On a Date- What do you talk about when you run out of things to say?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by earllogjam, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. earllogjam

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    Being conversationally challenged myself - I was wondering how others handle that awkward silence during a date.
     
  2. 36DD

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    Silence doesn't always have to be awkward and sometimes I even prefer it to hearing someone talk just cause they would rather say something, anything, other than hear silence.
     
  3. Not_Punny

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    I laugh, and say, "So how about them Dodgers?"

    - - - - -

    OR, better, simply ask the person a question about themselves. Like, "Where'd you get your _____ from?" or "Where did you grow up?" "What's the stupidest thing you ever did at a party?" etc etc

    It's really, REALLY safe and easy to get a person to talk about themselves. :wink:
     
  4. dickman45885

    dickman45885 New Member

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    On a date.....get to talk about self....and listen and ask questions.
     
  5. SpoiledPrincess

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    If I run out of something to say I say 'I'm going now,' If I run out of something to say on a date I know that the guy I'm with isn't going to suit me.
     
  6. makersmark

    makersmark New Member

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    WHOA!!! What pressure... as an insightful friend of mine says... we read way too much into the first couple of dates... what more is asked of someone on a first date than to order from a menu?!

    If you like each other, give it a chance. Hold his/her hand during the silence and the silence will turn out not to be so quiet after all.
     
  7. _avg_

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    I'll reiterate, periods of silence aren't always bad, but asking a person about themselves is the best 'icebreaker' there.
     
  8. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    :eek::redface::wink::biggrin1::tongue: In that order. LOL!~
     
  9. rob_just_rob

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  10. Ethyl

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    I never had a problem with silence. If the other person was comfortable with it, then I always thought that was a good sign. If someone is so uncomfortable with silence that they feel the need to fill up the space with idle chatter, they're not going to be good conversationalists overall, IMO. You have to know when it's good to be quiet as well as have a wide range of topics to talk about.
     
  11. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Nothing wrong with silence. If it does last too long though just say " Did you know I'm a member of LPSG" :wink:
     
  12. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    When you first go out on a date with someone you don't know at all, I think it's better to go with others peeps or couples. It's generally more fun but you still have some time to get to know your date. Try it. It works.
     
  13. rob_just_rob

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    How do you go out with other people if you don't know each other? Either you're going out with her friends (bad), your friends (worse) or strangers (how did that happen in the first place?).
     
  14. B_spiker067

    B_spiker067 New Member

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    Yes, listen is the part every other guys misses out on.
     
  15. NCbear

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    I shut up instead of filling the silence.

    NCbear (who likes going out on dates with his man)
     
  16. CUBE

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    Be curious, ask questions of the person...men love to talk about themselves
     
  17. braumeister

    braumeister New Member

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    When you ask questions of the person about him or her, make sure they are open-ended questions. Chances are a yes or no question will lead to more silence.
     
  18. Principessa

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    It's been so long since I have been on a real date I can't remember. :redface: I suppose I'd comment on the weather or the local sports franchise.:tongue:
     
  19. whatireallywant

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    I really have a hard time with this myself, being very shy and as the OP put it, "conversationally challenged". Sometimes conversation can just flow, and that can be very good, but other time it doesn't, and trying to force it just makes it worse (to me anyway). One of my pet peeves is when people say to me "You're so quiet" trying to get me to say something/use that statement as a supposed "ice breaker". It just makes me clam up even worse!

    I do try to make conversation - I have a hard time starting them because I never really learned how. But I can often join in and do ok from that point, depending on the topic of conversation.
     
  20. earllogjam

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    lol. Mmmm hmmm. After saying that do I whip my dick out and thump it next to the bread basket to prove it. :rolleyes:

    There is an art to convesation that I never mastered. There always is an appropriate tone, rhythm and timing to good conversations - a meeting of the minds, a connection, humor, inclusion, freedom, a feeling of effortlessness and genuine interest. Time whips by when you are having a great conversation. Finding that shared interest is half the battle I think so I guess listening is absolutely necessary. Successful conversations cannot take place when you are hiding some sort of resentment, animosity or uneasyness about a person. It helps if you are also on an equal footing. Humor always helps to get a person to ease up and start talking.

    I actually don't really like talking about myself so I am generally the one who asks the questions or else I always end up saying things like - "Oh yeah we got new kitchen curtains in 1984." or some other stupid embarrassing comment born from anxiety over the silence. I hate that silence. It makes me squirm in discomfort. My personal hell would be made up of that silence and public speaking.

    I usually end up smiling a lot and feeling phoney when I don't have anything to say. Smile and nod. Terrible. I have a hard time feigning interest these days. Rolling your eyes back in your head is not conducive to conversation I have found. I know when the topic denegrates to the weather we are entering serious small talk territory. Or worse, yawning, a point of no return for a redeeming evening.
     
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