having to, wanting to, or being able to necessarily attend to my physically intimate needs as time goes on.

I understand your recent Parkinson's diagnosis may make this a moot point, but given her admission of no more desire for you has she offered up at least some alternate solutions for you to have your needs met while you diligently attend to hers? Or are you not open to auxiliary means as a function of some sense of loyalty?

Thanks for your interest. A developing factor is that her health situation may be about to take a new, really scary turn. We will find out more on Monday when we visit the oncologist. That’s a hint at what might be looming. As to whether she would be OK with me seeking comfort elsewhere, I don’t think I would subject her to that.

I will say that were I ever to consider another relationship, it would be a much younger woman who could really be a care partner for me. The Chinese say at least seven years younger for a man’s spouse, but more is good.

 

[3HandsfulofDick]

“Well we all know that women who seek younger men are whores, sluts, bitches who are trying to recapture their youths.. They really don’t know what they want.” SMH..It really amazes that is the thought pattern of many men..

Let me just say this.. Women if you find a younger man and you both enjoy being around each other , enjoy each other’s company, enjoying being in each other’s personal space , and the sex is so good between you that you got him sucking his thumb wanting to call his mother and he got your head spinning around speaking in tongues then DAMN IT GO FOR IT.. One thing you do not want to do (whether male or female) is to lay their thinking if I coulda woulda shoulda...

Women have a fling... have two.(especially if you are with a man that don’t treat you right). If you don’t say anything I won’t ..

 

[Sagittarius84]

“Well we all know that women who seek younger men are whores, sluts, bitches who are trying to recapture their youths.. They really don’t know what they want.” SMH..It really amazes that is the thought

I too do not agree with the conclusions a lot of men come to about older women in relationships with younger men, but as I alluded to earlier in the thread, I think there is a collective cognitive dissonance as to the reality that drives men to even make conclusions; that during adolescence and young formative adulthood girls and women display a overwhelming preference for partners their age or older, almost exclusively, despite there being no shortage of younger male suitors.