On a Date- What do you talk about when you run out of things to say?

No_Strings

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I might aswell quote Uma;

Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
 

Sixofspades

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I try to put myself in her shoes when out on a date. I don't talk about sports, cars, perversity, deep/intense things, or work. Those are real mood killers. I like to think of what she'd be into and try to go from there. Like I'll pretend to know the latest on Brad and Angelina even though I don't give a shit personally. Or I'll make fun of how flamboyant our waiter is. That's inidicative of how I am, I try to keep it lighthearted and fun, with a dash of seriousness every now and then. But generally speaking, I'm not afraid to bust her balls a bit and treat her like a sister. I think a big part of not feeling awkward is assuming a certain level of familiarity. Not to the point where it's intrusive, but just enough to make her feel comfortable so she loosens up and wants to talk freely.
 

Broke_Down

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I usually avoid awkward silence by picking date locations where silence simply won't be awkward. However, I can't always avoid awkwardness, so I pick up random little bits of strange information (that aren't too weird) and recite one or two of them if push comes to shove. Sometimes that works for me and sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes it's a good idea to simply not say anything at all - silence can be a good thing.
 

ClaireTalon

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I wouldn't put pressure on myself to avoid or steer clear of a phase of silence. Nonverbal communication is the magic word here: Smile, look at him or do something else to provoke a reaction. Usually a look, paired with a hinting smile, does the trick within 5 seconds, and is usually enough to get the conversation back to work.
 

D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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I suuuuuuuuuuck with small talk. Terrible at it. Can't do it ever. When the silent moments creep up, I'm pretty much dead in the water. I think it's going to depend on how well you already know the person and the connection you two have. Open-ended questions are good, the general stuff (where did you grow up, family, school, etc) are fine on the first date, maybe talk about stuff in the news. And don't be afraid to talk about yourself a bit. Obviously not the whole time but she/he is going to want to get to know you, as well. Don't think the burden of silence breaking is all on you. Takes 2 to go out on a date.

Another thing to try is avoid activities that are often prone to awkward silence. These things include walks on the beach/city/whatever, shopping, roadtrips, the bar, and others. You can't talk during movies, however, and at dinner you don't want to talk with your mouth full and at a concert it's too loud to talk. Try double-dating so as to have other people to carry the conversation. It really helps if you can bring along a friend you're comfortable with to support you.
 

D_Roland_D_Hay

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My suggestion: talk about yourself and how wonderful you are. And then talk more about yourself, interrupt the other person and talk more about you...that will guarantee that you don't get another date and have to worry about the awkward silence.

Seriously, however, I agree with what has been said. Sometimes the silence isn't awkward...gives each of you a break to think about what to talk about next. I also ask the other person questions about themselves..not yes or no responses. I listen to what they have to say and usually that will give you enough material to work from for the rest of the evening.

Good luck to you.
 

B_cigarbabe

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I wouldn't put pressure on myself to avoid or steer clear of a phase of silence. Nonverbal communication is the magic word here: Smile, look at him or do something else to provoke a reaction. Usually a look, paired with a hinting smile, does the trick within 5 seconds, and is usually enough to get the conversation back to work.

I have to go with what Claire said here. That one meaningful look, was what got me Mr. Ed! On our first date,I was a little annoyed because my mother told him to come upstairs,I wanted to meet him in the lobby.
Boy was he funny looking! He also turned out to be a funny and very sweet guy! Lucky me! There weren't too many silent moments, on our date, but I find a sexy strong look, will do wonders for letting them know you like them!
Back to your regularly scheduled post.:hijacked:
cigarbabe:saevil:
 

silvertriumph2

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I'm not one who has ever had this problem. Well, maybe a few times, but this said, I have never had a problem with "silence." The old saying is very true...silence is golden...or it can be. I do realize that sometimes silence can be absolutely deafening! Especially when the two of you are new to each other, are nervous and worried about making an excellent impression on each other. And, you, or both of you, are also worried about saying the wrong thing or being.....heaven help us...boring.

I'm not one for idle chatter and in many cases would prefer silence. I've never understood why there is a need to be constantly talking. Being connected with a person is a lot more than just talking. I am a very tactile person and love to be touched and to touch. A hand on the arm or shoulder, the use of facial and eye expressions, a smile or laugh, can sometimes relay more than words can.

Always be polite, and always seem to be interested in the person and what they say, even though maybe you aren't. Even if you find the person not to your liking and believe the connection will end after that date....always be polite and never let it seem that you are disinterested or bored. Leave them thinking that you found them interesting and that you had a good time. Don't worry, if the karma was not there, they will know if the feelings aren't right. Hopefully!

People like to talk about themselves. I always try to equalize the talk about the both of us...give some info and then ask about them with a questions that requires more than a yes or no answer. It is amazing how much people like to talk about themselves, even when they say they don't.

Of course, when you get to know each other well, you are comfortable and other feeling take over, there will be no need to talk....maybe some moans,
yells, squeals, or a few well placed words of encouragement or of sexual joy! But them, let's hope we have gotten to that place, none of us will have to worry about talking or silence any longer!
 

Osiris

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Observe, listen, and respond accordingly.

Every date I have been on, I watch my date. Look at what she is looking at or listen to what she is talking about and expound from there. At some point she will do the same with you.

Conversation comes a lot easier when you pick a point of reference that you both can relate to and that comes from attentive listening and acute observation.
 

Osiris

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When you run out of things to talk about, isn't that when you are supposed to get married?

You get married when you run out of good places to have and good positions for sex. :biggrin1:

The wife and I are merely livestock churning out more young for the herd. :biggrin1:
 

BigDuder

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go to a movie before dinner and talk about the movie. read a lot of reviews of the movie so that you will have tons of fun facts about it. do not let the conversation move on. to topics. whatever she wants to talk about, find some way to relate it to the movie you just saw. she will find this romantic because you remember your first date. this is the key to a woman's heart.
 

Not_Punny

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Earl baby, you're much too nice to ever have to worry about this.

Another suggestion: if I'm going to a fancy "do" where I don't know anyone, I spend 15 minutes online at MSN news or Fox news read up on recent interesting events. It makes me seem ooohhh sooooo sophisticated...

And DaveyR has a point -- talking about being on LPSG would definitely break some ice!

I'll have try it next time I'm out on the town.... :wink: