On A Scale Of "that's Kinda Cute" To Straight Blocking Me On Here, How Cringey Is What I Did Today?

[MickeyLee]

Creepy is like an accent. People who are creep/have an accent are usually unaware. Cuz their baseline normal is creepy/their accent.

Ya fast proving yaself to be Creepy Dude Bane

Oh, you think creepiness is your ally. But you merely adopted the creepy; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the non-creepy until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING! The shadows betray you, because they belong to me! I will show you where I have made my home while preparing to bring justice. Then I will break you.

 

[MariaMaria2]

Oh, my...what a turn this thread has taken LOL
OP, this is the deal from my perspective:
I go to the woods 4-5 times a week and I go there to disconnect from everything and be alone. I treasure my time there. If I had found that note, I would have left it alone. I would have also cringed a bit because I don't know you/what your motives are (checking out the ass, major turn off/potential red flag) and I would dread seeing you there again; and then, things would be awkward...and that's a thought that would probably stay with me for a couple of weeks, thus making my hikes less enjoyable. It's nothing horrific or jaded or anything like that. It would just make me uncomfortable and then a bit resentful because I didn't ask for any of this.
I think people have offered valid suggestions, so I'll leave things here.

 

[PlumTip]

Creepy is like an accent. People who are creep/have an accent are usually unaware. Cuz their baseline normal is creepy/their accent.

Ya fast proving yaself to be Creepy Dude Bane

Oh, you think creepiness is your ally. But you merely adopted the creepy; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the non-creepy until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING! The shadows betray you, because they belong to me! I will show you where I have made my home while preparing to bring justice. Then I will break you.

Lol K

 

[PlumTip]

Oh, my...what a turn this thread has taken LOL
OP, this is the deal from my perspective:
I go to the woods 4-5 times a week and I go there to disconnect from everything and be alone. I treasure my time there. If I had found that note, I would have left it alone. I would have also cringed a bit because I don't know you/what your motives are (checking out the ass, major turn off/potential red flag) and I would dread seeing you there again; and then, things would be awkward...and that's a thought that would probably stay with me for a couple of weeks, thus making my hikes less enjoyable. It's nothing horrific or jaded or anything like that. It would just make me uncomfortable and then a bit resentful because I didn't ask for any of this.
I think people have offered valid suggestions, so I'll leave things here.

And I appreciate your diplomatic response. Thanks.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Yeah...and the fact that she was super sweet and friendly only led me to want to get to know her more. Which everyone here is mistaking for "being fuckable". It is like nobody thinks that initial attraction is a necessary part of the entire courting ritual.

Also, my reaction is based on me asking if what I did was cringe worthy, but then they're just jumping in and going "yes, you're creepy as fuck". I know for a fact I am not "creepy" but some of the ladies in here act like it is their job to berate every man on here that doesn't kiss ass. I won't do that. But I will defend myself against chicks that cant read and attack my character.

Learn to fucking read.

I specifically told you "I don't think you're a creep". Re fucking read. Understand. Stop reacting with your emotional penis.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Although I think some women here misread your post and interpreted that you left a note on her car and their responses aren't 100% applicable.

Oh, I read it right. I compared it to what happened to me because reading it immediately made me feel similarly to how I felt when I found that note on my car.

I didn't misunderstand at all. Like I mentioned, the circumstance was slightly different, but personally I don't find it any less creepy than when that rando left that creepy-ass note on my windshield.

Just to clarify.

 

[286798]

Yeah...and the fact that she was super sweet and friendly only led me to want to get to know her more. Which everyone here is mistaking for "being fuckable". It is like nobody thinks that initial attraction is a necessary part of the entire courting ritual.

Also, my reaction is based on me asking if what I did was cringe worthy, but then they're just jumping in and going "yes, you're creepy as fuck". I know for a fact I am not "creepy" but some of the ladies in here act like it is their job to berate every man on here that doesn't kiss ass. I won't do that. But I will defend myself against chicks that cant read and attack my character.

Suggest you read my initial reaction and then your responses to the women between to see why my tone changed. I don't have any issue with your note, but I don't like how you dismissed the honest opinions of the women here THAT YOU ASKED FOR. No one berated you until that happened. They may have not gone along with what you wanted to hear, but they talked about how they didn't like WHAT YOU DID, not how they don't like WHO YOU ARE. Big difference. That's not "attacking your character". And it's certainly not berating you because you don't kiss ass.

