One night stand *capable*better??*

[13788]

Javierdude22: Hey there,

I have a question. Untill the recent past i had never had a one night stand, and kinda felt like an idiot that i hadnt...dont ask why, must be a testosterone thing (or not ladies?)...mainly i guess it was cause i had moral problems with it. But eventually i did give in, and had a one night stand....and felt completely shitty after that...

That made me feel an even bigger dumbass, but couldnt help myself. After that, kinda by accident, i had another one, and decided to never do that again from then on. I just couldnt i guess.

After that i got into a steady relationship, and im pretty happy now. The thing is that ive noticed the sex is also WAY better in a relationship than just casual, although the excitement i felt to have sex initially was the same, and it wasnt the fault of the partners ive been with. Im guessing the love componnent must be the thing thats doing it for me.

Now i know for some people that doenst add anything, but i was wondering you guys's perspective on this. Did you have your best sex in a one night stand or was it best in a relationship? Are you even capable of having a one night stand? Did you regret it?

Laterz

 

[txquis]

True, it is different for everyone,
but i feel as you do.

As exciting and "in the moment" as
some of the one night stands have been,
I've been much more fulfilled
in a relationship.

When you combine emotional love
and trust, with the physcial,
it is mind blowing.
(for me)

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

I've plenty of one night stands, and I enjoyed them. Let's face it: an orgasm feels good. But the pleasure was purely physical ... sort of a glorified masturbation. I was not making love with someone I cared about, but rather fucking the hot-looking dude with the spectacular ass. And I didn't have a problem with that. It provided some very agreeable sensations, and I did experience some very good sex.
 However, when you add emotion to the mix, you've taken the sensations to a whole other level. The physical pleasure of getting off can't begin to compare with the melding of physical and emotional togetherness. It's impossible to explain the difference to someone who's never been there.
 I'm not knocking one night stands; that would be rather hypocritical of me considering how many I've had and enjoyed. If, however, they leave you feeling guilty and empty, they're just not for you. Everyone is different, and one night stands have no place in some people's moral menu. And if sex only feels right in a serious relationship, good for you. You'll probably experience the best sex has to offer ... union with a person instead of just getting off.  

 

[jonb]

Whopper's right. Some people can get by with just sex, without any emotional attachment, but that's not the majority of the population. I used to think I could, when I was 14, but I realized I needed more.

 

[13788]

mr17yearold: i am a very relationship-type person, and being intimate and having sex with someone i feel should be done with someone u care for and love. i do not think i could have a one-night stand, although im still a virgin, so what would i know...

 

[13788]

Donk: I think sex gets better in a relationship in the long run. Part of it is the emotional attachment. Part of it is simply that "practice makes perfect"--when you have sex with the same person often over a long period of time you learn what moves and techniques please each other the most.

 

[13788]

SpeedoGuy: I agree with DoubleMeatWhopper.

I've had my share of one-nighters or very short term flings and I enjoyed them for all they were worth at the time. My  fondest recollections of those one-nighters almost always centered on savoring the anticipation of enjoying a breathless romp in the hay (or wherever it happened to be). It was just as much a thrill to note the impressed reactions of partners (shock and awe?) when they first caught a glimpse of what I had to show them.

But in the end, the hollow feeling I got after even the most exciting flings proved less fulfilling than the steady security of a long term relationship. The long termer  doesn't provide that sudden rush like the one nighters did but it has many other qualities that  overide the loss of surprise and spontaneity.  Like other aspects of my life, the one-nighters are a thing of the past and I've moved into a new phase.

SG

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

[quote author=Donk link=board=meetgreet;num=1052759691;start=0#5 date=05/15/03 at 05:30:22]I think sex gets better in a relationship in the long run.[/quote]

I understand this opinion, and while I don't necessarily disagree, there is something to be said for the first time with someone you care for. There is something so fresh and new, a sense of wonderment, in two people experiencing sexual union for the first time; that's a feeling that's hard to beat.

 

[13788]

Javierdude22: Hm...i guess its all about how you look at things. I can see your point DMW, and totally agree with you.

For me personally though i found i feel awkward...simply cause you dont know that person all that well yet to perhaps feel love or so....but i can understand that in many cause that might just as well be the case, and then being together for the fisrt time is a definite thrill.

I know what you mean Donk about 'knowing eachother better' learning how we move, react, what we like etc....that thats what makes it all better, even besides for example love.

The weird thing is that even though i know ill feel like shit afterwards i do many times get the urge to go with the flow and just go along with people for one night...somehow that urge fades after i tried it again though. Is that a way of upbringing, cause i was kinda brought up conservatively. O well...

Laterz