BronxBombshell said:
I'm not forcing him. The offer is always on the table for me to go home. I almost never invite myself over either. If you invite a woman over for the express purpose of having sex with her, and she's already told you that if that sex results in a pregnancy, you will be a father, and that you can choose your level of physical involvement with your new child, but that a judge will choose your level of financial involvement, you are agreeing to her terms.
I can see your point there, and I do agree that he is making his own bed, so to speak. The thing is, I just wouldn't WANT a guy to be the father of my kid if I knew going in he didn't want to be. He's obviously very irresponsible already and not interested in having kids. I wouldn't want to go into that knowing the kid wouldn't be wanted by his father, that's a tough place to be for a child. I know it happens often enough, but I'd rather try to at least stack the odds in my favor. I feel that if your give men a chioce and they WANT to have the kid, then they have no gripe if the relationship doesn't work out about supporting the kids they helped create. So often fatherhood is just pinned on a guy without his consent (Not that he's blameless either, I'm playing devil's advocate to a degree) and he resents the responibility from the get-go. I know we see the abortion argument differently, but an aborted fetus will never live a life of neglect or feel the anguish that can cause.
I'm not pushing my view on him any more than I'm pushing sex on him. He knows my position. The first time we talked about this, we ended up just cuddling and going to sleep. The next morning, he made his decision by penetrating me. He's not the most responsible person I've ever met. But he's tons of fun to be around, I always learn something amazing from him, and he's great in bed. At least I've been honest with him from the word go. I wonder what the three women he's fatherd boys with told him.
If I believed abortion was wrong, this bolded part would be a problem for me.
I think all Webster's saying is that anyone should be free to hold their own views, but when it comes to things that financially impact others, those others also have a say. I am very much in favor of programs to help those in difficult situations, but I think it's very fair to expect that we make what adjustments are POSSIBLE to reduce the weight load. If we are in effect planning to have unwanted children born to lower income women who may or may not have a man to help, that's not a system that feels fair to me to be forced to support. I planned my kid, I paid her way, and I don't see it as my job to raise someone else's kids who don't believe in abortion OR family planning. The potential for condom failure is always there, this I know. I am of the opinion that being against abortion is a very weighty position to take, I couldn't do it. I don't see a fetus's right to life as being higher than my right to enjoy my life with sex being only done for procreation. If you do support that stance, it's going to take a lot of willpower that I don't have. Still, my right to enjoy sex, knowing that as a fertile woman, at some point I may have to encounter this issue, should not be funded by the state. Failing to plan is planning to fail, and I don't see the personal chioces of others as MY responsibility.