one-night stand vs. committed relationship

[Gillette]

[FONT=Arial Narrow][SIZE=4][COLOR=black][B]From the gay men I know and what I've observed, it would seem that the lifestyle could be well suited to having one night stands, if that was one's goal, for a long time past the age of 35, especially with the use of the internet and dating sites. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

You've outdone yourself.

What the fuck is this now? A scroll bar? Really?

 

[tiggerpoo]

Commitment for me. I'm not one-night-stand material.

People go for ONS for the sex and excitement. No on one ever looked at me and thought "what a hunk, how sexy, he must be well hung". I'd make a fool of myself if I even attempted that.

Women love me for a host of reasons: my education, my status, my money, my voice, my empathy, and so on. None of these lead to ONS.

Besides, I don't mess about.

 

[marleyisalegend]

Not everything is about you.

that's ridiculously untrue, why would you say something like that?? :wink:

 

[marleyisalegend]

OKAY ONS is kind of one-dimensional so I'm going to try to introduce a slightly different angle on this. instead of just one-night stands vs. relationship what about casual sex as well vs. one-night stands. casual sex doesn't mean it has to be with different people, it could mean multiple partners but it could also be a continual sexual relationship with one person you know that's simply "no-strings attached"

 

[strike4]

I am more a fan of 10-30 night stands that evolve into trusting friendships. I guess that's what is sometimes called "short-term dating." I really love sex and responsibly sharing myself and my body with people who excite me physically, emotionally, and intellectually. At the same time, I don't want to enter into a fully-committed serious relationship unless the other person and I compliment one another in a broad and deep way (and this is truly a rarity). The fact that I move to different countries for my work a few times every year merely makes forming long-term relationships more complicated.

 

[Hellboy0]

I Have Been In The Same Relationship For 24 Years. We Are Gay Guys And For Us The Relationship Has Changed Over The Years. It Is Not Always Fun Or Perfect But At The End Of The Day I Know He Has My Back! He Loves Me Best Of All!

And THAT is what a relationship should be, folks. It's obviously a mature, experienced response, unlike some of the Romance-Novel ideas spouted about what to expect.

Thanks chavous!!! Am sending you a massive hug and a pash.:tongue:

 

[Hellboy0]

I am more a fan of 10-30 night stands that evolve into trusting friendships. I guess that's what is sometimes called "short-term dating." I really love sex and responsibly sharing myself and my body with people who excite me physically, emotionally, and intellectually. At the same time, I don't want to enter into a fully-committed serious relationship unless the other person and I compliment one another in a broad and deep way (and this is truly a rarity). The fact that I move to different countries for my work a few times every year merely makes forming long-term relationships more complicated.

Ooooh. I LIKE that, strike4. I'm very much the same when not in an LTR. One-nighters are fun but the following nights/days/etc can start to really hot up the fun between me and my partners. Doesn't mean I wanna date them...but a fuckbuddy (for lack of a nicer term) can be a very rewarding and satisfying relationship.

 

[MovingForward]

1 Night Stand = Sex

Committed Relationship= Making Love

 

[Lex]

Alex, I'll take "A committed relationship with occasional joint one-nighters for $500 please!"

1 Night Stand = Sex

Committed Relationship= Making Love

Not always. My man and I sometimes FUCK. Primal, heated, testosterone driven fucking. We also make love, too! Often.

I am not downplaying the emotional connection of sex within a committed relationship; I am merely pointing out that committed people can have hard and hot sex as well.

 

[Ms.Teacher]

this isn't a new topic by any means but i'm bored so what the hell. tell me do you prefer one nights stands or would you rather be in a committed relationship??

To the OP or anyone for that matter:

what do you consider a one night stand?
Someone you never knew before and you have sex with them that same night?
Or could it be someone you've known for a while as a friend and have a one nighter with?

Maybe either one??

I've never had either of the above...only committed relationship sex.

Commited relationship, simply because I'd rather put forth the work for it. Notably, though, my heart and mind can't take anything nearing promiscuity (safe or not). I'm just not wired that way.

Sounds like me.

The thought of having sex with someone I just met grosses me out. He might be dirty, diseased or deranged.

 

[Principessa]

To the OP or anyone for that matter:
What do you consider a one night stand?

Someone you never knew before and you have sex with them that same night?

This is the classic one-night-stand. There is no other appropriate definition. It is an anonymous assignation.

Or could it be someone you've known for a while as a friend and have a one nighter with?

No, this is a FWB - friend with benefits. The benefit being, they get to have sex with you.

Maybe either one??

No, there is a clear delineation. Don't try to confuse things with your piety.

I've never had either of the above...only committed relationship sex.

Well aren't you just ever so smug and special.