Here's the thing, pal... _I_ am super sweet and friendly (and not hard on the eyes) and have found myself in situations where men misinterpreted my friendly nature as romantic interest more often than I like to admit. The reaction to being told "no thanks" has been everything from a genuine "I'm sorry, I just hoped to get to know you" to physical threats and insults. This is the reality of what it's like to be a woman and reject a man's advances. I'd bet that every woman who's responded here has experienced the same thing. It SUCKS. That's why I said I'd be glad to have the option to reach out if I were interested rather than asking face to face where I have to worry about the strong possibility that my "no thanks" might be met with "Stuck up bitch, am I not good enough for you?" or "whatever- you're ugly anyway" or "yeah, your ass is too big for me anyway" or "Enjoy your hike, your tires will be slashed when you get back". But ya know... we women folk need to lighten the hell up and not be jaded. Alright then.

Before you dismiss my experiences and opinions... not saying YOU would be a douche if she rejected you. Not saying ALL men do. But given how defensive you became over our not telling you it's gonna turn out like a Penthouse Forum letter, I'm not entirely sure how it'd go.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Oh, we are chicks now?
View media item 2992661
Let me throw the rest on here... fat, ugly, sluts, skanks, bitter, old, lonely, dried up, angry, feminist, lesbian, no one wants to fuck us.... Oh, and “if we hate men why are we on this big dick site not worshipping peen?“
Did I miss any?

Damn, son.
Don’t ask what you don’t want answers for.
And listen to the women who gave you great advice on how to do similar better next time.

Personally, aside from a great distaste of having random men act like the trail is a meat market, and they do here, it’s one reason I go midweek and early, and a general dislike of the lack of cyclist trail manners, the note was fine. One can block their number, and block another’s if need be. And sadly, we do think this way.

It was funny. But, was posting it on a trailhead sign cool? Not really. Leave No Trace applies in city parks as much as the Grand Canyon.

And Dream Girl is dancing a thin line between cute, lame and stalkerish.
We never know someone’s past. She could have a restraining order on someone right now. Hell, she could be the one served.

Here are some names that keep hikers who happen to be women on their toes
Michele Vanek, missing since 2005
Amy Ahonen, last seen alive July 8, 2011. Remains found in multiple places, miles from where her car was found at the trail head between 2013 and 2014. She disappeared not long after someone replied to a roommate ad and tried to kiss her.
Suzanne Morphew, missing since May 10, [2020]. She was riding near a cross point with the CT and Monarch trails. Her husband is a person of interest.
All of these women have vanished within 75 miles of where I live. I hike these areas. With bear spray.

 

[neutrno]

I would smile at the note and dispose of it without touching it. Leave no trace!

The problem with it, though, is that you may have scared her away from a place she liked.

Many men become vengeful when women don't respond to them. How is she supposed to know you aren't one of those? Revenge stuff is so common nowadays.

Therefore, many of us would be afraid of ever seeing you there again and would avoid it.

If you ever see her again, pretend you haven't. Don't scare her away from her hiking spot.

You asked where you can meet and talk to women. Not in a place where a woman would feel particularly vulnerable. When/where we're hiking alone is really a bad time/place.

If it happens in the middle of a city, in a busy place, something with more people around, that's better.

Can't you see this?

Imagine you have a daughter who hikes alone. She comes home and tells you about the guy and the note. Wouldn't you tell her to be careful and not go back there?

That's a way to know if you're being appropriate: imagine you're her father/mother listening to the story and how you'd feel.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’d add, if she says hey to you if you see her again, be chill.

 

[PlumTip]

Knock it off and quit being a crybaby.


Also, up your cyclist manners. Trails are for everyone.
And six feet, mmmkay?

Trust me I am good with the etiquette on trails. This particular trail is an offshoot singletrack that is a primary downhill trail with jumps, berms, and skinnies so you really don't expect hikers coming up, but you're right I do need to get a bell. Usually my rear hub that sounds like an angry rattlesnake gets the job done but not always apparently.

 

[286798]

Imagine you have a daughter who hikes alone. She comes home and tells you about the guy and the note. Wouldn't you tell her to be careful and not go back there?

Exactly this. Men should always treat women how they hope a man treats his daughter.

Or this.
View media item 2990331

 

[deleted924715]

Exactly this. Men should always treat women how they hope a man treats his daughter.

