OMG! Near-paralysis From Fear of Success

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by AlteredEgo, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. AlteredEgo

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    I'm going back to school. I have interviews all week next week with culinary schools. I've been out of school for a while, and out of the habits of an excellent student. The last time I was inschool, I was mainntaining a B+, I think. My GPA was 3.35. Maybe that's an A-. It was well below my goal of 3.85, (Thank you B- in completely useless class it later turned out I didn't need after all!) but I still had a long way to go, and can bring that up. Anyway, I'm going back to school, and I'm terrified.

    I don't think I'm going to choose a school with a degree program. I think for my plans I don't need a degree in pastry sciences, just the skill set. Give me all the pastry science, and noe of the liberal arts, please. After that, i'd like a degree in Business or economics, and preferably economics since I plan to get an MBA and don't feel I need two business degrees. Culinary school, however, is the cornerstone of my 5 year plan. The cornerstone.

    Once I have that knowledge base, there will be no room for failure. I'm not afraid of failing though. I'm afraid I'll excell (as usual) and get everything I want (as usual). Why is impending success so frightening? And why do I let that fear lead to procrastination and derailment? Why is my midddle name self-sabbotage?

    Do any of you have the same problem?
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Fear can be a good thing. Based on your history, though, I feel confident that you'll not only get back into the swing of things quickly but that you'll do even better this time.
     
  3. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    Marianne Williamson: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."






    that is a good one..

    I am in the same boat as you are right now.. and its a scary ride.. :)
     
  4. Ethyl

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    Yes. My professional life is my weakest spot and it's due to my recurring fear that if I actually succeed, I won't know what the hell to do with myself. :tongue:
    I've listened to the word "no" too many times and thought it was overused. I just left a job where the atmosphere was thick with negativity and pessimism and I couldn't tolerate it. The decision to leave was long overdue but i'm glad I made it. I'm considering changing my focus due to the lack of work in my field at present. Whatever happens, i'm looking forward to something new, different, better for me. Am I afraid? You betcha. I realised that i'm more familiar with struggle and "failure" than "success" on a professional level, so I think the fear of success is a reality for me. We tend to fear the unknown, after all.

    And of course, Marianne Williamson summed it up nicely in her famous quote:

    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

    AE, from what I know about you, i've no doubt you'll achieve your goals. Good luck. Stay strong. PM me during the rough moments and we'll whine about our fear of ruling the world. =)
     
  5. SpeedoGuy

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    I can't relate. I don't recall ever suffering from fear of success.
     
  6. AlteredEgo

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    Awww. Thanks, Pecker. I believe I'll do well too. Exceptionally well! But then, that's the source of my fear!:tongue: Still, thanks for the support. It's nice to have momentarily broken out of my fear-driven rut. I just have to stay out of it long enough to sign on the bottom line. Once I owe someone $30-120K, I have no choice but to bust my butt!

    It is, but when you know that other people are equally spooked by their own dopeness, you can feel less crazy. I mean, I feel like a lo-lo when I sit and analyze my feelings, my motives and find that one of my motivators is a fear of greatness. If you and MB are feeling that way too, maybe I'm not a lo-lo. Or maybe we're loco together. Either way, it's nicer. What are you studying?

    That's good!:smile: I hope you are not shackled with the other side of that coin: fear of failure. It's as big a dream killer. Best of luck!

    I hand-painted this onto my wall. It's something I need to think about all the time. I forgot who said it, so I thank you and DJG for that. This weekend, if I can find a moment, I'll add the author's name.

    Yes! And the burdens of carrying around platinum pussies. You stay strong too, and don't forget that you can write anytime you need as well.
     
  7. Osiris

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    I have to agree with SpeedoGuy. I have always enjoyed success and it truly is sweet. Maybe that comes from being pretty good with risk in my lifetime.
     
  8. Drifterwood

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    Enjoy the journey AE - the proof of the pudding will be in the eating.
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    Growing up, I accomplished some impressive feats, and had some amazing experiences. Happiness over these things was always fleeting, and I was always expected to quickly produce the next big result. Growing up I never had time to really enjoy my success, and so now achievement often fills me with dread or anxiety. It is hard to live in the moment.

    Excellent pun.
     
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