 

[B_superlarge]

To the OP or anyone for that matter:

The thought of having sex with someone I just met grosses me out. He might be dirty, diseased or deranged.

Or he might be fine as hell like me.

 

[B_superlarge]

To the OP or anyone for that matter:
What do you consider a one night stand?
This is the classic one-night-stand. There is no other appropriate definition. It is an anonymous assignation.

No, this is a FWB - friend with benefits. The benefit being, they get to have sex with you.

No, there is a clear delineation. Don't try to confuse things with your piety.

Well aren't you just ever so smug and special.

Good post. Awful avatar.

 

[Principessa]

Good post. Awful avatar.

What?! Mr. Bean is sexy, see the sexy twinkle in his eyes? :wink:

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm not generally one to side with Ms. Teacher, but I don't think she should always be assumed to be taking shots at us. When she says,

I've never had either of the above...only committed relationship sex.

Why can;t she simply be describing herself with no aspersions necessarily cast upon anyone else. I wonder if deciding that that she's being smug or derogatory speaks more to the state of mind of the interpretors rather than the interpreted.

Simply put, let's try harder to get along. Let's be harder to offend. Or, let's ignore me. Whatever.

 

[Hellboy0]

What?! Mr. Bean is sexy, see the sexy twinkle in his eyes? :wink:

njqt, you know I love you...but your new avatar freaks me out! LOL

I'll be waiting impatiently for the next one that you put up; knowing you, it'll be soon.

 

[bigkokluver]

commitment, is such a beautiful idea, it may not always be perfect but it sure is wonderful....ummm especially ifhe has a big dick! makes me feel like a queen to know that i am cumming home everynight to a big dick thats MINE.

 

[Ms.Teacher]

No, there is a clear delineation. Don't try to confuse things with your piety.

I got the impression there wasn't, that's why I asked. I've known people who don't have friends with benefits, but have had a one night stand with a person they knew. It wasn't a total stranger that they picked up in a bar. They may have known the person because they go to the same club or gym together, and it just so happens that they got together for sex one night; not totally anonymous sex.

Well aren't you just ever so smug and special.

Come on. There's nothing wrong with never having had a one nighter. :smile:

Or he might be fine as hell like me.

That was kind of my point.

Two people who meet in a club, and have never even known or seen each other before. There is some kind of mutual chemistry going on. So, they go to one of their places, and she's just about to go down on him, and the guy stinks or has some funky looking spots on his penis.

Meanwhile, she may have all her clothes off. What then?

She could reluctantly go ahead with it.
Tell him he smells and suggest they take a shower together.
Or say, "I just remembered, I have to get up early tomorrow morning....see ya!"

I'm not generally one to side with Ms. Teacher, but I don't think she should always be assumed to be taking shots at us. When she says, Why can;t she simply be describing herself with no aspersions necessarily cast upon anyone else. I wonder if deciding that that she's being smug or derogatory speaks more to the state of mind of the interpretors rather than the interpreted.

Simply put, let's try harder to get along. Let's be harder to offend. Or, let's ignore me. Whatever.

I wasn't taking shots at all.

I was curious about what people consider a one nighter, and NJQT stated that it was two people who are more or less strangers to one another. For some reason, I thought it could be people who have known each other, but it's not necessarily a "friends with benefits" type situation.

For example, two people who work in the same company and have casually known each other for years. They're at a company function and decide to hook up for a night. Sure, it's a one night stand, but she probably knows the guy isn't necessarily creepy because she's seen him in the workplace over the years.

 

[Drifterwood]

Ms. T, you have never had a one nighter by any definition, so you just don't know and therefore you certailnly can't judge.

I have had some incredible raw sex for sex's sake and several times I haven't even come which hasn't bothered me in the slightest. Like last night for instance.

There are women who can appreciate sex for sex's sake with no strings attached and there are guys who are happy to lay back and enjoy the ride whilst they take what they want.

I don't confuse this with relationships and life plans. It is possible :smile: :wink:

 

[marleyisalegend]

Ms. T, you have never had a one nighter by any definition, so you just don't know and therefore you certailnly can't judge.

I have had some incredible raw sex for sex's sake and several times I haven't even come which hasn't bothered me in the slightest. Like last night for instance.

There are women who can appreciate sex for sex's sake with no strings attached and there are guys who are happy to lay back and enjoy the ride whilst they take what they want.

I don't confuse this with relationships and life plans. It is possible :smile: :wink:

amen. seems like there's a stigma against the "one-night stand" as being a copout for relationships but certainly everyone who's had or prefers one night stands have varying reasons for doing so, doesn't necessarily mean they don't know how to commit. depending on where you are in your life, ONS might be more practical than a committed relationship