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These are mostly self-thoughts that I was going to put into a blog, but I thought I would post it here because I would really appreciate others' input on some of the questions and comments I pose in here. Maybe some of you have been here yourself... Maybe you're even in a similar situation, now. But it's time for me to make a change in my life, and here are some goals I have made for my own personal betterment:
1. Don't compare yourself with others.
Yeah... I do this too often. I constantly see others succeed in what I fail to accomplish. It's really discouraging and demotivating, and I honestly feel indignant toward the successful. It's horrible, they don't deserve that treatment, and I know this. It's actually very selfish of me, which is a problem in and of itself. Anyway, I've tried to observe/listen and see/hear what they do so differently, but there is no different technique or task. It just works out for them, and not for me. Obviously this is my own downfall, because even if it is not the cause of my unhappiness, it certainly does not help the situation. How can I utilize the failures more effectively in my life? It's not serving much of a learning experience if the same result happens with different strategies - I have been learning from them, but the only thing I can gain from it is that I haven't succeeded. And how can I stop comparing my failures to the successes of others?
2. Don't seek approval from others.
In almost any social situation, I have the need to be accepted before I can feel comfortable and open. Often, though, I don't receive this welcome and I feel like I'm not wanted. About a year ago, I used to be so open and so lively... My confidence was radiating. And then it fell, gradually, mostly because of the first point. I would owe it all to that first point, but I'm sure it's not so clear-cut as that. Regardless, maybe if I can fix that first point that this one would resolve itself naturally... right?
3. Accept that life is not fair.
Maybe I'm just not the type of person who is meant to succeed at what I want to accomplish. Maybe I should just move on and be content with that conclusion. Maybe I shouldn't expect so much from either myself or the situation... But does that mean I should "settle" for whatever comes my way? I mean, any result is better than no result, right? But should I think this way?
Actually, I question that this last point would resolve anything. Shouldn't I think more positively, that I can achieve anything even if I've been failing at it for so long? Maybe all I need is a little boost, a push to move forward and onward. I don't look to my family for this support because I don't expect it from them... I try to look for my friends, but they are rarely helpful...
So instead, I try to take a break from these tasks and keep myself busy with other things, but having no interests or passions really makes this rather difficult. I mean, what can I possibly do to serve as a distraction and keep my mind focused on something else? I am involved in community service, and while it does help me to realize there are so many others who are less fortunate than me, this does nothing to fix my challenges... In fact, I would say that it exacerbates them - or at least it does my mood. Any happiness that I do gain from helping others is temporary, because at the end of the day, I come back home to face my own challenges. Again with my selfishness. How can I make the good feelings last longer, even permanently?
I appreciate any ideas or comments that any one has, whether or not you think it's something I want to hear. I'm open to anything. Thank you.
1. Don't compare yourself with others.
Yeah... I do this too often. I constantly see others succeed in what I fail to accomplish. It's really discouraging and demotivating, and I honestly feel indignant toward the successful. It's horrible, they don't deserve that treatment, and I know this. It's actually very selfish of me, which is a problem in and of itself. Anyway, I've tried to observe/listen and see/hear what they do so differently, but there is no different technique or task. It just works out for them, and not for me. Obviously this is my own downfall, because even if it is not the cause of my unhappiness, it certainly does not help the situation. How can I utilize the failures more effectively in my life? It's not serving much of a learning experience if the same result happens with different strategies - I have been learning from them, but the only thing I can gain from it is that I haven't succeeded. And how can I stop comparing my failures to the successes of others?
2. Don't seek approval from others.
In almost any social situation, I have the need to be accepted before I can feel comfortable and open. Often, though, I don't receive this welcome and I feel like I'm not wanted. About a year ago, I used to be so open and so lively... My confidence was radiating. And then it fell, gradually, mostly because of the first point. I would owe it all to that first point, but I'm sure it's not so clear-cut as that. Regardless, maybe if I can fix that first point that this one would resolve itself naturally... right?
3. Accept that life is not fair.
Maybe I'm just not the type of person who is meant to succeed at what I want to accomplish. Maybe I should just move on and be content with that conclusion. Maybe I shouldn't expect so much from either myself or the situation... But does that mean I should "settle" for whatever comes my way? I mean, any result is better than no result, right? But should I think this way?
Actually, I question that this last point would resolve anything. Shouldn't I think more positively, that I can achieve anything even if I've been failing at it for so long? Maybe all I need is a little boost, a push to move forward and onward. I don't look to my family for this support because I don't expect it from them... I try to look for my friends, but they are rarely helpful...
So instead, I try to take a break from these tasks and keep myself busy with other things, but having no interests or passions really makes this rather difficult. I mean, what can I possibly do to serve as a distraction and keep my mind focused on something else? I am involved in community service, and while it does help me to realize there are so many others who are less fortunate than me, this does nothing to fix my challenges... In fact, I would say that it exacerbates them - or at least it does my mood. Any happiness that I do gain from helping others is temporary, because at the end of the day, I come back home to face my own challenges. Again with my selfishness. How can I make the good feelings last longer, even permanently?
I appreciate any ideas or comments that any one has, whether or not you think it's something I want to hear. I'm open to anything. Thank you.