Hello, sexy :wink:
I have to say, with your mother so ill, it was best that you weren't around here and having to deal with all the mess I threw around the place. I hope things work out for you and your mother, and please know that you are in my thoughts.
Oh,
that story. Oy vey! It was intended as a kind of light-hearted metaphor; none of it was supposed to be taken as seriously as it was ... it was based on the idea of Spladle coming back here to LPSG and getting each mod 'toppled from power', so to speak. The symbolism for his vengeance was merely the sixteen-inch cock he joked about having, and of course, none of the deaths were really intended as deaths... just as symbolic removals-from-power of those he considered to blame for his downfall. Of course, while it was all well and good
in theory to base the characters LOOSELY (and I must stress that) on individuals here, as caricatures of the way that each mod was seen (but with a LOT of embellishments, as should be clear to anyone -- these were merely literary outgrowths from real characters, and in no way meant to be realistic representations of those real people) --- the PROBLEM with that, it goes without saying, is that there are real people, with feelings and emotions, behind each of those literary inventions. If anyone thought that the people in the story were meant to be 'carbon copies' of them, they were mistaken; they were figures which were inspired by, but who were also vastly divergent from, the mods. Ho-hum. I apologize for any hurt I caused; that's not quite how it was meant to work out in my skewed way of thinking at the time I wrote it.
Don't be concerned, though: Alex has been on something of a learning curve about himself recently. And is in a much better place for it. It's clear (to me as well now) that in recent weeks, I've been headed on something of a downward emotional spiral both offline and online; perhaps I should be considered the typical tormented artist whose peaks of activity often stem from the lowest ebbs in his life on an emotional level. Anyway, for those who believe in "synchronicity" or "fate", then there was the emergence of joytoyboy79's thread here about mental illness .... which turned into a discussion of depression, in particular ... at just the right moment. I actually didn't even look at that thread for a couple of days, as the title gave me an idea that I might see some truths about myself mirrored in there that I was unwilling to accept. But in the end, I read through it, recognized an awful lot from people's accounts of 'good days' and 'bad days', mood swings, hurting-the-things-they-loved-most, confusion, etc. etc. ... and am now at a place of acknowledging for the first time in my life (although, of course, I have 'known' for years, just not been able to articulate) that I do suffer from bouts of depression as well. I'm at a place in life from where I can move on now.. which is actually quite a monumental thing, and which comes with a monumental sense of relief.
So... once again, I'm sorry that you got embroiled in all this "Alex throwing crap around" saga... it was a 'make or break' moment for me, both online and offline, as it turns out. But most of all, forget about my petty nonsense here, and concentrate on yourself and your mother. You are both infinitely more precious and more important than our online community here ... even though you know full well that there is much love and a sense of interest and genuine concern and support here as well, when you return.
Your friend (although not necessarily deserving that label right now),
A.