Older women & younger guys

wallyj84

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I used to really like older women when I was in my 20s and dated quite a few women who were significantly older than me. These relationships were never meant to be anything other than sex, but in most cases we were both aware of that.

I'm going to say something fucked up and sexist now. Dating an older woman, IMO, is kinda like dating an ugly woman. It's less stressful, easier and the sex is usually much better. The biggest difference is that there isn't that element of shame that you get when you date an ugly woman and I feel like both parties are more likely to be on the same page. The ugly girls I've been with all wanted more than just sex, but very few of the older women saw me as anything more than just fun.

I actually think younger guys in their 20s should go after older women a lot more. As a man it is an amazing experience and I wish I was back in my 20s so I could relive it. I was able to get with some really beautiful women that I could never have been with if I had stuck to a women in my age group.

I actually have a friend now who is very much attracted to younger men. However, she really wants a serious relationship and the younger men she meets are only interested in sex. It's too bad for her, but you like what you like.
 
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Dating an older woman, IMO, is kinda like dating an ugly woman. It's less stressful, easier and the sex is usually much better. The biggest difference is that there isn't that element of shame that you get when you date an ugly woman and I feel like both parties are more likely to be on the same page.
I'm not sure I'm following you... meaning like the joke about mopeds & fat girls (they're both fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on one)?
 
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wallyj84

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If she's someone you enjoy spending time with, why would there be shame?

Maybe in this instance "date" actually means fuck.

No, I meant date. Because dating implies being seen out in public with them.

Maybe it's different for women? But, until you actually mature and stop caring about the opinions of others, there is an element of shame because if the person you're with is significantly less attractive, many people will interpret that to mean that there is something wrong with you where you can't get anyone better looking. People will make comments and say things behind your back. Depending on the age and maturity level of your friends, they might take great pleasure in roasting you for having an ugly girlfriend.

That's sad, but it is reality.
 
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286798

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No, I meant date. Because dating implies being seen out in public with them.

Maybe it's different for women? But, until you actually mature and stop caring about the opinions of others, there is an element of shame because if the person you're with is significantly less attractive, many people will interpret that to mean that there is something wrong with you where you can't get anyone better looking. People will make comments and say things behind your back. Depending on the age and maturity level of your friends, they might take great pleasure in roasting you for having an ugly girlfriend.

That's sad, but it is reality.
I do think it's different for women. You probably know a guy who's really funny, not much to look at, but he dates women who are attractive. You probably also know a guy who has money, not much to look at, but he dates women who are attractive. You probably know a man who's hung, not much to look at, but he dates women who are attractive. You probably know a man who's built, not much to look at, but he dates women who are attractive. Etc. etc. etc. Women can be just as superficial as men, but I think it's less likely to be based on only appearance. I think women are more likely to give a girlfriend the benefit of the doubt & learn if he's funny/wealthy/hung/built and ugly before roasting their friend.
 

WilliamG

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In my early 20's, I had a thing for sex with older women (30-40 and a couple 50). Most of them were met at small bars or restaurants in Baja Mexico on surf trips. While it was fun to be with young nubile 18-20 beach girls, the older ones were the best fun. No strings, no hangups, no "you can touch me here but not here". The older girls were across the board amazing fun. They know what they want. Aren't waiting for their friend "Lisa or Stacy" to confer about what's going to happen later. And even the conversation is much more worldly which really makes them attractive.
 

sudcalifornio

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In my early 20's, I had a thing for sex with older women (30-40 and a couple 50). Most of them were met at small bars or restaurants in Baja Mexico on surf trips. While it was fun to be with young nubile 18-20 beach girls, the older ones were the best fun. No strings, no hangups, no "you can touch me here but not here". The older girls were across the board amazing fun. They know what they want. Aren't waiting for their friend "Lisa or Stacy" to confer about what's going to happen later. And even the conversation is much more worldly which really makes them attractive.
Los Barriles?
 

AlteredEgo

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Noticing a little trend in my circle of friends ... there are women in their 30s and 40s secretly seeing younger guys (21-25ish). Curious to see if it's just my area of the country or is this something going on quietly on a larger scale. I am sure it's nothing new in the great scheme of history, but I have a sense it's more pervasive right now.

I can certainly see the physical attraction, but not so much the emotional connection. Also, too many husband, it seems, are taking their wife for granted, and letting themselves go physically. It sounds bad, but in my experience, women cheat for a different reason than guys.

Thoughts from the other ladies, and guys too?
I'm not cheating. I don't pick dudes out by ages either. One of my dudes is ten years younger. He's not a secret. He's a grown man. He has two jobs and spends most of his time home with his son. That means I don't see him as often as I'd like, but it also means he's living correctly. We mostly hang out at home with his boy, and wait for privacy. Next week we are going to an escape room. I don't see any reason there couldn't be an emotional connection. We have heaps in common, not the least of which is how family oriented we both are, how each of us is possessive over our kitchens and produce excellent meals, and shared passions for certain social issues. Our life experiences have been different, but we've both lived. I have no experience being a single parent, and he has no experience taking care of sick or elderly relatives full time. But we are both from the Bronx, and both live here. We have the same motivations and goals. Why wouldn't we bond? Ageism is generally shallow.