That principle keeps me in check too to be fair. How would I feel if my son were on the receiving end?

I'm generally pretty fair and down to earth, but that thought effectively squishes any princess-like behaviour I might have been tempted towards.

 

[Enid]

Personally, like a lot of other women have said, I would find it a little uncomfortable. I've had a note left for me before and it didn't inspire me to call, even though the guy was reasonably attractive. The reason? He said all these physically complimentary things and it turned me off, because all he was waxing rhapsodic about was looks.

There's something else about this that bothers me, and it's that sometimes I just wanna be left alone, and a woman hiking alone sounds a lot like someone who also would like to be left alone. But maybe that's me, I dunno.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with approaching someone in public...friendly chit-chat in the appropriate environment without coming on too strong about looks etc while paying attention to nonverbal cues is totes acceptable, in my book. I just happen to believe that this wasn't the appropriate environment because it is not like you can read the nonverbal communication (also, solitary activity).

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I'm thinking this thread was started because dude wanted to get flamed.

I'm just providing bruh. You wanted it, ya got it.

 

[Mittimer]

I'm thinking this thread was started because dude wanted to get flamed.

I'm just providing bruh. You wanted it, ya got it.

Seems a lot of guys who start threads in this section only want validation for their actions and desires. Then get super pissy and petulant when we don't provide that validation. It's an amusing as hell.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Seems a lot of guys who start threads in this section only want validation for their actions and desires. Then get super pissy and petulant when we don't provide that validation. It's an amusing as hell.

They seem to forget, we're not all here to stroke egos, or help them stroke their own cocks.

This guy especially, the way he phrased this "question" is evidence that he clearly knew before posting it that what he did may have been creepy. He just wanted us to make him feel all better and comfort him after having done something he fucking knew was stupid. Then he whined like a punk-ass when he had to face the reality that yeah. He did something kinda dumb.

Rather than accept it and move on he threw a fit like a fucking toddler because apparently he can't handle having a woman tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Imagine how he would react if he *had* asked her out face to face and she said no? From what happened here I don't think it would be good for anyone involved.

I think he needs to grow up a bit before trying to find a "dream girl" any goddamn way.

 

[PlumTip]

They seem to forget, we're not all here to stroke egos, or help them stroke their own cocks.

This guy especially, the way he phrased this "question" is evidence that he clearly knew before posting it that what he did may have been creepy. He just wanted us to make him feel all better and comfort him after having done something he fucking knew was stupid. Then he whined like a punk-ass when he had to face the reality that yeah. He did something kinda dumb.

Rather than accept it and move on he threw a fit like a fucking toddler because apparently he can't handle having a woman tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Imagine how he would react if he *had* asked her out face to face and she said no? From what happened here I don't think it would be good for anyone involved.

I think he needs to grow up a bit before trying to find a "dream girl" any goddamn way.

Ahh yes, yet another example of you not having any reading comprehension and then reacting poorly.

The way I "phrased" my question...was that I wanted to know if it was "cringe" (aka "lol what a dork"), not creepy. So you...whose job it apparently is to shit on men all day, reacted by telling an irrelevant story about some guy that stalked you at your work and followed you to your car. Unlike a guy that almost hit you, apologized, then went on his merry way and left a note that only described the clothing, not body parts, NOTHING SEXUAL WHATSOEVER.

Then your little troupe of groupies read your reaction and then hopped on the bandwagon of whatever the hell you were on about and just agreed without reading anything.

So now people are saying how creepy it is of me to leave a note on her car and follow her, which never happened.

Also now, apparently I am some violent psychopath that would have harmed her if she said no in person.

You are a fucking weirdo. Just stop. I doubt you will because you literally cannot stop yourself from imagining these bizarre scenarios and making me out to be this heinous rapey predator...all because I left a note and a phone number.

Get help.

 

[PlumTip]

Cant wait to read what kind of mental gymnastics gets posted now lol.

"Oh mah gaw! Men just can't take rejection. They're so frail with their egos blah blah blah."

Lol

 

[286798]

Don't you get it???? What you deem "cringey" may come across as "creepy" or crossing a line to make a woman uncomfortable? Just because YOU don't mean it in a negative way doesn't mean that a woman may take it negatively because of how some men react to rejection or not blindly agreeing... too damn often. WAY too damn often. Like you're doing here.

And no one is saying you're a heinous rapey predator. That's another example of you not having any reading comprehension and then reacting poorly.